Happy Friday everyone, and welcome to your morning Skull Session! As my main man Verlon Reed has astutely pointed out, today ends two-a-days for the Ohio State football team, probably much to the delight of all players involved. Meyer and company have been rocking these guys hard in preparation for the season, and frankly at this point, they probably need a little bit of pull back from the 24/7 punch to the groin that is a double session of practice.
Allow me to interject a little of my own life experience. I played soccer all throughout high school, and I was terrible. But my team was not, and we also had two-a-days as run by a former Marine with an artificial hip who seemed hell-bent on forcing us to run all of the miles that he was no longer able to.
Soccer isn't football, and high school isn't college, and my coach wasn't Urban Meyer. But every day I would wake up and understand that for the entirety of two-a-days, soccer (and more specifically, running plus cone drills) was going to be my life for the foreseeable future. And for a kid whose highest (unrealized) athletic ambition was to not look like a complete dork in front of any girls bored enough to watch a high school soccer game after school, this was a tough pill to swallow.
My point is that I feel you pain and know your joy, Mr. Reed. Get through today without looking too much like a nerd, and it's easy sailing all the way through November. Right? RIGHT???
A POOR ANALOGY. The exodus continues. Another player has left Penn State, which means I'm sure that someone somewhere has made a "like rats on a sinking ship" analogy, which is patently unfair to both Penn State players (because who would blame any of these guys for leaving?) and sinking ships (because boat regulations have made great strides oversight since the 1950s whereas Penn State has not). But lest we gloat too much, let's not forget a little departure of our own.
COLUMBUS -- A former Ohio State University linebacker's request to have his criminal case dismissed was denied Thursday.
Storm Klein, 21, was charged with domestic violence and assault, each a first-degree misdemeanor, for reportedly "violently and purposefully" grabbing his girlfriend by the forearms and throwing her into the front door of his apartment July 6, according to a Columbus police report.
Yeah, whatever small glimmer of light that might've existed for Klein in the OSU program has just been blotted out, although I have a feeling that football is fairly low on his priorities list right now. Honestly, I kind of enjoyed the Stoneburner/Mewhort thing in a weird juxtapositional kind of way—puts other things in perspective and makes you acknowledge where the real problems are. Well, if Storm did what he's accused of, then he's one of those Real Problems. Goodbye forever.
BOOM OR BUST. Boom Herron got some playing time for the Bengals in their preseason victory over Atlanta last night, and despite drawing some good reviews from the coaches in practice, he was less than stellar. Those stats come with something of a caveat; he did have a nice run that was called back on a holding penalty, and only one errant pass was thrown his way. Still, he just didn't look big enough for any kind of inside running game, and if he gets any playing time it'll have to be on the strength of his pass catching.
Yeah, I just called this guy small. Smart move there, JohnnyBEST BETTER NOT HAPPEN. In Brian Bennett's latest fever dream, he projects Michigan to be able to potentially top out at 12-1 with a BCS championship, which would effectively end the age of man and usher in a dark era of demons and hellspawn before the Earth is engulfed in the eternal black flame of Barzak-A'Thiim, Bile of the Deep.
Hoke improves to 2-0 against "Ohio" with a 31-0 shutout. Every recruit in the stands that day commits to Michigan. The NCAA finds more Jim Tressel violations and adds another year to the Buckeyes' bowl ban. Urban Meyer retires, citing health and family reasons. Arizona finishes 0-12 under Rich Rodriguez.
Oh that's adorable. I just imagine Brian Cook reading this in bed at night while wearing footy pajamas and giggling himself to sleep. In reality, though I think Michigan is going to have a good team this year, they stay static or take a step back at virtually every unit, especially defensive line. Denard might put together an insane year, but he's a double-edged sword. Plus I'm fairly sure that Michigan somehow beating Ohio State in Columbus this year would lead to Congress banning football altogether so I'm not too worried about it.
MONTEE'S BIG ADVENTURE. Bielema offered up some more details about exactly what went down with Montee Ball that led to him being assaulted, and apparently it involved literally a fifth of the entire football team? According to Coach 80s Jock Stereotype, 15-20 members of his team "were at some type of gathering and something briefly went down." Yes hmm, "some type of gathering." I'm sure it was a backgammon tournament or something.
I mean, yes, kids party, it's college, whatever. People do dumb stuff on a regular basis and no one is exempt. But honestly? If 20 of his players were at a party where his star player gets assaulted, that's probably something where the fans and the media are owed a little more of an explanation. I dunno! If we get to hear in extreme detail about how a couple of Ohio State players peed on a building and hid in some bushes, maybe Wisconsinites should be given the same luxury with regard to their starting RB.
WELL EXCUUUSSSEEE ME, LINKESS! From Honey Badger to just Badger... I react the same way... Big Ten posters, OSU lucked out... I enjoy ample posteriors, this is true... Bane Kiffin... OLD MAPS!!!... Notre Dame fans are really, really mad... DOGGY DOG.
