In case you were on the fence about taking your life savings to the Golden Nugget Casino in Las Vegas to wager on Ohio State going better than 8-4 in 2016:
A down year for the #Buckeyes?
— Paul Finebaum (@finebaum) May 19, 2016
"I would be surprised if Ohio State wins 9 games" - @DannySheridan1 pic.twitter.com/OCc5PnKaP3
Anti-Buckeyes are going to be in for a long fall.
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- Bird is interrogated; Bunk meets Omar.
- Avon wants his corners.
- Marlo wants the crown.
BUCKEYES LEARN CIVIC PRIDE. Real Life Wednesdays are a known phenomenon around the Woody Hayes Athletic Center. But with Memorial Day looming next week, Urban Meyer debuted "Patriot Week" in order to instill the importance of voting in his team.
Because we're talking Meyer, it's something he's attacking with both fists.
From dispatch.com:
With Memorial Day coming up and in the midst of a remarkable presidential election campaign, Meyer has something special planned. He wants his players to appreciate not just the wars that were fought to maintain freedom but also, for example, the sacrifices and leadership that led to the Voting Rights Act of 1965 that made the ballot accessible to all, and to realize it’s the players' responsibility to be active, informed voters for whoever they choose.
“This is something that’s real,” Meyer said. “Everywhere I go, everybody seems mesmerized by this coming election. I’m mesmerized by it as well. ... We’re asked to walk in those high school gyms and punch a ticket, and I know that for years my dad told me to 'vote this way.' That’s not what we’re supposed to do.
“So we’re going to take this thing to the nth level, which we normally do around here.”
"Go vote" is the safest #take on the American political scale. I'm also dying at the thought of Mickey Marotti giving a lecture about the Continental Congress in lieu of his usual fiery sermon about pumping weights in repetitive motions.
Come to think of it, I would watch every episode of American History with Mickey Marotti and Kerry Coombs. Please, Ohio State video production wizards, heed my call. It would be a sensation.
THE TOUGHEST STRETCH. Ohio State's 2016 schedule is the toughest it's faced in years. This much is known.
It ends with a double–kill attempt over the state of Michigan. It will be the final hurdle of a potential playoff bid, but it's not the toughest stretch on the 2016 slate.
It starts with an Oct. 15 trip to Camp Randall in Madison.
From espn.com:
Ohio State has a huge nonconference clash at Oklahoma on Sept. 17, but the Buckeyes have already demonstrated that a high-profile game outside of the Big Ten isn't going to make or break title chances in the playoff era no matter the outcome. What truly counts is the league race, and the Buckeyes will find out relatively quickly if all those touted recruits are ready to contend for a title when they hit the road in consecutive weeks to take on Wisconsin and Penn State in two of the most hostile venues in the country.
Urban Meyer's club will then follow that up with a two-game homestand against contenders from the West, with Nebraska looking to rebound from a disappointing campaign and Northwestern then bringing in one of the toughest defensive units in the country. On paper, Ohio State should line up with a talent advantage in all four matchups and will almost certainly be favored, but particularly on the road, it will need to prove it can handle a bit of adversity.
If the Buckeyes can take care of that business then, they should enter those pivotal closing games at the end of November bursting with confidence and in control of their fate in the title chase. And then the fun will really begin in the East.
Madison is my favorite non-Columbus in the destination. Their fans are more original than Michigan fans, whose only taunts include "You like to do sex with men" and "You and I both got rejected from the Ivy League, but at least I applied."
I'd be more scared about that primetime trip if the Buckeyes weren't set to be blooded Week 3 in Norman, Oklahoma. That next week in Happy Valley under the lights is a shot to the kidneys, though.
Penn State hasn't been good since it held an offense led by Troy Smith, Santonio Holmes, and Ted Ginn to 10 points in 2005... but those people always summon some mystical juju whenever the Buckeyes roll to town. Of course the Nittany Lions are off the week prior too.
Northwestern has trap game written all over it, and Nebraska is always a wild card to pull 60 minutes out of its corn-fed asshole.
If the Buckeyes suffer a loss before this stretch, they'll need to weather it undefeated to stay in the playoff race. If it's undefeated, I think it could drop any of those games and be fine.
(Is it football season yet?)
