Twitter Reaction: We Still Don't Know What A Hoosier Is

By Johnny Ginter on November 23, 2014 at 8:30 am
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For the best possible reading experience, please click here and play the linked video on a continuous loop.

Remember the 90s? Brilliant artists like Britney Spears, Darude, House of Pain, Guns 'N Roses, Darude, Milli Vanilli, and of course the incomparable Darude etched their names on the tablet of musical history for all of humanity to listen to for all time, primarily at football games where one hundred thousand plus are held hostage to the whims of someone with a VHS copy of Total Request Live from September 13th, 1999.

Yeah, yeah, the football, Johnny, the football, but please allow me but a few internet bytes to complain about the overall crapulence of the musical selections made by the powers that be in Ohio Stadium.

I get that it's a fine line; the challenge as a PA operator is to try and create a fun atmosphere without scaring off elderly boosters by presenting them with mental images of young people who use curse words or have tattoos. You have to be loud, but inoffensively melodic; edgy, but toothless enough to play in front of your mom's friend from work. Hence, Welcome To The Jungle, Hit Me Baby One More Time, and Sandstorm (seven times yesterday by my count).

But that's stupid. One iteration of Sandstorm is way, way too many. In part because it's a football game and not a Eurotrash club in the asscrack of one of the weirder parts of Europe, but mostly because it shows a distinct lack of imagination. As does year seven or eight of Seven Nation Army or the entire discography of AC/DC.

My point is this: just like in football, teams need to develop an identity, and that extends to the stadium that they play in. Right now, Ohio Stadium's identity is "dad made me a mixtape that he thinks will impress my friends at my 13th birthday party and he's making me play it on a loop." I'm not saying the solution is Cheef Keef or NWA, but for the love of God, figure out what the Kids These Days are actually listening to and then play it. Maybe get some more Ohio bands in there too (anyone who complains about Bone Thugs can turn in their tickets right now), but even if it means more Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift, I'm okay with it.

Hell, if Dantonio can get down with Rich Homie Quan, I think Urbs can rock out to some J Roddy Walston or Kendrick Lamar or something.

Anyway! The game!

Nobody was there! The announced and completely fake attendance was 101,426, but it was probably way closer to 90-95 thousand. I'd like to attribute this entirely to crappy stadium music choices, but the truth is that some horrible driving conditions coupled with a wet and windy beginning to the game was probably more of a factor. People did eventually show up, but were quickly disappointed.

Because unfortunately, after a promising beginning, the Ohio State offense went into Yakkity Sax mode and turned the ball over a good fifty times. It's "just Indiana," but as Candice Lee and you and I know, you need to take everyone seriously in 2014 college football.

Reminder that at one point Indiana scored 20 unanswered points, partly due to J.T. Barrett doing dumb redshirt freshman things that we conveniently forget he's capable of, and partly due to Tevin Coleman being exactly as advertised. Coleman gashing the Buckeye defense isn't shocking, but what is worrisome is how similar to Wisconsin's Melvin Gordon he is, in terms of his ability to make cuts to find holes and exploit the edge to pick up huge gains. His 90 yard run to put Indiana up by six in the third quarter led to a lot of boos and this:

And then two things happened. One of the greatest punts these eyes have ever seen...

And Jalin Marshall. As I said last week, people giving him crap for some fumbles were totally overlooking some pretty obvious talent that might evolve into something pretty incredible. Hopefully those people stuffed just a little more crow in their gaping maws with every touchdown that Jalin was responsible for.

Even as Barrett struggled and Elliott found it hard to escape an Indiana defense hell-bent on stopping him after his initial breakout touchdown run, Jalin was catching three touchdown passes and returning a punt for another. Without him, Ohio State doesn't wake up and might end up losing the game.

Defensively, Josh Perry had an incredible game too; after coming off the field with a tweaked knee, he drank some of the magic drink that Michael Jordan gave the Looney Tunes in Space Jam, and came back with 14 tackles, two of which were sacks. He was all over the field, and in a game with some really bad tackling on both teams, he stood out as the exception. The core of young offensive and defensive players at Ohio State is really, really exciting, because next year they are going to be absolutely loaded on both sides of the field.

Luckily for Ohio State, Jalin and Josh and others woke up, scored 28 unanswered of their own and put the game away. It wasn't a pretty win, and the turnovers (six in the last five quarters or so) are pretty infuriating. But Indiana is a scrappy team, and better than their record might indicate. Plus, you know, they're one of the beast teams in the SEC East, so beating them meant that, well...

So after breathing a sigh of relief, we looked at each other and exchanged a sage nod with our fellow Buckeyes. This is The Week. The only week that matters. Michigan Week.

And, if you needed any extra motivation for the next seven days, well...

You sick, sadistic scumbags. You'll pay for this.

Oh, you'll pay.

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