Tuesday Skull Session

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Skull Session.

Grand Theft Auto V comes out today, which means I and quite a few other people expect to suffer a 24 hour bug that'll require a sick day, recuperating at home in front of the TV. Don't want to contaminate the whole office, you know?

The game looks sensational, far less "dark and gritty" –make that blurry and juvenile– than GTA IV. If the reviewers are wrong again, at least there's the precious Saints Row series to fall back on.

To those planning to engage in virtual carnage –unless you're without power in NW Columbus, in which case you have my sympathy– enjoy after reading about Buckeye news and so forth.

 SPOTS REMAIN FOR THE TROUSERS SHINDIG. You may recall that we host this wildly popular event called Eat Too, Brutus. It's pretty great; in fact, it's so great that all tickets are sold out. Now there's no way to celebrate properly before the Wisconsin game next weekend, right? Wrong, convenient straw man! This year Eat Too, Brutus's sister event, the Gold Pants Social Presented by Eleven Warriors, is not sold out! 

The Gold Pants Social takes place on September 27th,  the Friday night before the game at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center, where you can hobnob with former Buckeye greats including Earle Bruce, Mike Tomczak, Craig Krenzel, Bobby Carpenter, Jim Cooper, Raymont Harris, Dan Wilkinson and Jim Lachey at a lovely dinner. Land Grant Brewing Company products will be on tap, and all proceeds go to the Gold Pants Club, financing those golden charms you're so used to seeing the Buckeyes win against Michigan.

So to recap: there's a great event going on that benefits OSU athletes, is 100% cool with the NCAA, and allows you to have an excellent dinner with former Buckeye greats. Sell us out, won't you?

 WHOA, DOUBLE QBS ALL THE WAY. One of the curious points from yesterday's Florida A&M press conference was the statement that Braxton Miller and Kenny Guiton would each get time in the backfield, namely in the same formation. The Plain Dealer elaborated some, but one bold strategy is the two quarterback zone-read system.

It's a strange offense, but it's one Louisiana-Monroe ran successfully against Baylor last year:

For more conventional strategies, the diamond formation is promising, and there's nothing wrong with splitting one of them out wide like past mobile quarterbacks have done.

The double quarterback zone-read system has two advantages: confusing the hell out of the opposition and forcing future opponents to spend practice time on defending it. For that reason, maybe bluffing about putting two quarterbacks on the field is enough; God knows the Buckeyes don't need it this Saturday.

Speaking of the Rattlers, they're 57 point underdogs. You may berate anyone you hear discouraging sleeping on Florida A&M.

 TERRELLE PRYOR SORE ABOUT DISASSOCIATION. After leading the Oakland Raiders to victory on Sunday, Terrelle Pryor had some sharp things to say about how he left Ohio State:

“That’s my school, but they don’t really accept me,” Pryor said. “I’ve moved on to what I have now, and that’s just football.” [...] "Those guys kicked me out of school after all those things I did for them,” Pryor said.

The indignation in his voice spurred a Raiders official to step in and cut off a question from a Dispatch reporter.

“Guy, we’re not going to talk about Ohio State right now,” said the Oakland official, sending Pryor out the locker-room door.

His frustration could have been catalyzed by Ohio State's game against Cal this weekend. Pryor could have bought a ticket for the game in the Bay Area, but OSU's disassociation forbids him from attending Ohio State games. Whatever the cause, Pryor has a point.

Pryor is a pariah, but his disassociation has been stricter than Jim Tressel's. Tressel is on show cause penalty for a few more years, but he appeared at last year's Michigan game and the 2002 team lifted him up on their shoulders. It's understandable how being forced to watch that on TV could sour a person.

Nevertheless, the wisest thing for Pryor to do is shut his mouth. The community has largely forgiven Maurice Clarett, who did more to hurt the football program than anybody since Art Schichter. It's only the people who keep screwing up like Schlichter and Ray Small who have burned their bridges to Columbus for good.

He doesn't have to preach love, peace, and joy, just keep quiet and let the bad memories fade. That he still wants the Buckeyes to succeed is a sign that the relationship could be mended someday.

