The number one team in the country played an away game against an unranked opponent and won comfortably.
Wild stuff, right? The undefeated consensus top team in America lazily beating a C-tier squad with the 127th ranked offense in college football by the score of 38-17 isn't exactly headline stuff. Hell, Ohio State fans generally bemoan games like this, because they are our out of conference September Ambien and we've seen way too many of them.
Michigan fans have too, but the reason for their wailing and gnashing of teeth is that they never expected themselves to be on the losing side of one of these games. Or, at least, didn't expect themselves to be speed bump fodder quite so soon after a national championship win.
That's basically what Saturday's game was for the Ducks. They rolled into the Big House, racked up a 28-10 lead at halftime, and then coasted the rest of the way. To Michigan's credit, they didn't give up and even briefly made things interesting after scoring a touchdown on their first drive of the second half. The Wolverines almost made things even more interesting in the 4th quarter, when they drove all the way to the Oregon 15 to potentially make it a one score game.
Then offensive coordinator Kirk Campbell dialed up some hot garbage and the drive died, but hey: it isn't a good football team. That's what happens.
I acknowledge that it's easy for me to be blasé here because I actively want to see Michigan fail and think it is very funny when they do so.
And as I keep trying to remind everyone, this Michigan team really isn't that terrible, and the reasons why they're actually as not-good as they are seemed pretty obvious to me from the jump.
What're the proper expectations here? Should Michigan fans scream at the sky, rending their shirts asunder while cursing the name of Sherrone Moore? Or should they just show up for karaoke and dip, just enjoying what they can before pretending to care about basketball?
See, I think the student section has the right attitude.
SHERRONE MOORE! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!
Losing is a group effort, and repeated losing suggests more systemic issues that can't be fixed with One Crazy Trick. Which is funny because for most of this season, Michigan fans and Sherrone Moore have kind of been on the same wavelength here: Moore harbored the belief that repeatedly spinning the quarterback roulette wheel would magically fix everything wrong with his team, whereas the fans simply want his ass fired to accomplish the same result.
There are some things that are working here. Davis Warren is fine! He's not great (12/21, 164 yards and 2 TDs against Oregon), but he also hasn't turned the ball over once since becoming Michigan's fourth option at quarterback (two QB's removed after being Michigan's first), and he can even make some nice throws occasionally! Alex Orji is finally being implemented in the running game, to moderate success! Donovan Edwards has been competent! Uh... Colston Loveland exists! Mason Graham is a god damn wrecking ball!
These are all objectively at least okay things about Michigan football. Other things are not okay.
Running back Kalel Mullings appears to have hit a giant brick wall metaphorically, before hitting a giant boom camera literally, totaling just 34 yards on 21 carries in the last two games. The receiving corps remains lost in space, contributing next to nothing on a weekly basis. Star cornerback Will Johnson has been out for several games with an apparent business decision injury (side note: who the hell knows how hurt the dude actually is but also nobody should fault him for prioritizing his health and potentially millions of NFL dollars). An offensive lineman got hurt on a kickoff, somehow. Both the offensive and defensive coordinators are trying to learn what works on the fly to mixed success. And so on.
Last three plays of that drive:
— Anthony Broome (@anthonytbroome) November 2, 2024
3 yard Alex Orji run on 2nd and 10
2 yard Kalel Mullings rush on 3rd and 7
Whatever that was?
THREAT LEVEL
Watching Michigan fans trying to decide if they're spiraling down the toilet or twirling their way towards freedom on a game to game basis has been extremely entertaining, but we have now reached the point in the season where it stops being cute schadenfreude and starts being an annoying amount of static in the background of me trying to figure out how to emotionally prepare myself for The Game.
That is essentially all Threat Level is, but I would feel a lot more settled if Michigan could pick a lane and stay there. Getting blown out by Indiana would be a positive step towards me finally being able to set the Threat Level at LOW as I ride off into the sunset, cackling and throwing up the double birds as I Thelma and Louise my Honda Civic off a cliff.
But this "look competent every third drive" crap has got to stop for me to do so, and I still can't shake the paranoia that Michigan is getting slightly better week to week. That'll keep them at GUARDED, but Coach Cigs might be able to change the calculus next Saturday.
Header photo: Junfu Han / USA TODAY NETWORK via Imagn Images
