Friday Skull Session

There should probably be a statue built somewhere in Columbus for the person who invented the 16-Bit Barcade on 4th and Main. We built one of a steroid-infested philanderer, and all that guy does is hold an annual conference of body builders and their chemists and ruin Columbus' night-scene for a week.

The 16-Bit Barcade is a bit of true industry for this city, and I'm not just saying that because I'm damn-near militant with the pistol on Time Crisis II.

BRAXTON "JUST DOESN'T KNOW" IF HE'S GOING PRO. Yesterday, Braxton became only the fourth player to ever win the Silver Football twice, joining such peers as Archie "2Heizmanz" Griffin. (The Silver Football is actually 11-years older than the Heisman and is given to the B1G's MVP.) 

I said on Monday: Braxton Miller's chances of turning pro are higher than a lot of people assume. Buried in the article about Braxton's dynamic 2013 campaign, in which he grew leaps and bounds in previous years, was this nugget about his decision:

Hmmm. Really makes ya think, doesn't it?

To me, I think the picture won't be clearer until Tom Herman's status as Ohio State coordinator is cleared up. If he stays, then I think Braxton would be inclined to do the same. If Herman was lured away from Columbus? Then I think Braxton could be off to greener pastures. 

Devin Smith will be back for his senior season, but I've already written off Shazier. His draft stock isn't going to get any higher posting another 100+ tackle season in the disrespected Big Ten; he can only hurt it. (See: Roby, Bradley.)  

Plus, every footballing career has an expiration date. (Obviously I'd be elated to be proven wrong.)

30 FOR 30: YOUNGSTOWN BOYS. Because I'm deep in the dope game, I have already seen ESPN's Youngstown Boys. I've always loved Maurice Clarett and his story, and after viewing Youngstown Boys, that's not going to change for the foreseeable future. (TRIGGER WARNING: MAKE SURE YOU DO SOME DUSTING BEFORE HAND. I hadn't teared up that much during a flick since Born to Be Wild in 1995 when I was nine.) I can't recommend it enough. 

Last night at the Gateway Film Center, ESPN premiered its latest installment of its dynamite franchise. The soiree gave us this glorious picture:

Ramzy, off the top rope from the couch in his mom's basement to taking a red carpet selfie with the former Stuntmaster General of Ohio State football!!! Damn, do I love Jim Tressel.

The night, however, took a darker turn when it produced the most perturbing tweet I've ever read:

Wow... that completely interferes with my belief that Buckeye Guy and his ilk deserve to be entombed in a dumpster behind Papa John's. It was surprising because there are only surveillance cameras on closed circuit television in prisons.

Ramzy dropped part one of his behind-the-scenes look at the documentary on Wednesday. At 10:15 AM today, he will drop his second piece. Ramzy is good. The documentary is good. Ohio State isn't playing until next month. Check it all out, people.

GET SLEPT THEN, OL DUDE

VEGAS AIN'T BUYING THE SEC HYPE. Here's an interesting article from Fox Sports:

"You would think in a game between the No. 1 and No. 2 teams, [the spread] wouldn't be that big of a gap, but this isn't the No. 1 versus No. 2,” White told me. "This is our No. 1 team versus our No. 13 team."

In its latest power ratings released this week, Don Best rates FSU as a 127.5 – meaning, FSU is 27.5 points better than an average team with a baseline of 100. Auburn rates 115, a half-point better than Missouri, South Carolina and UCLA and a half-point worse than Oklahoma.

How is it that the SEC champion -- the "best team in the nation's best conference," as some might commonly label the winner of the SEC title -- falls so far behind other teams with seemingly inferior credentials? Well, simply, Vegas doesn't sing the same narrative tunes that made-for-TV BCS debates do.

I have no idea what to expect in the national title game other than points. Vegas is a powerful sage, and if they're not buying Auburn then perhaps the SEC's Reign of 10,000 Suns is finally in its end of days. I'm not sure how I'd feel about Florida State as Kingslayer — I had always imagined it'd be Urban Meyer standing over Nick Saban's tiny broken corpse holding a bloody knife and cackling like a rabid jackal — but damn am I tired of the SEC.

JFF IS TAKING HIS FOOTBALL AND GOING PRO. College football will be in search of a new troll demi-god next year:

With Jameis Winston basically a shoe-in for the Heisman, there will only be one competitor for Archie's record next year. So now that JFF won't be joining Archie in the pantheon on the Heisman Tropy count, I think it's all time for you guys to apologize to me and admit Johnny Football is an American icon and will be a player at the next level.

 THOSE WMDs. The Paranoid Life of Two Mid-Level Cleveland Bookies... Japan's Koshien Bowl enjoys rich history... NYT on Tennessee's Controversial Flat Tax Rate on Professional Athletes... Columbus big winner for NCAA events... "Short North Posse" targeted by CPD in drug sweep... Ohio officials taking on drug-abusing pet owners... Crew 96 traded former talisman Chad Marshall... Part three of the LA Times' look at the manhunt of Christopher Dorner... Lion turns on tamer... Cat on a cannon... Coolest science photos of 2013...