XICHIGAN WEEK
Ohio State blows out Indiana, 38-15. Now, it's time to do the same to That Team Up North.
Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours. A quick reminder that there are couples out there with reservations to White Castle tonight. Who says romance is dead in 2014?
SCUMBAG BERT STRIKES AGAIN. Man, have I been taking a lot of shots at Bert Beliema lately. Yet, is there a more detestable figure in college football? I don't think so.
And in case you think I'm over-the-top with my loathing: remember that asinine NCAA rules committee proposal to allow a 10-second defensive substitution period on EVERY play? Turns out, Bert actually was the driving force behind the change.
Football Scoop has every scummy detail, but here's the money-shot on Bert:
A coach that's submitted legislation before and has been outspoken about formatting the game to fit his style - Arkansas was 118th in total plays in 2013 - is not on the rules committee but manages to get a seat behind closed doors with the committee.
I want to just pinch Bert's chubby cheeks and shake his fat head back and forth while yelling "Why do you make it so easy to detest you!?!!??!"
SULLINGER AND BURKE, BFFs FOREVER. Michigan coach John Beilein may have been trolled by Ohio State's pregame video, but Trey Burke and Jared Sullinger's life-long friendship transcends the nation's greatest blood-feud.
ESPN's Grantland ran a great profile on their friendship yesterday:
Today, Jared Sullinger and Trey Burke are at the earliest moments of promising NBA careers. The dual dream started in the Burkes’ basement when they vigorously competed against one another in any and every game they could imagine. “So much that it sounded like they were tearing up the house,” said Ronda Burke, Benji’s wife and Trey’s mother.
Their present is a manifestation of generations of basketball, each pushing a little bit further than the previous one. Finally the Burkes’ and Sullingers’ double fantasies have become a reality.
“You know what it takes because you’re familiar with the game,” Satch Sullinger said. “We weren’t novices at this game. We watched guys make it and we watched guys not make it. We didn’t realize what we were observing, but when it comes to your own, you try to give them your experiences, and because we were experienced in the game of basketball, we weren’t just stabbing in the dark. As boys, that’s what they wanted to do.”
Words beyond my petty grasp of the English language are the only ones capable of properly expressing how ecstatic I am Sullinger's body is holding up. Sure, he was injured his rookie year, but he has been balling during his sophomore campaign and was named to the NBA's Rising Star game. I hope it's a trend here to stay.
And I don't care what Michigan people say, they have to be lightweight salty Trey Burke is from Columbus. Seriously, where would Michigan's revenue athletic programs be without Ohio products? Would there even be a rivalry? Should we just consider the rivalry a civil dispute?
Really makes ya think, huh? Eat the bread everyone.
GREATER AUTONOMY IS ON THE WAY FOR POWER CONFERENCES. The NCAA as we know it is on its way out. The crypt-keepers see the writing on the wall, and they're just trying to wring the last couple years of paychecks out of their twilight years before retiring into the sunset. (Hate the game and not the player, right?)
Change — you know, the literally inevitable force that brought about the internet — is a'coming. From ESPN:
A seven-member steering committee with the NCAA's Division I Board of Directors is working to provide wealthier conferences with "a range" of autonomy -- namely the freedom to provide athletes the full cost of scholarships -- and hopes to have a new structure in place by August, said the board's chair, Wake Forest president Nathan Hatch.
... Hatch said he is confident change is imminent.
"It definitely will" change, he said. "Membership can vote it down, but this has been a huge process. ... The board last fall had a whole day of hearings. We've talked to coaches, students, athletic directors, big schools, small schools, the Knight Commission, faculty-athletic representatives, and I think we can craft a compromise that makes the board more nimble, more strategic, in some ways more like a confederation that allows big schools certain ways to expend some of their new revenue on behalf of student-athletes."
Chalk up another W for Jim Delany. I swear, this guy seems pretty sharp.
WUT IS A BEARCAT. An University of Cincinnati-affiliated infiltrator may have slinked into Ohio Stadium and poked a slumbering dragon with a stick, but yesterday was the first time I have thought about the University of Cincinnati since roughly 2002.
It made me realize I still had no idea what in tarnation a Bearcat was. Did you know they're actually called Binturongs?
Take it away, Wikipedia, the trove of 21st century knowledge:
The binturong (Arctictis binturong), also known as bearcat, is a viverrid native to South and Southeast Asia. It is uncommon in much of its range, and listed as Vulnerable by IUCN because of a declining population trend that is estimated at more than 30% over the last three decades.
Thomas Stamford Raffles first described a specimen from Malacca where it is called binturung. In standard Malay, it is known as benturung, and inRiau, Indonesia as tenturun.
The binturong is a monotypic genus. Its genus name Arctictis means ‘bear-weasel’, from Greek arkt- ‘bear’ + iktis ‘weasel’.
Of course. Of course another member of the weasel family is trying to bang with Ohio State. And of course they're damn-near an endangered species; Matt Hayes and Pat Forde will probably concern troll us in September when Urban Meyer and Ohio State push the Bearcats to the brink of extinction.
What a stupid name. Go back to your room, UC, and don't come back until you're ready to try harder. No, you can't have desert dessert either; daddy's pissed.
THOSE WMDs. Great, now Katy Perry has appropriated meth-head culture... Moderate NSFW: Happy Valentine's Day from True Detective's Rustin Cohle.... The salacious downfall of a Tiger Woods impostor... French WW1 soldier shaking hands with a kitten... Cup Noodles mascot forced to shovel... Gotta hear both sides tho... Be thankful Derek Jeter never decided to steal your girl in the club... The internet distilled into one image... Old pic of Marion's most legendary saloon is baller as hell... Ol Dude has been waiting on his McFlurry since 1796...
