Wisky, your coach. Woof. Welcome to the Conference Championship Weekend Recap. Normally, Ohio State would spend this weekend sitting back, puffing on a victory cigar, and waiting to find out who they'd face in a BCS bowl.
However, due to circumstances beyond their control (the brand-new existence of the Big Ten Championship Game) and not (the 6-6 record), they instead sat home and watched two other conference teams play each other for a trip to the Rose Bowl.
Frankly, Ohio State not being involved in the inaugural B1G title game is the equivalent of the Seinfeld pilot, which was absent of a character (Elaine) who would later become a significant part of the dynamic. But unlike that show, whose beginning failed to captivate anyone, Michigan State and Wisconsin gave us, by far, the most exciting conference championship game this season1. The follow-up to their matchup from October was a worthy sequel of that instant classic. Perhaps, and not only because of Gus Johnson's presence in the booth, it was even more entertaining than the original.
Mark Dantonio, whose taste in films is stuck in the early 1990s, gathered his team to watch Home Alone on Friday night. As he took notes from Kevin McCallister's bag of tricks, Bret Bielema was busy eating all the cheese pizza and trying to convince his squad of phlegm-wads that the creepy old neighbor is the South Bend Shovel Slayer.
Since there is no middle ground when it comes to Michigan State, the back-and-forth battle was only going to end in one of two ways: "Sparty, no!" or "SPARTY!!" Thanks to an acting tour-de-force from the Badger kicker Brad Nortman, Wisconsin avenged the Hail Mary loss, and we were forced to witness Bielema receive a Gatorade bath.
As, clearly, the nation's elite college football conference, no other championship could compare to the B1G's. LSU trolled everyone for the first half of the SEC title game before beating Georgia handily, and the Tigers will now head to the BCS national championship game, either in a rematch with Alabama or a meeting with Oklahoma State, who hasn't actually lined up against LSU yet this season and who humiliated #10 Oklahoma last night.
The Pac-12, whose conference championship game is also in its infancy, will send Oregon to Pasadena to take on Wisconsin after the Ducks defeated a now 6-7 UCLA team that somehow earned the right to participate.
Meanwhile, the ACC still plays football, I guess. Apparently, Clemson beat Virginia Tech for a bid to the Orange Bowl that three people will care about.
But, bowl games are all we have left of this college football season. As lackluster a year as it might have been, it's always hard to say goodbye. So now, it's time to reminisce over the weekend's action.
WISCONSIN 42, MICHIGAN STATE 39
In a high-octane matchup with plenty of jaw-dropping plays, Wisconsin took home the B1G trophy. Montee Ball's 7-yard run was the final touchdown of the game. His four TDS for the night, including a five-yard catch, gave him a total of 38 on the season2, one short of Barry Sanders' season record. Still, of his 137 yards, 105 came in the first quarter, and Russell Wilson (17/24 for 187 yards, 3 TDs) was awarded the MVP trophy.
Wisconsin looked unstoppable early on, taking a 21-7 lead in the first quarter, the second TD being set up by a 32-yard pass from Ball to Wilson. The Spartans soon came alive, and on a fourth down play, Kirk Cousins faked a pitch and hooked up with a wide-open B.J. Cunningham for a 30-yard TD. It was their first of three end zone connections. Cousins (22/30, 281 yards) was proficient through the air, and both Cunningham and Keshawn Martin recorded 115 yards receiving.
On the next MSU drive, Cousins found Badger heartbreaker Keith Nichol near the sideline, who Nichol-backed3 the ball to Cunningham for the TD. Dantonio, deciding it was time to toss some paint cans down the stairs, called for a fake extra point and holder Brad Sonntag trotted into the end zone for the two-point conversion. Le'Veon Bell (18 carries for 106 yards), who was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day, added another TD to increase Sparty's halftime lead to 29-21.
Down 39-34 with just over four minutes left in the game, the Badgers did not give up and were thirsty for more. Wilson threw up a prayer on 4th and 6, which a covered Jeff Duckman miraculously caught at the 7-yard line. Ball then ran in the TD, and Jacob Pedersen caught the two-point conversion. After Martin made a spectacular, but ultimately out-of-bounds, grab on third down, MSU punted on their next possession with three minutes remaining.
The Spartan defense held, thanks in part to LB Denicos Allen's career night (3 sacks, 4 TFLs, 9 tackles), and Martin's impressive punt return gave Michigan State the ball at the 10-yard line. Or, it would have if Isaiah Lewis hadn't been called for a roughing-the-kicker penalty. Even though the Wisconsin basketball team all nodded in a agreement, "that's a flop", the ref threw the flag, and the game was over. Sparty had Sparty'd.
