Skull Session: DaeSean Hamilton Compares Ohio State and Michigan Defenses, Mike Weber Still Perfect in Pass Blocking, and Kyle Kalis Issues New Prophecy

Let's attack this Wednesday like LeBron attacked this Kelly Oubre layup last night in the Schottenstein Center:

 MOAR BULLETIN BOARD MATERIAL. Folks, if you can believe it, it's been over a month since backup Oklahoma quarterback went on a program-sponsored show and declared Ohio State a "basic defense" which Baker Mayfield would "light up."

History won't remember Kendalldamus.

Last week, Wisconsin defensive backs coach Jim Leonhard called the OSU offense "simple but effective." He also praised Noah Brown before telling his DBs he had yet to see a defender play proper press technique on him. Brown ripped their heart out on a fade in overtime.

For this week in "Never-ending search for bulletin board material," we turn to Penn State wide receiver DaeSean Hamilton, who went for two receptions for eight yards and a touchdown against Ohio State in 2015.

From 97.1 The Fan reporter Lori Schmidt:

"They're a little bit athletic; and Michigan was a bigger defense, they're athletic as well. We don't really try to compare the defenses. They don't really do too many things that are similar from a game plan standpoint."

StateCollege.com reporter Ben Jones had the same quote as Schmidt. So it's curious how Penn State appears to have stricken that first sentence from the official transcript of the interview.

While it's also curious how Ohio State's defense is "a little bit athletic" whereas Michigan's is outright "athletic," I compared the vitals thanks to the lads at ourlads.com:

Well, give Hamilton this much: He wasn't wrong. Michigan's defense, on average, is three whole pounds heavier than Ohio State's.

You also know the Wolverines are the real deal by how many players weren't drafted by the NFL last year.

Add it all up, and it makes you think, for sure.

 MIKE WEBER: STILL BALLIN'. Ezekiel Elliott is destroying the NFL, which surprises nobody here. It would also appear he passed the legacy of pass blocking to Mike Weber, who is still perfect in protection this season:

Ohio State RB Mike Weber is having a very Zeke-like season pic.twitter.com/CxxV80nSyA

— CFB Film Room (@CFBFilmRoom) October 18, 2016

Urban Meyer and Tony Alford could probably find something in the film to knock a few points off that sterling '100,' but those critiques aren't going to come from me, the balding man with swift fingers and a laptop.

 THIS FELLA AGAIN? Kyle Kalis, a top Ohio offensive lineman in the 2011 cycle, originally committed to Ohio State. Tatgate, however, made him antsy (lol), so he switched to Michigan. He then issued a decree about the upcoming series with his home-state team:

"There will be blood on the field and it won't be mine. … Quote it. Let them know."

Counting his redshirt season in Ann Arbor, Kalis stands 0-4 against the local team. After admitting Ohio State is "always on his mind" Monday afternoon, Kalis issued a new decree Tuesday afternoon.

From my former Iuka Avenue roommate and current Toledo Blade reporter Kyle Rowland:

"A little part of me hoped [OSU would] lose, but I want them to make the game as meaningful as possible. When we get there, it's going to be a crazy atmosphere. It always is, but this year is turning out to be one to remember."

Yes, the Nov. 26 matchup will definitely be one to remember. It remains to be seen if it will be something he'll want to remember, though.

 MAN USES "DOUCHEY" IN PRESS CONFERENCE. UCLA went to Pullman, Washington, which is something I don't recommend. UCLA had a game to play, though, and decided to warm up on Washington State's side of the field (again).

UCLA left Pullman with a 27-21 loss. Cougars wide receiver Gabe Marks had some thoughts on the matter.

From @SWXLindsayJoy:

Gabe Marks' full comments on UCLA warming up on their side of the field (again). My favorite part: "I mean don't cut that, let's be honest." pic.twitter.com/rQJXR3H1Cc

— Lindsay Joy (@SWXLindsayJoy) October 18, 2016

This goes back to a Marionaire parable: Tough people don't act like they're tough. They'll just knock your teeth down your throat and go back to eating their gravel cereal soaked in malt liquor.

 THIS GUY GETS IT. Ohio State's campus is under construction (same as it was when I attended six years ago), which means students create shortcuts across the grass, which leads to dirt "cowpaths."

Ohio State wants it to stop (they put up signs, which all college students respect), but one student seems intent on winning a war of words.

From thelantern.com:

Samy Hassen, a fourth-year in computer science and engineering, said he walks across the “cow paths” instead of the sidewalk, citing the principle that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. He went on to call the paths “shortcuts” and expressed confusion in regards to the walkways being dubbed “cow paths.”

“What does that say about us?” he said. “Shortcuts definitely sound better, calling them ‘cow paths’ is a little degrading.”

Nicole Holman, spokeswoman for OSU’s Office of Administration and Planning, said her office, along with the Office of Student Life’s Disability Services and the departments of Transportation and Traffic Management and Public Safety, works to ensure that that official detours are compliant to the federal Americans with Disabilities Act, and encouraged their use over unofficial paths.

Who here as ever met anyone opposed to shortcuts? Sounds like Hassen has a future in #branding.

 THOSE WMDs. How the Petersen principals turned Washington around... Criminal hackers launch turf war over the Internet of Shit... How to foil a tech-support scam... The most appalling Zillow listing of all time... Missing man's Facebook comes alive and terrifies family.