We're currently entrapped in the offseason ennui where the 19th-century stickball sport is the only sports reprieve we have from our small, broken lives. As such, I offer this video of a fake robot scaring fast food workers:
HERE COMES MICHAEL JORDAN (NON-CRIER). When most people hear "Michael Jordan," they think of the bloated, crying internet meme that's ubiquitous whenever a loss is suffered.
But there is another kind of Michael Jordan... an offensive lineman that enrolled this January at Ohio State and is poised for playing time as a freshman.
From dispatch.com:
Meyer also expects junior college transfer lineman Malcolm Pridgeon, who begins classes at OSU Monday after graduating from Nassau Community College in Garden City, New York, to stir the pot. But for a freshman to contend to be one of three new regulars on the front line, well, that’s not the way it’s supposed to go.
“So that makes you feel two ways,” new OSU line coach Greg Studrawa said. “You feel a little unsettled because Michael is a young guy that should have just been going to his high school prom this past spring. But the other side of the coin is you’ve got a guy who’s a freshman who came here early because he wanted to be able to learn this system and try to play as soon as he can.
“Then you see that he’s got all the tools physically and mentally to compete so fast at this high level. So it’s exciting, and then it’s nerve-wracking a little bit. It’s a double-edged sword.”
Demetrius Knox and Matthew Burrell are two names I'd expect to crack the Slob rotation before Jordan, but it's significant it's the end of June and the Slob commander is still singing the freshman's praises.
I'd be disappointed if either of those two was beaten out. It'd be tempered, however, by the fact a freshman's play demanded playing time. If you play along either line as a freshman, you're a grown ass man who goes from 19 years old to 30 years old overnight.
LEE DOING WELL. Darron Lee, like Joey Bosa, remains unsigned. Bosa chose the holdout route with team minicamp; Lee chose to participate.
And while nobody doubted Lee's athleticism, he has also shown his ability as a professional to the Jets.
From nj.com:
"We kind of knew when we drafted him what type of athlete he was," said inside linebackers coach Mike Caldwell. "He's been a pleasant surprise. He's been picking things up well. What we saw on film, what we saw in college, he's been showing it."
What in particular has been a pleasant surprise for Caldwell?
"Just his professionalism," Caldwell said. "He comes into meetings and he's hungry to learn. Sometimes you see rookies that think they know it all. He's eager to learn and he's soaking it all up and the older guys are helping him. That's a surprising part of it."
NFL coaches take heed: If you want talented, humble players who will walk through fire for your team: Look no further than Columbus, Ohio. It's a one-stop shop for any position of need.
SOMEBODY PASS MY AVIATORS. What's great about being an Ohio State fan is "It's a damn fine time to be a Buckeye fan" could be applied to any multi-year stretch of the last 50 years.
No disrespect to the last 50 years but Ohio State could be riding a golden era.
From 247sports.com:
The Buckeyes' head man followed that class up by landing the nation's second-ranked class in 2013, his first full cycle at OSU, which helped them win the 2014-2015 national title and set records in this year's NFL Draft.
Keeping the train rolling, Meyer's 2014 group was ranked third in the nation, the 2015 group came in at seventh, and the most recent class, 2016, finished fourth, giving Ohio State a top-five class in four of the first five recruiting classes Meyer has been a part of.
And now, the Class of 2017 might be the best of them all. With the latest addition of five-star lineman Wyatt Davis, the group is currently ranked first in the nation, holding 14 members at the time this article was published, with an average rating of 94.73, which would be the highest of all time if Signing Day was today.
According to 247sports, Alabama has had the No. 1 recruiting class the last six years. Ohio State already broke the Tide off for a title, but it's now flying in its recruiting stratosphere.
It's also surreal to compare Ohio State's 2011 roster to its 2016 one, which is even more surreal when the 2016 NFL Draft exodus is taken into account.
Oh, and expect things to continue to roll. Ohio State's lead recruiter, who also happens to be the nation's best dual-threat quarterback, will be attending Friday Night Lights and you can bet he's encouraging the other elite targets on Urban Meyer's list to join him.
My family and I will in Columbus on July 22 for the Ohio State Friday Night Lights Camp! #GoBucks
— Tate Martell (@TheTateMartell) June 27, 2016
MORE PRAISE FOR EZEKIEL ELLIOTT. Ezekiel Elliott is already a Hall of Famer without ever playing an NFL snap. Over the weekend, fellow Hall of Fame running back LaDainian Tomlinson became the latest person to hype on the Zeke hype train.
From sportsday.com:
LT: Well they're getting a guy that can play all three downs. A guy that understands how to run between the tackles very well and he's explosive enough to get around the corner. Great balance, got great feet. Really good vision and I think he's going to be a workhorse for years to come. I mean, he could be the next great one in Dallas at the running back position. Tony Dorsett and Emmitt Smith are guys that I think about right away when you think about Cowboys running backs. Hopefully, he becomes the next one.
Question: It's a passing league, however, you saw what the Cowboys did in 2014 with Demarco Murray and that offensive line. It had a big affect on how they did the passing game with Tony Romo having one of his better years. So in an era where it's all about the passing, game, how can a strong running game still be effective in today's NFL?
LT: I think you create balance with the run game now. What I mean is, most teams they're going to have a little bit more passing than they do running nowadays because you got so many three and four wide receiver sets and a lot of teams don't use the fullback anymore, so that's not a running formation. But at the same time, you got to keep the defense honest. It's a simple game and you got to be able to run it a little bit. So if you have success running it, it doesn't matter how many times you do it, if you have success running it, it's going to open up things for the passing game. That's why, I think they probably won't run it as much as they did when Demarco Murray had all those carries, probably not. But I think they get somewhere in the ballpark of that number.
On Saturday, Ezekiel Elliott was already better than Adrian Peterson. Today, he's better than Emmitt Smith and Tony Dorsett.
Ezekiel Elliott is already the greatest running back in history, folks.
PRAISE FOR AN OHIO #TEEN. Sure, recruiting services rank teens that are talented on the football field, but where are the star ratings for a young entrepreneur like Cleveland's 14-year-old Daron Taylor?
His name is Daron Taylor.... Lives in Cleveland. 14 years old. #Respect #DaronTaylor pic.twitter.com/lNTLp6xDmm
— Raider_Nation (@Raiderfan_559) June 23, 2016
Times like this I wish I had a business to hire guys like him because he's obviously going further in life than I ever did.
THOSE WMDs. Business continues at Dayton drive-in theaters... Homer at the Bat, the episode that conquered primetime 20 years ago... Jack Daniels' secret ingredient: Help from an enslaved man... Confessions of a payday lender... The Cardinals lost their 35th game... Cynthia Ozick's long crusade... Business dissolves dead, drains liquid into sewer system.
