Everything Urban Meyer touches seems to turn to gold these days.
In addition to leading his own football team to the first ever College Football Playoff championship, Meyer has made a habit of spreading good fortune wherever he goes.
On Jan. 4, Meyer served as an honorary coach for the OSU wrestling team. They then went on a run to win the school’s first ever team national title in the sport in 94 years of Buckeye wrestling. Logan Stieber also repeated as an individual national champion to finish four-for-four and Nathan Tomasello added an individual title as well.
On Jan. 19, Meyer was honored by the Cleveland Cavs, who gave the coach a personalized jersey between the first and second quarters. The Cavaliers not only beat the Bulls that night, 108-94, but they also went on to win 10 straight games.
On April 8, Meyer and members of the Ohio State football team were guests of the Cincinnati Reds, throwing out the ceremonial first pitch. The Reds went on to beat the Pirates, 5-4.
And, most recently, Meyer—just two days removed from an appendectomy—threw out the first pitch in Yankee Stadium…and then the Bronx Bombers beat the Orioles, 5-4.
So, clearly the Meyer mojo is working well these days. Who else could use a little Meyer magic? Well, lots of people, but let’s pick out a select few who really need a pep talk from Urban.
The Browns and Bengals
Neither of Ohio’s NFL teams has won a Super Bowl. But there is hope. All that has to happen to create an all-Ohio AFC Championship Game is a couple of visits from Urban up and down I-71. A trip to each team’s camp could mean a deep playoff run for both. Unfortunately, Meyer’s juju would run out for one of those teams at the conference championship, so both franchises should try to be the second team visited.
Obviously, whichever team wins the game in the 25th overtime would go on to win the Super Bowl.
The Tribe and Chicago Cubs
I’ll be honest. I don’t know if even Meyer’s mojo is enough to turn around the fortunes of my beloved Cleveland Indians. They might need to have Urban there for every game to make a serious playoff push and then he’d have to return for the postseason. Still, the Tribe should be writing Meyer a blank check at this point for unlimited pregame pep talks.
What about Chicago? The Cubbies have a long championship drought. It was 1908 the last time Cubs fans won a title, and folks probably didn’t even burn couches for championships back then. They likely just untied their bow ties and took off their derby hats for a couple of hours and really let their hair down.
The Music Industry
If you took two portable toilets, placed them in a dumpster, and placed that dumpster on top of a tire fire at the city dump, you’d have the perfect metaphor for the current music scene in the United States. Music has gotten so bad these days that there are people out there pretending like Drake, Maroon 5, Pitbull, and literally anything “featuring” something else is turning out good music.
Urbz needs to get into a room with the movers and shakers in the music industry to spawn the next great age of music, the way television has recently undergone its best era ever for dramas. If he can sprinkle a little Meyer magic on the music industry, awesome bands wallowing in obscurity like Sweden’s Moon Safari, Germany’s Sylvan, and Poland’s Riverside could be filling arenas and getting radio play in the U.S.
Columbus Blue Jackets
As someone who was on the scene for the arrival of the Columbus Chill in the East Coast Hockey League, I’ve long wanted a hockey championship in Ohio’s capital city. The success of the Chill paved the way for the Blue Jackets, but the success still hasn’t come.
The Jackets have occasionally been entertaining but they have yet to be successful. In the last five years, the team hasn’t finished above fourth place in its division and has failed to qualify for the postseason in four of those five years.
One pep talk from Meyer and the Stanley Cup could be on its way to Ohio.
That’s my list. Who would you like to see Urban Meyer instantly turn into a success?
