Michigan shit the bed Saturday night and waaaaay too many Ohio State fans failed to enjoy it.
Shame on them. They squandered a delightful November meltdown by their least-favorite team fretting over division tiebreaker scenarios that don't yet exist and may not matter. Speaking of which - Michigan's loss is meaningless, which means you had to try not to enjoy that moment.
It's an unfortunate symptom from the neurotic nerdification of college football's postseason slotting. This sport is at its best when fans keep it dumb and primal, based strictly on love and hate - instead of worrying about rule books and committee whims. Jim Harbaugh took the most senior-laden team he'll ever have into a den of mediocrity and got sent home with a big fat L.
It was a beautiful sight. The Wolverines wallpapered the Iowa visitors' locker room to resemble the comforts of home (assumedly to soothe the psychological trauma of leaving Michigan for only the second time all season) and they still looked jittery. Blue was stumbling and panicking and shriveling and yet there were Buckeye fans thinking oh no, Penn State has to lose a game now.
Let's make something clear. The only team that needs to lose a game now is Michigan State.
Does that team sound familiar? You may remember this program. It's the one that ended Urban Meyer's two-season winning streak. The speed bump from 2015 that deflated Ohio State's tires. The team that didn't hold a lead against the Buckeyes in last year's game for a single minute of it - on Senior Day - and yet still won at the expense of Ohio State's sucking, stumbling, panicking and shriveling game plan in bad weather.
Urban is 57-3 against everyone else at Ohio State and just 2-2 against the Spartans. That's what's next. We've arrived. It's here, and history does not favor the Buckeyes during November or later when holding a high ranking and facing Michigan's little brother.
| YEAR | OSU RANK | MSU RANK | MONTH | SITE | OUTCOME |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2015 | #3 | #9 | NOV | OH | MSU 17, OSU 14 |
| 2013 | #2 | #10 | DEC | IN | MSU 34, OSU 24 |
| 1998 | #1 | NR | NOV | OH | MSU 28, OSU 24 |
| 1974 | #1 | NR | NOV | MI | MSU 16, OSU 13 |
| 1973 | #1 | NR | NOV | OH | OSU 35, MSU 0 |
| 1972 | #5 | NR | NOV | MI | MSU 19, OSU 12 |
| 1968 | #2 | #16 | NOV | OH | OSU 25, MSU 20 |
The Buckeyes are just 2-5 against the Spartans late in seasons when they've been in championship contention. This includes a current four-game losing streak. They have not won under this weekend's circumstances in East Lansing, ever. Even unranked Spartan teams are 3-1 against the most competent Buckeyes.
So yeah, Penn State and B1G East tiebreakers aren't worthy of your anxiety this week.
The 2014 Buckeyes aren't listed above because they were outside the top 10 when they visited East Lansing. Beating Michigan State propelled them for a championship run. During those lonely two years where top-5 Ohio State teams were able to beat the Spartans under these circumstances, the same postseason dreams were realized. They made it to the Rose Bowl (back when the Rose Bowl was the Rose Bowl).
Unranked Spartans are 3-1 in November against the most competent Buckeye teams.
Meanwhile, Iowa just dodged a fourth home loss to take down a Michigan team that by every advanced statistic was and still is a title contender. The Hawkeyes won 14-13. Their scoring went safety, touchdown, failed conversion, field goal, field goal. They roughed a center and drew two running into the punter penalties. Iowa should build a museum solely dedicated to the Iowa-ness of this game. Failing to appreciate it is an affront to football artistry. And it came at Michigan's expense.
Losing to the Spartans last season was the catalyst that finally unsheathed the Buckeyes everyone had been expecting to see since they blasted Wisconsin by 59 points in Indianapolis. They just blasted two more teams in succession by 59 points this month. That death machine last spotted during the 2014 postseason appears to be returning to form, and it's heading to East Lansing to try and wreck a Senior Day while fighting some nasty history.
Two of Urban five losses in Columbus: These guys.
This is exactly what you wanted to see. Ohio State at peak ferocity staring down the only program that's been a consistent pain in the ass this decade. This meeting has taken on new meaning - it's now the first of a two-game beauty contest the Buckeyes need to own if they hope to cement a new precedent for College Football Playoff admission.
They cannot fall off the damn stage. They just need to confidently glide across it and their playoff resumé will emphatically pass the red-face test when the time comes, which is not yet. A top-five Ohio State team needs to beat Michigan State in November for the third time ever and for the first time since the early 1970s. That's the only thing that matters.
If the Buckeyes fail to do this then they will accomplish two things: One, they'll extend Sparty's streak in these situations to five straight nightmares. And two, they'll relieve those of you who failed to enjoy Michigan's panicky collapse at Iowa from having to worry about anything Penn State decides to do for the rest of the season.
Postseason tiebreakers have earned none of your anxiety yet. Michigan State deserves all of it.
