Well, I finally did it. After a few weeks of feeding a stray cat — and with Old Man Winter's no-good-having-ass lurking around the corner — the ashen remains of my heart could no longer take it. I had no choice but to adopt the talented barber.
Only two more cats to go until I am an officially-minted Catlord. Given the current pace of my cat-hoarding, that's scheduled for 2019. Please keep me in your prayers.
RUTGERS ROLLS INTO OHIO STADIUM AS BIG DOGS. No, I'm not talking about the ironically iconic 1990s t-shirt brand. According to the Vegas Death Machine©, Rutgers sits as 19½-point underdogs against Ohio State.
From Keith Sargeant of NJ.com:
Ohio State, ranked No. 13 nationally in both major polls, has outscored foes by an average of 38.7 points in winning three straight since dropping a 35-21 decision to Virginia Tech in Week 2. Four of Rutgers' five games against FBS competition have been decided by a touchdown or less, with the Scarlet Knights coming out on the winning end in three of those tilts.
Rutgers' four wins over FBS competition have come against teams with a combined 10-17 record, while Ohio State's four victories have come against teams with a combined 9-15 mark.
I wrote back in June I'd get a tasteful Scarlet Knights tattoo if Rutgers knocked off Ohio State in Ohio Stadium. Thankfully for me, there was an Urban Meyer being alive/Braxton Miller being healthy qualifier.
Regardless, I love RU QB Gary Nova — he's a boss hogg outlaw — but can we please fast forward to Ohio State's November 8th trip to East Lansing? Rutgers is bad. Penn State is bad. Illinois is the worst. What is gained from playing these teams? The answer is nothing.
I know Ohio State only plays on a handful of fall Saturdays, and it's not wise to wish any of them away, but good lord I'm getting impatient waiting for a good team to challenge Ohio State. I WANT TO KNOW IF THE BUCKEYES ARE REALLY THIS YOUNG AND DANGEROUS OR IF THIS IS ALL A SICK, SICK MIRAGE.
And Michigan State better not lose against Indiana or Michigan or after Ohio State leaves town. Ohio State's playoff hopes can't afford it.
PRESSING DOESN'T MEAN CONTACT. You might remember Chris Spieleman questioning why Ohio State's cornerbacks weren't being physical with Maryland's receivers at the snap. It's actually part of Chris Ash's design.
From Blake Williams of BuckeyeSports.com:
“The misnomer with press technique from a typical fan point of view is ‘you’ve got to get your hands on them,’” Ash said. “Well, no, you don’t. You do if they’re within striking distance of you, but you don’t want to overextend your body and basically lunge to be able to get your hands on a wide receiver.
“You want to be able to move your feet, keep the wide receiver within the frame work of your body and if you’re able to do that and contact is able to be made with both hands, great. But if you’re not then you’ve got to move your feet and you’ve got to be able to open your hips and run.”
[...]
“When defensive backs get overly aggressive with their hands at the line of scrimmage and don’t move their feet, they lunge, get overextened, that’s when you are going to get beat. The last thing we can have in our coverage structure is a corner that doesn’t have vertical control on a wide receiver. How you lose vertical control is a corner that reaches and lunges and tries to play with his hands more than his feet.”
Sounds like Chris Ash's pet-peeve is giving up the big play:
BAN ALL THE LABRUMS. This is one of the rare occasions where an ominous-sounding tweet from a player actually turns out to be ominous:
Romans 8:18 "The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us." pic.twitter.com/jrMc3j3AJu
— Brady Taylor (@beTaylor79) October 14, 2014
Yup, it's another blow to the #Dream14 class, which Urban has called the best class he's recruited at Ohio State. Sources tell Eleven Warriors it's a torn labrum for Taylor; it's an injury suffered during practice.
While the freshman offensive lineman was headed for a redshirt, it still sucks to see a young guy sidelined with an injury because they can't train. So best of luck to Brady Taylor in his recovery. I look forward to his future contributions to the best damn college football team in the country (regardless of what those bums in the AP try to say).