SMOOTH JAZZ, BABY! Real people that I'm not creating as a rhetorical device have asked me, "What happens to Ohio State if, Warren G. Harding forbid, J.T. Barrett suffers another season-ending injury?"
My response is always, "The same thing that happened when Braxton Miller and J.T. Barrett went down. The next man on the depth chart will take his place."
Before Cardale Jones captured glory in the 2014 playoffs, it was Kenny "Smooth Jazz" Guiton that was the cool hand to Buckeye fans' brows whenever Braxton Miller missed time.
Guiton is now 24 and entering his second year as a Houston graduate assistant working with receivers.
From collegespun.com:
CS: It’s early and you’re still really young, but it becoming a head coach at some point the goal?
KG: I definitely wouldn’t mind being a head coach one day. Right now, I want to be a positional coach. That’s no secret or anything. My goal one day is to be an offensive coordinator. Right now I feel like if I become an offensive coordinator, I could so some things to excel and show programs around the country that I’m capable of being a head coach. But that’s so far down the road. My main objective is if I can get a position job, maybe one day become an OC and from there we’ll see.
CS: Is your graduate assistant position a two-year stint?
KG: I don’t want to say. I don’t want to put anything on record saying I’m only here for a year or two or anything. I’m all-in with Herman man. I love that guy. I love what he does in this program and I want to stick with him as long as I need to, whether it’s a positional job or whatever I need to do. I definitely want to be a positional coach with him but I don’t know a timetable. I just want to have fun with it and roll with it and see what comes.
[...]
CS: Speaking of wide receivers, one of your former teammates, Braxton Miller, is now a wideout for the Houston Texans. Have you guys talked at all since that happened?
KG: Yeah, definitely man. I’m in a group chat with him and like 20 of my other guys from O-State. I definitely had to hit him up and say congrats to him, now he’s coming to my city. I went up to his (city) for college and now he’s coming down to mine. And he’s wearing (my college number) 13, so I had to talk to him about that. But man, he’s so focused right now, I let him have his time to focus up. But yeah, our group chat, we talked a little bit and we talk personally (too). He’s telling me how training camp is going and soon we have to link up.
Sounds like MENSA founder Tom Herman has his offensive coordinator already on tapwhenever he rides to Columbus. (The way we've all anointed Herman as Urban's heir is going to lead to a riot when Greg Schiano succeeds him, isn't it?)
BELL USES OLD BUCKEYE #LIFEHACK. Under Urban Meyer, if players want to see the field they better perform on special teams—and enjoy it. As it turns out, it's a good way to get noticed by NFL coaches.
From neworleanssaints.org (via @NolaBuckeye):
“To me, the thing that really stood out is his ability to play specials teams, and his ‘want to’ to play special teams,” [New Orleans secondary coach Aaron] Glenn said. “A lot of times that tells you a lot about a player. They’re a starter – how do they operate on special teams? He made a lot of good tackles on special teams. That says a lot about who he was, a special teams guy and a starter on defense.
“Most guys that play on special teams, you already know what type of mentality they have. And if they play it for the amount of games that they play it, that’s a staple of who they are. You have to have a certain mentality to play on special teams and he has that mentality, which is good.”
Bell has that mentality in spades, for a simple reason.
“Special teams win games,” he said. “You’ve got to bring your kicking game, too, and I’m very willing to play that. I’m just learning every day.”
Meyer said last week Bell was a bad practicer when he came to Columbus. Looks like his good habits are continuing at the next level. Now he'll just need to take that into games to silence the pre-draft critics that knocked him for taking plays off.
MESS WITH A BOREN, GET THE HORNS. Earlier this week I highlighted a $5,000 theft from Boren Brothers Dumpster Rental. It took under a week to identify the suspects, and one of them is already in custody:
If you look into their eyes, you can hear their souls screaming "DON'T DO DRUGS." But stealing and neck tattoos are bad ideas too, folks.
THOSE WMDs. Controversial former fighter detained for raiding brothels and attacking prostitutes in Russia... Photos of sinkholes across the world... Google's self-driving cars will bury you in an empty lot after running over you... Mob burns man over $5 as Venezuelan justice fails... Michigan man arrested with gun, marijuana, and box of squirrels.
