Because Michigan lost to Michigan State 14-10 this past weekend, everything after the end of the next sentence is going to be pretty dire for Michigan fans (and thus, funny for us). So before everything goes to hell I should mention that it's pretty cool that Jim Harbaugh is a good dad; good for him and all the other good dads out there.
Now here's several pictures of the monsoon that Michigan and Sparty had to play in on Saturday. Here's what it was like to be John O'Korn. Here's the BTN meme'ing the hell out of Wolverine fans. Here's the exact moment when the heart of every Michigan fan ripped in half. Here are a few more memes of the Crying Jordan variety. Here's O'Korn falling backwards for no reason. Here's our friend Kyle pointing out that Brady Hoke was honest-to-goodness doing better than Harbaugh is at the same point in the UM careers. Here's 11W's own Barf, doing what he does best.
And finally, here's an eternal .gif that pretty much sums up the entire debacle:
Throw this GIF into the hall of fame pic.twitter.com/R6CVba6e3j
— Philip Lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) October 8, 2017
THREAT LEVEL
Michigan isn't a very good football team. The end. They continue to have an excellent defense, but that really ends up meaning pretty much jack and squat if your quarterback throws three interceptions, your wide receivers drop passes, and your running game, which was assumed to be a relative strength, gets almost completely stymied.
Let's start there, actually. Running back Karan Higdon had an okay game! And that's it. Hidgon is... fine, and that's about all that Michigan is going to get from him. 8-12 carries, 50-70 yards, let's all go home and take a nap. Every other running back Harbaugh rolled out there, including the semi-hyped Ty Isaac (who not only had a garbage game running the ball but also lost a fumble), did absolutely nothing to help their cause.
O'Korn, of course, was terrible. The ridiculous conditions give him and his receivers somewhat of an excuse for their performances, but completing just 16 of 35 passing attempts for less than 200 yards and turning the ball over three times is a recipe for disaster. Those hoping for a Speight return are going to be sorely disappointed, because he is now officially out for the rest of the year.
And you know what? I'm not going to let the defense off the hook, either. They were generally great, but while Sparty managed to sack O'Korn four times, the Michigan defense didn't get to quarterback Brian Lewerke even once or manage to create any turnovers, despite the game being a shot-for-shot remake of The Poseidon Adventure.
All of this is very bad, and adds up to a bunch of different reasons why a top ten team could lose a rivalry game at home, even coming off a bye week. Coming up next for Michigan is Indiana, and while they should be able to bounce back with a win against the Hoosiers, until they do the Threat Level: Michigan advisory board has decided to drop our warning status to LOW.
