It’s Michigan week; a time for hate, disdain and shameless trolling. So, we’ll do what our forefathers intended and make fun of Devin Gardner.
You see the Wolverines have a wide receiver playing quarterback (again), and that’s exactly what he looks like. In words, he's struggling. Five months ago, Gardner was a much more confident wide receiver playing quarterback. In fact, he was so sure of himself he promised a win against the Buckeyes in Ann Arbor.
Take it away Devin:
"We always have room for improvement, but this is definitely a championship-caliber football team that will win in the 'Big House' against Ohio State," Gardner said. "We don't feel like we're inferior to anyone in the country."
Of course I’m sure he meant we don’t feel like we’re inferior to anyone in the country with the exception of Penn State, Michigan State, Nebraska and Iowa. So, to celebrate Gardner’s bold claim, I thought it would be appropriate to memorialize the five best-worst things he's done on the football field since making that boast.
#5 Uconn: Lost The Handle
Coming off a narrow 28-24 escape against Akron, the Sun and Blue traveled to Connecticut to take on the mighty Huskies. Everyone knew it would be a tough game, as UConn was coming off a scintillating 5-7 2012.
For the second straight week, the Wolverines found themselves in a dog-fight against a cupcake. Down 14-7 to start the third quarter, Devin decided it would be a great idea to fumble the football at his own 34-yard line. This was the result:
Well done Devin…well done. Eventually the Wolverines were able to eek out a win. Luckily for Brady Hoke and company the victory only looked better as the season continued with the Huskies tallying an impressive 1-9 record.
#4 Penn State: Temporarily Goes Blind
Despite looking pretty terrible against some really bad football teams, Devin and the boys were 5-0 heading into Happy Valley. That would change after a four overtime game in which Gardner threw a pair of INTs. Here is the second of those picks. A lot of people ask me, “Jeff what makes this pick so special? After-all, Devin throws one of those every week." Well my friends, this one holds a special place in my heart because it’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma. No matter how many times I watch it, I can’t figure out how Devin didn’t see the 6’4’’ 258 lbs lineman standing 5 feet in front of him.
Oh Devin.
#3 Akron: Turnover Machine
As aforementioned, the Wolverines got everything they could handle against Akron. It’s understandable. The Zips are averaging an eye-popping 19.2 points a game, coming in at 114th in the nation!
Even more impressive is the rate at which Devin turned the ball over, throwing 3 picks and fumbling once. Here are two of those derps:
#2 Iowa: Pocket Picked
At No. 2 we have Devin’s most recent disaster. Down 24-21 to Iowa late in the fourth quarter, Gardner took off to the left and gained eight yards before he met Anthony Hitchens who did his best Maurice Clarett impression. Devin Gardner: not a huge fan of ball-security.
#1 Notre Dame: Exactly How Hoke Drew It Up
Last but certainly not least we have one of Devin’s finest moments. This play is so bad it almost appears he’s trying to be this terrible. Starting at his own 15 yard line, Gardner takes the snap then begins to retreat aimlessly into the back of the endzone. With a defender around his ankles and one closing in to deliver the finishing blow, Gardner tosses the ball blindly into the Ann Arbor sky. ALWAYS A GOOD DECISION.
Never change Devin. Never change.
