You may find that work, school, or other obligations keep you from focusing on Twitter the way you should. Thankfully for you, I'm able to tune out those distractions and provide you with a weekly rundown of the best tweets from around campus.
Alrighty. So we're in late July where absolutely nothing — followed by even more nothing — happens. Here at Eleven Warriors, we try very hard to give you the premium content you pay top dollar for, but sometimes there's just nothing to talk about. There's nothing we can do about that. Thankfully, no matter how dry yesterday was for Buckeye news, we have you covered today with some artfully crafted and trollfully-delicious Tweets.
When you start to lose hope during the painfully boring off-season, rest assured I will always be here (with the exception of that one time I made D.J. do this instead) to give you a weekly rundown of the one tried-and-true thing in our lives: Twitter.
Let's get to it.
All honesty tho, I can live off chipotle
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) July 23, 2015
man I'll be 280
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) July 23, 2015
So... What are the chances Cardale makes he switch to guard and just ends #QBgeddon this week?
#GrowingUpAnAthlete you always got picked first in gym
— Johnnie Dixon (@MakeHistory_JD) July 17, 2015
My agent sent me a swag bag. It's like 200 things. Having a field day over here pic.twitter.com/qEOgVkoKxQ
— Mike (@mike96bennett) July 21, 2015
So many random things. But so many awesome things.
— Mike (@mike96bennett) July 21, 2015
Yes, hi. I would like an agent please. How does one go about acquiring one of those?
I swear college professors can do whatever they want... My professor just left for the summer and isn't teaching the class anymore ???
— Kyle Berger (@K_Bergs) July 23, 2015
When in doubt go with Chipotle
— Mike Thomas (@Cantguardmike) July 21, 2015
Bibibop*. It trumps all. I honestly do not know why so many people are still so hype on Chipotle. It's good, there's no denying that. But it's been like 3 years since it hit peak white girl. It's time to move on.
My girlfriend fell asleep and I just learned she sleeps with her eyes open. That's terrifying. When I move my head, they follow me
— Mike (@mike96bennett) July 24, 2015
It's actually kinda cool.
— Mike (@mike96bennett) July 24, 2015
They're not wide open people. Just barely open. But still. And this is the last update of her sleep habits. Mind your own business Twitter
— Mike (@mike96bennett) July 24, 2015
My favorite part about this series of tweets is when they were tweeted. Mike rattled these off right in the middle of #BraxtonMeltsTwitter2k15, meaning he was either totally oblivious to what was going on, or he just didn't care. In either case, hilarious.
Also, what was Joey Bosa doing when the news broke?
Pulp Fiction for the 1000th time
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) July 24, 2015
Solid choice.
#GrowingUpAnAthlete.. after killing you in conditioning, every coach be like " Get off yo knees, ain't no air down there"
— Erick Smith (@RestUpBoog) July 18, 2015
That #Zone6 lifestyle just got real real! @CoachZachSmith
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) July 24, 2015
JT Barrett: "I um...I'm gonna be a lineman"
— The Fake Lantern (@TheFakeLantern) July 24, 2015
Honestly, it only makes sense.
Anxious for the season...#BuckeyeNation
— JaQuan Lyle (@JMamba13) July 18, 2015
When workouts are done for the week https://t.co/ozcK9L3Nwg
— Joey Burrow (@Joe_Burrow10) July 17, 2015
Finally got a chance to sit down and relax and watch the National Championship Game, still got chills
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) July 19, 2015
Shockingly, I've only watched it once since it happened. My go to is usually the Sugar Bowl or the B1G Championship.
@Birm @nbsmallerbear best decision I've ever made.
— Stephen Collier (@S13Collier) July 23, 2015
#GrowingUpWithMyName "can you spell that last name for me?"
— Sean Nuernberger (@Sean4Heisman1) July 19, 2015
@jjones_74 bassin' pic.twitter.com/Yy8DckjNpF
— Brady Taylor (@beTaylor79) July 22, 2015
I have no real caption for this, but this is FAN-TASTIC.
Getting my wisdom tooth pulled in 2 hours!