UH, DOES KIRK BARTON HAVE ANY ELIGIBILITY LEFT? Because when I first saw this picture I thought, "Why the hell is former WWE/UFC champion Brock Lesnar wearing a Youngstown State t-shirt and posing with Big Daddy Jim Tressel?
Great seeing the MAN @JimTressel5 on the OSU bye week. He is the best. #Legend #YSU @Healthy_FitChic pic.twitter.com/wEQbEshjtg
— Kirk Barton (@Kirk_Barton) October 12, 2014
And yeah, Kirk Barton's girlfriend could probably whip your doughy ass with a hand tied behind her back.
JAMEIS WINSTON: STILL THE WORST. Jameis Winston is basically the poster-child of what happens when a talented athlete is coddled and shielded from consequences for his entire life. You end up with a legal adult who is unable to enter a grocery store without a chaperone because he might steal $30 in shellfish.
But because the federal government is cracking down on how colleges prosecute sexual assaults, and because it sure looks like Florida State muzzled an investigation into Winston's alleged sexual assault, Florida State has announced their star quarterback will face a disciplinary board for potential violations of the student code of conduct. (He is still playing, however, unlike Notre Dame players engulfed in an academic scandal.)
Chief enabler Jimbo Fisher, who literally has millions of dollars in bonuses riding on his team's end-of-the-season performance, is on the clock:
Jimbo Fisher says Jameis Winston deserves "huge credit" for being able to put aside all the stuff. "He can do it because he knows the facts"
— TomahawkNation.com (@TomahawkNation) October 13, 2014
Or he's a sociopath who has literally never had to face any consequences other than sitting out a game against an unranked Clemson team.
(I hope somebody breaks all my fingers, individually, if something like this happens at Ohio State and I don't go ballistic over it.)
But, I guess we're about to find out how much loyalty Florida State, the institution, has to ol' Jameis Winston.
From D@rren R0ve11 and Mark Schlabach of ESPN:
ESPN has learned that after the team's 38-20 win Saturday against Syracuse, Fisher approached Winston and asked him if he signed autographs for money. Winston told Fisher, according to the source, that he did not.
L-O-fucking-L.
James Spence Authentication certified more than 500 autographs of [Georgia running back] Gurley, who is being investigated for allegedly taking money for signings.
A cursory search on JSA's website found more than 340 certified Winston autographs.
Hmmmmmmmm. Really makes you think, huh? REALLY MAKES YOU THINK. And in case you think 340 certified items all ending up with the same company is purely coincidental:
Update: James Spence Authentication has authenticated MORE THAN 900 Winston signatures, including more than 400 signed jersey #'s.
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) October 14, 2014
I'm sure Chief Enabler Jimbo Fisher has an explanation for it all:
"Kids sign things all the time," Fisher said after Saturday's game. "So what do you want them to do, stop signing stuff? We could make them not have any fans from that standpoint and not sign for anybody. That's what it's going to come to, and that's a shame for college football, that somebody exploits a kid. Now if they're getting paid for it, then I don't have any knowledge of that. I don't believe Jameis did."
Exchanging money for his signature would literally be the least reprehensible thing of which Jameis Winston has ever been accused.
On its own, I have zero problem with it. But if this is what it takes to rid college football of this plague — and make no mistake, the FSU administration, Jimbo Fisher, and Jameis Winston are a plague — then so be it. Throw the NCAA's stupid, archaic and obtuse book at these shit-eating crooks.
It honestly might be the best thing to ever happen to Jameis Winston, who unlike anybody else involved in this clown show, still has the excuse of youth.
THOSE WMDs. That touch from Zinedine Zidane... Please don't get any ideas, Big Nut... What Your Home Address Says You'll Buy... Once an NFL player retires, we don't often see the scary toll his career has taken... Cool story, lady.... Russell Westbrook is still the best... 36,000 lbs of Crisco stolen in Florida... The Boilermaker is staging a comeback.... Suck it up, kid.
