The worst part about Ohio State losing to Penn State is having to pay a modicum of interest in the rest of the Nittany Lions' season. Usually after the Penn State–Ohio State game, Buckeye fans talk about the playoffs and Penn State fans look for agreeable Pinstripe Bowl packages.
But not this year! Thanks to James Franklin somehow outwitting Urban Meyer (and his team outplaying OSU in both trenches), Buckeye fans now have a stake in the rest of Penn State's season.
Thanks to Pitt, if Ohio State wins out it will play either Wisconsin or Nebraska in Indianapolis for the Big Ten title.
However, things would be much easier if Penn State just loses another game, a scenario that can't be ruled out for any Franklin-coached team.
So let's don our hater's monocles and glance at the rest of the PSU schedule.
AT PURDUE (OCT. 29TH)
Few places on Earth are as intimidating as West Lafayette on a fall Saturday at noon. Sure, it usually ends with Purdue Pete's broken corpse burning in a pyre at the 50-yard line, but the Boilermakers have pulled mystical upsets in the past. (Terrelle Pryor's four turnovers in 2009 still haunt me.)
And is the stage not set for a mystical upset? Penn State coming off the biggest win of the Franklin tenure and somehow has to get up to play a noon banger in rural Indiana?
The problem: Purdue is bad. Like, even for Purdue. I watched Purdue–Iowa earlier this year. It was like watching a Cleveland Browns intrasquad scrimmage without the accompanying mental illness that makes me a Browns fan.
It's also coached by a guy hired by Darrell Hazell.
Much like Michigan–Michigan State, I want to believe in the upset. I just don't see it.
CHANCE of PENN STATE LOSS: 13%
IOWA (NOV. 5TH)
When whoever decides the annual "white out" game looked at Penn State's 2016 schedule, how long do you suppose it took them to roll with Ohio State at 8 p.m. instead of Iowa at 7:30? It was instant.
If Purdue can't pull the upset, Ohio State fans' interests will ride on a guy who gets paid millions of dollars to coach football. Unfortunately, that man is Kirk Ferentz.
This man gets paid many millions of dollars to coach football. pic.twitter.com/fiTU50BYVu
— MakeIowaAwesomeAgain (@PV_GIA) October 22, 2016
Iowa just extended him too, because the Hawkeyes see this era as the apotheosis of Hawkeye football. Why wouldn't we take them at their word? And why would we put anything but false hope on this team to condemn Penn State to the Outback Bowl?
CHANCE of PENN STATE LOSS: 12%
AT INDIANA (NOV. 12TH)
Time TBD.
Hopefully another high noon banger, but it would be hilarious to watch a night game under the candlesticks of Memorial Stadium.
If Penn State survives the daunting gauntlet of Purdue and Iowa, it could be ranked in the Top 15.
Expectations change teams, and Indiana is a true chaos team. It's capable of torching Penn State but it could also lose a 10-4 contest. I refuse to predict one way or another; the Hoosiers always manage the opposite.
Still, watching Indiana students rush the field after the biggest win of Kevin Wilson's tenure would be a poetic anecdote to the pains of witnessing Penn State's celebration.
CHANCE of PENN STATE LOSS: 43%
AT RUTGERS (NOV. 19TH)
Say, old chap, could I interest you in a November night at beach-front property in Piscataway, New Jersey?
Good lord, I may send some prayer shawls to Chris Ash by this point in the season. The highlight of his team's initial Big Ten campaign is a two-point road loss to Minnesota.
A ~$1.5 million pay raise sounds grand until Michigan and Ohio State nuke your team back to the stone age to send a powerful message to talented area #teens.
Rutgers is off this week before hosting Indiana before Penn State comes to town. There's no reason to think Rutgers wins a conference game this season, despite past coaching goofs by Franklin.
CHANCE of PENN STATE LOSS: 3%
MICHIGAN STATE (NOV. 26th)
Time TBD.
Michigan State is bad this year, but it's beating one of Michigan, Ohio State or Penn State.
Who among us can't see the Spartans, after weeks of huffing disrespect ether out of empty Faygo two-liters and losing hard-fought contests to the Buckeyes and Wolverines, strolling into Beaver Stadium and stripping everything Nittany Lion fans hold dear?
Regardless of the outcome, I fear this contest could set Big Ten offense back six years.
CHANCE of PENN STATE LOSS: 59%
OvERALL
Extremely high.
Remember, Penn State going undefeated would be an era of prosperity under James Franklin unseen since it consecutively beat Rutgers, San Diego State, Army, and Indiana in 2015. PSU finished that season 7-6.
So which is the more likely scenario: Franklin power up or a regression to the mean? Even PSU fans, deep down, know the answer to that.
CHANCE of PENN STATE LOSING at LEAST ONE GAME: 89%
