Mr. Ocean will get the love he deserves from now on.Last week we reached out to our congregation to better understand what we were doing right, what we should be doing better and what we shouldn't be doing at all.
You spoke, and in huge numbers - so huge that it's going to take a lot more time to read through and digest all of your responses. We're taking all of your suggestions very seriously, even including the deliberately unserious ones.
That's because we embrace the fact that some of the best ideas happen by accident: Viagra was supposed to be a boring medication to help lower high blood pressure, not mutli-billion dollar boner pills.
Potato chips were invented when a spiteful chef in Saratoga was sick of fielding complaints over his soggy potatoes. He responding by slicing them too thin to be picked up with a fork just to troll his diners, who responded back with delight by loving them into a ubiquitous multi-billion dollar global obesity enterprise (i.e. the original #reversepotatoTROLLGAZE).
And once upon a time in a move to ease shipping costs, wine was distilled and placed into wooden casks with the intention of adding water back in upon delivery. When it arrived at its destination, it had turned into brandy, and after-dinner boozing was accidentally improved forever.
So when you tell us you want more pictures Brady Hoke being set on fire and fewer pictures of Brady Hoke not being set on fire (there were multiple requests for both) we take all of that seriously, because pictures of Brady Hoke in flames might end up being the next Viagra, and we don't want to be the guys who let that fortune slip through our fingers.
Next week, Jason wiill share your feedback, at which time he'll also reveal who the randomly-selected winners of free merch from the 11W Dry Good Depot were.
In the meantime, I'd like to share with you just some of the initial responses that gave us pause, made us squint, or spontaneously removed liquids from our mouths and deposited them onto our computer screens:
SOME 11W READERS WANT MORE OF THIS:
Nude Buckeye Cheerleaders Ed.: multiple requests for more nudity
I also enjoy the satire, and the Game Of Thrones/Harry Potter type stuff you guys do too. Yet Nerd is like religion to me.
Also, please work the words milquetoast, nancyboy, and lamesauce into your vocabulary. Sissylala is also a good one. Insults definitely need to become awesomer: lame names for the state of Michigan and such should be pummeled and replaced with not crap. This would cheer me immensely.
Let's get together for beers a couple of times a year. Like Eat Too Brutis we can raise some cheddar for a good cause.
Keg stands. Script Ohio. Card stunts.
Boobs. Ed.: multiple requests for more nudity, with anatomical specificity
ohio state winning a national title
The sweet tears and crestfallen looks on the formerly smug faces of all of my friends and co-workers who are Michigan fans after we roll to a nother satisfying victory.
Cheerleaders, the ones that pee sitting down! Ed.: Done. ----> http://11w.rs/qoYyph
(censored) Ed.: multiple requests for graphic nudity that left uncensored would immediately trip your office's profanity filter. Please note - there are other sites that already do that. Very, very well.
refer to Michigan as that "whorehouse above Indiana"
Jamal Berry touchdown returns.
Aaron Craft singing.
SOME 11W READERS WANT LESS OF THIS:
Damns for the whole state of Michigan
I don't like the obsessive, nearly pedophilic manner in which some other sites follow recruiting.
Please tell Ramzy to keep his pants on. Ed.: "Pants?" What are pants?
I would not like to see any member of your staff slow dance to the 1989 hit "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx with a shirtless Joe Tiller.
Stop not posting pictures of Brady Hoke being set on fire.
There was this one time when I put my cursor over a photo on the site and no witty text appeared. Please don't let that happen again.
Refer to Brady Hoke by any name other than Fred Flintstone.
(censored). You can never have too many (censored).
Continue not sucking.
IF SOME 11W READERS RAN ELEVEN WARRIORS, THEY WOULD:
Boobs. Seriously. And recipes that include bacon.
11W is like Mary Poppins...practically perfect in every way.
Free Beer Fridays.
Pay myself millions of dollars, obviously.
Run Dave all day long.
Invent a cure for cancer. Ed.: We're already working on that.
Find a sugar mama and pay all you guys so you could do this full time.
[Ed.: We're in favor of all of these suggestions, so much.]
YOUR OPEN SHOUTBOX COMMENTS INCLUDED:
Dont call my previous answers a man-crush.......
Btw, the site is also banned on US government computers, specifically those of the DoD.
I like cinnamon pop tarts, gyros, and Buckeye football, but not necessarily in that order.
I paid for my tattoos. Go Bucks!
Hello.
michigan sucks
There was something else I was going to say, but I'm in a work meeting right now and can't seem to remember what it was.
You kids stay off my lawn!!!!
I pee sitting or standing, but mostly sitting these days. It used to be "standing only," the way "real men" used to do, until I realized the benefits of sitting, like not waking the puppie at first, then not having to clean the splattered mess around the bathroom toilet. There was a time, about 15 years ago, when I shared this information with NO ONE but my significant other, and it took awhile before I had the nerve to share it with her.
LOUD NOISES
a pic of sarah would be nice. Just kidding. I am happily married but even a prisoner gets to look at the window once and while.
Jason and Chris are (expletive). Ed.: Yes. We know.
Oh, and I like pie.
since I can tell you anything I want, I love cheese, will always select Young MC's "Bust a Move" as my go to karaoke tune, and as much as I hate to admit it I have a liking for "It's Raining Men" that to this day I really don't fully understand.
KNIBB HIGH FOOTBALL RULES
I love Butterfingers, crispity, crunchety, peanut buttery, Butterfingers.
Indictment of Clarett was an inside job.
I hate all things related to Ohio State University, especially its fans.
Billy Ocean is the most underrated singer of our time. <------------ Ed.: We agree, and that is the most underrated video in music video history
I come to you guys everyday for my Buckeye news and follow most of you [expletives] on twitter.
Thank you for making Buckeye Nation seem somewhat less ignorant.
I do like Bell's beers.
I want my face in place of Coach Fickell's up at the top of your page for a week. Ed.: Everything is negotiable.
I love lamp.
Mark May is a major dick in addition to the arguably more offensive flaw of being a criminally stupid human being
This site + reddit = zero productivity at work
Are Michigan fans welcome here? Ed.: Yes. Everyone is welcome at 11W. Please note - there are other sites that already do the "unwelcome" thing. Very, very well.
In all seriousness, thanks to all of you - our bosses - for giving us our performance review. As our audience has dramatically ballooned over the past year and change, we're more focused than ever on making sure we get this whole "your favorite Buckeye blog" thing right.
We're committed to delivering you the finest free Ohio State content and in all of this crazy series of tubes. Don't let up on us, and we won't stop trying.
