Dear Columbus residents, in case you've been annoyed with my recent Skull Sessions starting off with rants about how badly I'm craving something that's simply a drive-thru away... unless you're in Columbus, OH... then rest assured I'm not completely heartless. I'd sign away my first-born for a Caniac Combo right now (swap the coleslaw for Texas toast, and don't even get me started on coleslaw). Someone, anyone, please go to Cane's for lunch today... and post a picture of the deliciousness, so I can remember the good times.
Now, for the third week in a row, you're likely wondering why this girl you read every Friday morning won't shut up about fast food. You're wondering what any of this has to do with college athletics. It's actually a bit of an ironic twist on the classic, "back to the kitchen." So, I'd like to give a shout out to my brother-from-another-mother, Cassanova McKinzy, for legitimizing my fast food rants in the world of college sports. Big ups, big dawg!
THE WHINING CONTINUES. In case you've found yourself trying to list out the reasons why the B1G has suffered a drop off in prominence, look no further than Bret Bielema's latest comments.
You know that conference down south? The one that has won each of the last six national championships. The one that finished the 2011 season with four top ten teams. The one that knows they're good enough to obnoxiously chant their initials at the end of the games. Well, according to Bret Bielema, “We at the Big Ten don’t want to be like the SEC—in any way, shape or form.”
That's right, SEC... we don't like your kind, 'round here! Please do not infect the gloriously sacred B1G with your college-football-dominating ways. We want nothing to do with any of it. According to Matt Hayes, Bielema can't stop pouting about how Urban Meyer is, "getting under the skin of his colleagues," which really leads me to wonder... is this guy for real? Was he trying to be friends with the same coaches he had no problems running up the score on?
The story gets better though. You didn't think it could, but it does. While Bielema was so caught up in this "gentleman's code" of the B1G, he seemed to have forgotten the number one rule of life... snitches get stitches. He said that Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez will talk to Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany today in Chicago, at the B1G AD meetings. Unfortunately, according to Adam Rittenberg, there actually is no meeting today... so we'll have to see if telling "mommy" on Urban will pan out for those guys. Until then, I'd imagine the meeting will go a little something like this.
What does Urban Meyer think about these allegations? Doug Lesmerises had a good summary of that, but I'd imagine the facial expression looked something like this. November 17th is going to be so much fun.
NO REDSHIRTS, FOR THE SCARLET AND GRAY. Brian Bennett got a chance to talk to Urban Meyer yesterday, following all the National Signing Day craziness. If you love all things Urban, and all things recruiting, it's a pretty good read. If you're going to start pretending now that you don't have the time for such things, here are some of highlights that stood out.
Urban Meyer, on the newest defensive lineman of the Buckeye family:
We don't redshirt here at Ohio State. We're changing that up. We're going to have the culture out here that there's no redshirting. If you don't play here, it's because you're not good enough. It's not because we're holding you back. We're going to recruit the kind of player where we want them on the field right now.
On the speed at the offensive skill positions:
I saw on film and looked at the stats, and you would say from statistical analysis and just evaluation that we're not very good at all. But I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and see what happens in spring practice and evaluate them in the offseason, which starts Monday. But we're not where we need to be, by a long shot.
On how much they're working on the class of 2013:
Oh, we're killing it. We're all over it.
"I want YOU to get strategically engaged!"
SOMEONE ACTUALLY HIRED THAT SCUMBAG, JIM TRESSEL?! Jim Tressel is returning to the place where he started his career, the University of Akron. After rumors had been brewing for awhile, it was announced Thursday that Tressel will begin as the vice president of strategic engagement at Akron on May 1st, with an annual, base salary of $200,000.
Tressel's administrative role has nothing to do with football or the athletic department, but based on some of the reactions yesterday, you'd think it does. In fact, with the revival of Tressel's character assault, upon news of the hiring, you'd also think he punched babies and kicked puppies. And, while people will likely ridicule this notion... Tressel will be doing what he does best, helping young people succeed.
Dennis Dodd of CBS tweeted on Thursday: "Tressel has "enforcement" in his new title. #giggle." I guess basic reading wasn't a required course at the University of Missouri.
If you'd like another Tressel-related laugh, check out how the San Francisco Chronicle described the tat-gate scandal. Then, just think about it for a second.
COMMITMENT-PHOBIA BREAKTHROUGH. While the NCAA legislation is still pending (82 schools have spoken out against it to the NCAA), several schools opted to provide their recruits with four year guarantees on their scholarships, protecting them in case their on-field production doesn't meet expectations. The trend was fairly common in the Big Ten, as Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State, and Nebraska all gave four year guarantees to their football recruits this week. Auburn and Florida did this as well.
Oddly enough, Nick Saban isn't really a big fan of the idea. Who would've thought? Saban claimed that his reasoning was because, back in his day, when four year scholarships were common... it led to lawsuits. He further added, "I think this is some people’s cynical approach to think that coaches don’t have the best interest of the young people that they coach in mind. I resent that. I think that every coach that I know has the best interest of his players in mind.” How anyone could possibly think a man who is capable of walking over a convulsing player doesn't have his players' best interest at heart... I will never understand.
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SWOON. Buckeye Nation's favorite heartthrob, since the departure of Dane Sanzenbacher, has made the recent cut of finalists for the Bob Cousy Award. Aaron Craft is still up to receive the award, along with ten other finalists, on April 2nd. The award is given annually to the top male collegiate basketball point guard. Criteria for the award are leadership, team work, success, and fundamentals. You can cast a vote for the award on CousyAward.com, starting February 6th.
The other finalists for the award are: Pierre Jackson (Baylor), Scott Machado (Iona), Casper Ware (Long Beach State), Phil Pressey (Missouri), Isaiah Canaan (Murray State), Kendall Marshall (North Carolina), Matthew Dellavedova (St. Mary's), Scoop Jardine (Syracuse), Damian Lillard (Weber State) and Jordan Taylor (Wisconsin).
LINKS, LINKS LINKS! In case you missed the announcement yesterday, check out 11W's most recent addition... This is still the most disturbing story about Bret Bielema... Few things are cuter than a bulldog puppy, but this is one of them... Nothing to do with sports, but a great read... I'm going to start watching this every morning, but this should get you pumped as well.