 BO PELINI IS SORRY YOU VIOLATED HIS RIGHTS. Yesterday, a recording of Bo Pelini lambasting fans with some Rated-R language made its way onto the Internet. On Monday night, University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Harvey Perlman and Director of Athletics Shawn Eichorst offered an official response, expressing their disappointment and assuring the "dedicated and passionate fans and supporters" that they gave Pelini a talking to. If there was ever a sign that Pelini's tenure in Lincoln was in jeopardy, this is it.

Incredible though it may seem, Pelini is a sympathetic figure in this. Whoever made the recording violated Pelini's privacy, and if the person wasn't party to the conversation he or she also broke Nebraska law. Furthermore, releasing the tape now shows that somebody on the inner circle of Nebraska's program held onto the tape until a time when Pelini was vulnerable, after a twenty point loss to UCLA.

Though I'd like to see Pelini get another couple of years to determine if he can get over the hump, the atmosphere at Nebraska is poisonous. Call me crazy, but the situation has developed uncomfortable parallels to Rich Rodriguez's tenure at Michigan:

• Notable alumni (Tommie Frazier/Lloyd Carr supporters) voicing public, counterproductive frustration;
• Pelini/Rodriguez being treated as an outsider and lacking insiders' support;
• Pelini/Rodriguez demonstrating severe anger issues after losses;
• Pelini/Rodriguez berating fans;
• Horrible defense submarining a capable offense;
• Nebraska/Michigan fans having insanely high expectations and demanding better.

Though Nebraska's losses may be frustrating, they've won no fewer than nine games in each of the last five seasons, and Nebraska has won three division titles. Pelini is an introspective coach who deserves better than to be raked over the coals like this.

If fans really want Nebraska to fire Pelini after this season, you can be sure that they won't get their first choice for a new coach. There's an off chance that they could luck out and land a Jim Tressel or Brady Hoke, but those are few and far between.

More likely is that Nebraska loses its place as one of college football's elite. And if that happens, Nebraska ought to remove the plaques on Memorial Stadium that declare the fans that pass through its gates as the greatest in college football.

Happy Bo Pelini is adorable. Angry Bo Pelini is Red Hulk.

 THE SI SERIES GRINDS TO A HALT. The Sports Illustrated expose on Oklahoma State is at an end, and it's time to reflect on what it meant.

Sports Illustrated did not cover itself in glory with the series, but it finally arrived at saying something important yesterday: the problems that are going on at Oklahoma State are endemic to college football not because those places are awful but because collegiate amateurism produces those results.

This ought to be the thesis statement of the series. It's not. The thesis statement was the breathless press release that introduced the series and promised scandal through DRUGS and SEX and ACADEMICS and MONEY. It's no coincidence that each of those was dismissed, especially with Thayer Evans's ramshackle reporting.

By focusing on the humanity of players, The Fallout and the accompanying response to the blowback could have been meaningful without Parts I-IV. Instead, institutional arrogance wasted the whole thing.

 OSU IN THE 2014 HOCKEY CITY CLASSIC. With its spiffy new men's hockey conference assembled, the Big Ten announced the televised schedule and Ohio State announced its full schedule. Ohio State will play in at least thirteen televised games in 2013-2014, including eight on national TV. A number of games will be Friday night doubleheaders, which should pair up well with weekend basketball this winter. 

The Big Ten calls those Frozen Fridays, and Ohio State will be part of one for the biggest game of the season: on January 17th at 9 PM, Ohio State will play Minnesota in the 2014 Hockey City Classic. Like other winter classics, it will be played outdoors, in Minnesota's TCF Bank Stadium.

That game will be a hot ticket: other hot tickets include Ohio State's home games against Michigan on Dec. 2nd and March 2nd.

 LINKS AHOY. Chris McCandless's death: solved... Just say no to VT's football camo... I'd make fun of the Bills for this, but unlike the Brownies they've tasted victory in 2013... Lou Holtz could give Pelini a run for his money... Give him hell, T. Boone Pickens... Minnesota fans violently disagree with analyses of Jerry Kill's seizures... Pretty depraved, Mike the Tiger... A spinebuster worthy of Arn Anderson... A rare bit of men's volleyball NCAA scandal... Why Johnny Manziel is a non-candidate for Heisman... Just in case you wanted to revisit Cal schadenfreude... Don't traumatize your kids with these toothy dolls... and it's official, no fanbase is exempt from fairweather fans.