Ah, Thanksgiving Eve... easily the best drinking holiday on the American calendar as long as you don't drive drunk and spend Thanksgiving under the care of a gaoler.
It won't happen to me this year because I'm a retired family man. (Plus that 4:59 a.m. Thanksgiving Skull Session isn't going to write itself.)
ICYMI:
- Ohio State is No. 8 in the latest CFP poll. (They better barricade that backdoor, because it's about to be a reckoning if the Buckeyes slip through.)
- The men's basketball team lost to Louisiana Tech, 82-74. (They better barricade the backdoor to the NIT...)
BAD IDEA TO INFRINGE ON OHIO STATE'S TRADEMARKS. Imagine you're a business owner ignorant of trademark law and profiting off somebody else's #brand.
Sounds like the American Dream, right? Not according to the university we've all come to know and love.
From nbc4i.com:
At Sweet Tooth Cottage in Powell, cookies decorated with Block O, Brutus Buckeye and lots of scarlet and grey were once hot items.
[...]
That changed a year ago, when [Sue] Bissonnette got a “cease and desist” letter from The Ohio State University, stating that selling the scarlet and grey symbols was “unauthorized” and “a violation of state and federal trademark… laws.”
“I stopped immediatedly,” Bissonette said, adding the letter was intimidating, “It scared me, very much so.”
No shame there. Words on paper intimidate me to this day.
I solved this problem by never reading a book or checking my mail. (If you go this route, just remember if a stranger ever tries to ambush you with a stack of papers and your name the first word off your lips better be, "Who?") Seems like my life hustle could've have saved the Sweet Tooth Cottage a toothache.
NBC4 FOIA'd the entire 2015 list of bootleg Buckeye swag that drew the ire of Ohio State, and it's amazing:
Dang, Buckeye Vapors could taste so much money they went and got that "VAPE" business line before getting by Big Buckeye.
If I were the assistant vice president in charge of hunting down trademark bandits I would have let this one slide under Ohio State's original "land-grant" mission.
They even got Toos, which is a great bar in memory but a small subterranean concrete sweatbox in reality.
But for real, who snitched on Toos? Because that's coldhearted.
Yeezus belongs in a trashcan, but I'd have copped a $10 Geezus t-shirt.
Nobody, however, can accuse Ohio State of playing favorites among the lawbreakers.
Sam Covelli once donated $10 million to Ohio State athletics, and even he got hit with a cease and desist due to his Paneras using Ohio State marks.
And that is why I never check the mail. It's never anything but drama.
LOOKS LIKE AN OMEN TO ME. Weve been reduced to having a stake in Saturday's Penn State–Michigan State "rivalry" game. I don't think I've ever cared one iota about PSU-MSU or their atrocious trophy.
Yet here we are.
Thankfully, Darron Lee discovered an omen while walking from class on Tuesday morning:
Walking to my car from class and randomly seeing a Penn State sticker on the sidewalk...
— Darron Lee (@DLeeMG8) November 24, 2015
One can dream right? pic.twitter.com/iUBUDlWARU
— Darron Lee (@DLeeMG8) November 24, 2015
You know who else had a dream, Darron?
.... Me, and that dream was Michigan State pulled the ultimate Sparty and fell to Penn State this weekend.
Sparty runs on grudges, which works in games where everybody picks you to lose, but it's not an efficient fuel for playing a game in which you're expected to win.
I'd gladly give all six cents in my savings account to move this game to Happy Valley and make it a high noon banger. Though I suppose a home loss to a four-loss Penn State with a B1G championship berth on the line would make for one of the more classic "Sparty noooooo yesssssss" moments in our nation's young history.
#PERRYSTRONG. BTN will be airing a pre-Game segment on Joshua Perry and his family. It will focus on Perry's bond with his brother, Jahred, who suffers from Asperger's.
Players like Joshua Perry are why I laugh at hot take artists and their "Ohio State is a dysfunctional locker room" takes.
This team is built on players like Joshua Perry, and it's going to take a lot more than a 17-14 loss to a playoff contender to crumble that man and his team.
SOME OF Y'ALL STILL OWE DOLO AN APOLOGY. Most people think more Ezekiel Elliott was the cure against Michigan State, but what if the solution to Ohio State's offensive woes was Cardale Jones?
From sbnation.com:
Obviously J.T. Barrett wasn't up for that challenge, but the Buckeyes happen to have a humongous, strong-armed QB on their bench: Cardale Jones. Jones is also the guy that took over around this time last year and led Ohio State to three consecutive postseason victories and a national title. When Michigan State is forcing you to try and run over one of the Bulloughs (of which there seems to be an endless supply) do you want the 6'2 225-pound speedster or the 6'5 249-pound tank who ran over one of Oregon's nose tackles last year?
If you need someone to push the ball through the cold and beat man coverage, do you want the guy who specializes in the QB run game or the guy who opened up running lanes for Elliott last year with several deep bombs down the field?
The Buckeyes' inability to take advantage of softer coverage on the outside with quick, accurate strikes to playmakers like Jalin Marshall and Braxton Miller really cost them some easy opportunities to move the football in that game.
Doesn't sound as ludicrous as it would've a mere month ago, does it? The article makes interesting food for thought.
I expect Michigan will dare Ohio State to beat them through the air. If J.T. can't get the offense moving, will Urban Meyer make the move to the Iron King? I'm not sure about that, but I am sure it's a scenario he's weighed.
#BEATMICHIGANMEMORIES. *hops into the Time Machine*
From cleveland.com on November 25th, 2001:
ANN ARBOR, Michigan - The idea of singing the alma mater after victories sounded like it was missing a punchline when Ohio State coach Jim Tressel announced it back in August.
The quizzical looks and rolling eyes of his players said what none of them dared:
"Sure, coach. What's the joke?”
It was not until late yesterday afternoon at Michigan Stadium, with the darkness and drizzle framing OSU's 26-20 upset over the No. 11 Wolverines, that sing-along with Jim found 64 willing participants.
This one is for Jim Tressel!
May he live a long and fruitful life and die outside the custody of the law enforcement officials unjustly hounding him across the globe.
THOSE WMDs. Letter of Recommendation: Kitchen timer... How an ugly, brutally effective warplane won the battle for its future... The Serial Swatter... A secretive air cargo operation is running in Ohio, and signs point to Amazon... Lost board game found in 2,300-year-old tomb... Marion bar bans jukebox rap, creates online controversy... Best squirrel feeder in the world.
