The longer I watch Ohio State, the more I start to learn to appreciate these ridiculous blowout wins that everyone starts complaining about sometime in the second quarter. This entire post could just be a compilation of tweets from bored Buckeye fans moaning about the length of the game, all from somewhere north of the 7:30 mark in the second quarter, and you'd get a pretty good idea of the overall public reaction to this win over the mighty Kent State Golden Flashes.
That's not how I roll, though. Winning football is good football, and in my humble (and correct) opinion, every second of a 66 point victory over a crappy team is worth savoring like a juicy steak dripping in butter and wrapped in pork chop flavored bacon infused with cream of pizza. I don't know how to cook or even really what food goes with other food and in what order, but I do know that football rules and in April I'm not going to whine about the offseason because I thoroughly enjoyed every single monotonous second of this boring-ass game.
The only thing that I'm remotely sad about is that Kenny Guiton no longer stands alone atop the single game touchdown record, but other than that this was three and a half hours of much needed catharsis. All those complaining can get out. Here's what the internet had to say!
Kent State doing things on defense that would otherwise be super effective if it had talent.
— Vico (@ourhonordefend) September 13, 2014
And that would be a theme. Honestly, it's kind of comforting to know that even after losing to an unranked team which then itself got slammed by an unranked team, Ohio State is still light years ahead of the Kent States of the world. Especially when angry.
This was my favorite Twitter moment of the day:
Looked like Tyvis Powell's right foot was out of bounds. We'll see.
— Bill Rabinowitz (@brdispatch) September 13, 2014
I think that's out of bounds.
— Michael Citro (@11W_Michael) September 13, 2014
Yeah, he's out of bounds. Appreciate the optimism, though.
— Vico (@ourhonordefend) September 13, 2014
This will get overturned.
— Dave Biddle (@davebiddle) September 13, 2014
WRONG! Tyvis Powell kind of/maybe/possibly got a foot down in bounds on an early INT that proves that replay is pretty much just light frosting on the poop cake that is college sports officiating.
But then ball decided not to lie and Michael Thomas let a pass bounce off his chest and into the arms of a Kent State defender. Whatever, no harm done because not only did Kent State manage only 126 total yards in the game, they only even ventured into the Ohio State 50 once. And even that was like to the 48 and no further. Kent State bad.
I want to see them score as much as possible today...
— Maurice Clarett (@ReeseClarett13) September 13, 2014
Damn right, Mo C. A wise man once said that nothing cleanses the soul like getting the hell* (*may not have actually said "hell") kicked out of you, but it's equally true that kicking the hell out of someone else can do wonders for your psyche. This is one game where I am perfectly happy that we've got Gordon Gekko coaching our team instead of Willy Loman on roids, because even maligned field goal kickers were getting into the act!
If Ohio State ends up trying a field goal, Sean Nuernberger missed 4 straight field goals at this end during warmups. About 35-yarders.
— Doug Lesmerises (@DougLesmerises) September 13, 2014
And right down the middle from 41. Ohio State leads 24-0.
— Doug Lesmerises (@DougLesmerises) September 13, 2014
I'm actually really happy for Sean Nuernberger because he's probably realized that his horrendous game against Virginia Tech might've been the screw the whole game turned on. But whatever, you Kent State slayer! You're back!
At this point, and for the rest of the game, Ohio State was pretty much doing whatever they wanted at will. That, for some people, is when the game gets boring. Not me though, because that's when things on Twitter start to get a little... well...
No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone id rather be with you
— Adam Griffin (@yunggriffsays) September 13, 2014
I miss you too, Adam.
Also I included this Jay Richardson tweet because his profile picture gives absolutely zero craps about Kent State, despite them just being a plucky little small conference team who wants a little respect in this big scary world. Maybe Jay and I should show a little grace in victory, or maybe a little friendship to our in-state brethren. It's what Jim Tressel would do, and, well... at heart, we're all Buckeyes, right?
Well screw that you little plebeian turds, YOU GOTTA LEARN YOUR PLACE!
Buckeyes absolutely steamrolling Kent State (like we should). Good to see Barrett get more comfy in the offense. Gettn this frustration out
— Jay Richardson (@JayRichardson99) September 13, 2014
The rest of the game kind of devolved into a Matt Millen/Cardale Jones joke off, which I heartily endorse during all games, not just blowouts of Kent State.
As bad as Matt Millen was as the @Lions GM, multiply that by 10 & you have how bad he is as a color analyst. @espn
— Matt Finkes (@MattFinkes) September 13, 2014
What do you think Cardale wants to play less: school, or lining up in the I formation against KSU handing the ball to the 8th string RB?
— Kevin Harrish (@Kevinish) September 13, 2014
Haha, yeah! Eat it, rich old guy and young man in the prime of his life! You're lame and we are not, by virtue of us being able to tweet about you while you look silly! Blammo!
Now we can go forth and celebrate!!! RT @Johnny11W: WE WON YAY
— Buckeye Xtra (@BuckeyeXtra971) September 13, 2014
But in the end, this is still about an Ohio State win, and a win that I think all of us needed after the Virginia Tech game. The Buckeyes racked up over 600 yards of offense while allowing only about one and a half sauropods worth from Kent State. That's a win in my book, and I'm not going to complain about how boring it was to sit through. Because that's the point: a win is never boring. Because it's a win. I'll take it.
So yes, go forth and celebrate! We've got a few weeks to enjoy the win, and to the victor go the spoils. Even if they were potentially ill-gotten.
Good call ref! http://t.co/OmefGobrNz"
— Tyvis Powell (@1Tyvis) September 13, 2014
WHADDUP TYVIS!!
