What’s up 11w community? Even though we are brought together by this forum on the internet, somehow I feel a sense of peace here. I have posted some vulnerable stuff, like when a buddy I knew in college two years before me was killed walking back to his dorm. RIP TM. But looking for advice, really. Helpful thoughts, etc.

in the midst of a separation that will likely be official in the next month. It was hard at first because I felt like it came out of left field, but looking back I could see the signs stacking up. I am not looking back anymore though, that shit ain’t helpful. No animosity, no hatred. But it’s tough. I spent a good couple weeks In almost breakdown mode, not eating, struggling at work, scared about the future. But then Something happened. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I stopped looking backwards and decided it was time to focus on my next chapter. I lost about 15 pounds in two weeks, had a couple near panic attacks, never had those before, couldn’t sleep for a few days, etc. but then I started doing new things.

reading and practicing Yoga, looking at new perspectives, getting myself healthy in physical, emotional, and mental states. We have a beautiful little girl, and what gives me peace is that even though if we were not meant to be together forever, we came together and brought that little gem into this world for a reason. That thought allows me to keep moving forward with a purpose. 
 

any thoughts or advice on dealing with something this extreme? I started going to therapy and realized that I am the way I am because of two major things: my relationship with my father, and some f*cked up sh*t that happened to me as a kid that I suppressed for thirty years. Pretending it never happened, or continuously pushing it down if it started creeping back up. I started going to therapy to just talk, and going over those two scenarios was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, it was unbelievable.

not sure why I am writing this here, but you all feel like a safe community that I have been a part of since 2011. My focus is on me and my daughter. My new chapter can consist of whining and complaining or purpose and reason. I choose the latter.

God Bless you all, go Bucks, and hope you all are doing well.