Now, due to BCS insanity, Michigan State will once again be left out of a BCS bowl, this time because they dared to lose a close championship game while Michigan, who the Spartans easily beat, will probably jump over them and absurdly get picked for the Sugar Bowl, where hopefully, they will meet the embarrassing destruction they so deserve. Michigan, you're such a disease.
Wisconsin is off to the Rose Bowl for the second year in a row. You might as well call it the Bagers vs. the Ucks because there will be no "D" in that contest3.
LSU 42, GEORGIA 10
To complete their undefeated regular season, #1 LSU triumphed over Georgia in the Georgia Dome. Despite accounting for zero first downs in the first half, and trailing 10-7 at the half, Les Miles just shrugged and anyone who knows even a little bit about college football realized what was coming: LSU ripping off 35 straight points and cruising to victory.
Les Miles, just trolling alongTyrann Mathieu and his dazzling playmaking abilities, including a fumble recovery along with 119 yards on punt returns and a TD, earned MVP honors. Though it appeared that he tossed the ball away before reaching the goal line4, he snarled, "keep the change, ya filthy animal", and the refs did not review it. In case you hadn't heard, the [insert the name of Winnie the Pooh's favorite treat] + [insert Wisconsin's nickname] has nary a concern and seizes what he so desires.
Plagued by the dropsies, Georgia's early 10-0 lead could have been larger, not that it would have ultimately mattered. Bulldog QB Aaron Murray was appropriately SEC QB-esque (16/40, 163 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs), and LSU's Jordan Jefferson (5/13, 30 yards, 1 TD) was only slightly better, by default.
Besides the Sweetheart Omnivore, Alfred Blue and Kenny Hilliard did the heavy lifting for the Tigers. Between the two, the RBs totaled 166 yards and 4 TDs, one of which was an 8-yard reception by Hilliard.
Yet again, LSU will play for a national title in New Orleans. Georgia will most likely book a trip to the Outback Bowl against a B1G opponent.
CLEMSON 38, VIRGINIA TECH 10
For further proof that it was good day to be a Tigers fan, Clemson upset Virginia Tech for the ACC title. The one player in the entire conference that you've heard of, Tajh Boyd, was the game's MVP. His 240 yards and 3 TDs in the air through the air, plus another rushing score, justified the recognition.
Tied 10-10 at halftime, Clemson reeled off 28 unanswered points. Three of those TDs came in less than five minutes during the third quarter. RB Andre Ellington, who put up 125 yards rushing, accounted for one of them.
On the other sideline, the Hokies, what the French call "les incompetents", failed to overcome their multitude of blunders. QB Logan Thomas threw two picks and lost a fumble, and his team was penalized 9 times for 91 yards. Their OL could not keep the Tigers out of the backfield. The Clemson defense, which tallied 6 TFLs and two sacks, allowed ACC Player of the Year, RB David Wilson, only 32 yards on the ground.
For the first time in 30 years, Clemson secured the Orange Bow berth. For the first time in 20 years, they can claim an ACC championship.
Virginia Tech is slated, possibly, for the Chick-fil-A Bowl, which must not be played on a Sunday.
OREGON 49, UCLA 31
In the inaugural Pac-12 championship game on Friday night, Oregon managed to get the best of a powerhouse UCLA team. MVP LaMichael James toted the rock to the tune of 219 yards and 3 TDs. And yet, it was Nelson Rosario's one-handed TD grab that while inconsequential to the outcome of the game, was amazing enough to be the play of the evening.
The Bruins managed a few other highlights in Rick Neuheisel's last game as their coach. Linebacker Patrick Larimore picked off Oregon QB Darron Thomas in the first quarter and ran it all the way back for a 35-yard score. Bruin QB Kevin Prince hit Rosario on a flea-flicker TD to narrow the Ducks' lead to 21-14 in the 2nd quarter. That's as close as it would get again, because this was Oregon's house. They had to defend it.
Thomas threw for 3 TDs and Oregon forced four turnovers on their way to their third consecutive conference title.
Even with a losing record, UCLA could still receive a bowl bid. If not, they'll spend the holidays home alone.
- 1 As is the decree of any contest that ends with a 42-39 score.
- 2 *sigh*, two more than the Ohio State offense this season.
- 3 Sorry! Showing myself out...
- 4 Malcolm Jenkins approves.
