Everyone in Florida knows that Santa delivers gifts to us last because it's warmer down here. He winds up his travel down here, dons some casual wear and grabs a quick 18 holes of golf, beginning his 364-day retirement until his next Christmas trip. Well, it's 25 degrees down here and my fireplace is roaring. 

I was awakened at 5:00 this morning to the dog barking and cursing coming from the living room. Santa didn't expect a blazing fire in my chimney and must have burnt his scarlet butt in his descent. I'm trying to quiet the dog and outside "there arose such a clatter" on the roof that I had to rush outside to check it out.

I throw on a coat and run outside only to see gifts scattered all over the lawn. Santa must have just chunked them out of the sleigh in anger. I look up to see a sleigh and reindeer taking off with Santa still slinging @1#*& words as he left.

I grab a ladder, get on the frozen roof only to see reindeer poop piled up in one spot. Apparently, one of the team decided to leave me a "present" this year. Nothing worse than cleaning frozen reindeer droppings off your roof on Christmas morning! Thanks a lot Blitzen!!  Merry Christmas all!