If Cardale Jones and Tyvis Powell never played another snap at Ohio State, the roommates would go down as one of the greatest comedy tandems in OSU football history.
One of their classic japes is the, "Well, I'm actually your father" routine. And while Tyvis Powell is recognized colloquially as Cardale's father, the Iron King makes fatherhood claims as well:
(That Vine deserves more than a paltry 2,000,000+ loops.)
So who really fathered whom? We might not have access to a DNA test, but we now have Microsoft's developmental app, "How Old Am I?"
Microsoft stresses the word "developmental," but we need answers to this raging question now.
THE RESULTS
Tyvis Powell... you are not the father of Cardale Jones.
Powell may be devastated by these results, but think how much worse Wisconsin, Alabama, and Oregon will feel when they realize they got destroyed by a 50-year-old man.
UPDATE (1:02 p.m.): Tyvis Powell says his fatherhood of Cardale transcends age:
@11W in my eyes a father is one who takes care of others. If it wasn't for me the bills wouldn't get paid & I keep 12 safe and outta trouble
— Fidel Ca$hflow (@1Tyvis) May 1, 2015
Just for kicks, I ran some other players through the app.
| PLAYER | 'HoW OLD?' AGE |
|---|---|
| BRAXTON MILLER | 36 |
| JOEY BOSA | 46 |
| J.T. BARRETT | 39 |
| MICHAEL THOMAS | 44 |
| PARRIS CAMPBELL | 37 |
| RAEKWON MCMILLAN | 34 |
| TAYLOR DECKER | 36 |
| VONN BELL | 56 |
| JACOBY BOREN | 42 |
| JAMARCO JONES | 31 |
| DEMETRIUS KNOX | 25 |
Fielding a collegiate team of middle-aged men? Urban Meyer truly is a genius.