— Torrance Gibson 6 (@quick_tg6) July 17, 2015
Nervous! My tooth never did anything to anyone
— Torrance Gibson 6 (@quick_tg6) July 17, 2015
I'm still alive... What wisdom tooth? pic.twitter.com/Ko6lxQcGbH
— Torrance Gibson 6 (@quick_tg6) July 17, 2015
Oh yeah, when I said last week that getting your wisdom teeth taken out really isn't that bad, I forget to mention that the drugs REALLLLY get to you. Oh well. He knows now.
Zeke's birthday
20 is kind of a useless birthday, but it's significantly less useless than like, 43 (hope I didn't hit a nerve with anyone there). So let's celebrate.
It's my birthday
— EzekielElliott#15 (@EzekielElliott) July 22, 2015
still have 59min here in STL. you were born in central time! LOL https://t.co/alSJ45OWfN
— Dawn (@itz_mizdee) July 22, 2015
Smile @EzekielElliott... it's your 20th birthday! pic.twitter.com/QB19u3FWPj
— Dawn (@itz_mizdee) July 22, 2015
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY PUJEE!! LOVE YOU BIGGER THAN THE WHOLE DAMN SKY!!! pic.twitter.com/U1jdCmEKhV
— Dawn (@itz_mizdee) July 22, 2015
I sure do miss this little guy. Where did 20 years go so quickly? pic.twitter.com/GbzIRbwfNq
— Dawn (@itz_mizdee) July 22, 2015
@EzekielElliott Happy Birthday Mimi Boy!! Let the party begin!! Love you more every year. pic.twitter.com/rRtcmmUevo
— Patti (@mommala728) July 22, 2015
The students are very excited to wish City Academy alumnus, @EzekielElliott, a very happy birthday! pic.twitter.com/TGrQNMQ0NG
— City Academy STL (@CityAcademy) July 22, 2015
joey's off-season grind
Cavani you dog pic.twitter.com/TOHX3DE7OT
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) July 17, 2015
You see, having already mastered football, Joey spent the summer getting very good at FIFA.
I love you Ibra pic.twitter.com/Q7I26wpAMF
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) July 17, 2015
But clearly not good enough...
Still can't get to div 1
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) July 17, 2015
Fear not Buckeye Nation, Joey Bosa is no quitter. He's going to put in all the necessary time and work to get better. He'll get to Division 1. Mark my words. #TheGrind
Wanna go hang out with my friendssss but then again...... FIFA
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) July 17, 2015
THAT is the kind of dedication we have come to expect. #NoDaysOff
I lied guys I have no friends
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) July 17, 2015
On a serious note: if you read this and even THOUGHT about tweeting back "I'll be your friend!" deactivate your account please. There's no room here for that kind of thirst on Buckeye Twitter.
Dolodale ends a man
Since context is missing, here's what happened: this dude, we can assume his name is Dan, read Cardale's tweets on a some social issues and decided he just absolutely had to tweet at Dolodale and give him some advice. The problem? Dan's a dick, and his advice sucked. He said: "worry about getting us fans another championship..... Stay out of this bullshit."
Cardale did not like that...
@DanGustafson1 Sorry Mr master, I aints allow to tweet nothing but foolsball stuff I donts want you think I more than a foots ball playa sir
— Cardale Jones (@CJ12_) July 23, 2015
The dude deleted his account. He's done. Wisconsin'd, if you will. Dolodale literally ended this dude's Twitter career.
I call what 12 said today #whenkeepingitrealgoesright
— Tyvis Powell (@1Tyvis) July 23, 2015
And he got parental support. You just love to see that.
this week's winner of twitter
Just wanted to let everyone know I'm committed to THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY !!! pic.twitter.com/XZNcjRPHbQ
— Nick Bosa (@nbsmallerbear) July 23, 2015
This tweet almost single-handedly nuked our site for 45 minutes. It wins. I don't care if any of you think otherwise.
Follow Friday:
- Do you guys follow me? @Kevinish Note: under no circumstances should you ever follow me. It will without doubt be the single worst decision you have ever made in your life. I have provided a link to my account simply so that you can block and/or mute me as to never allow my tweets to accidentally seep onto your timeline.
- Jeremy Birmingham @Birm If you somehow are not, you should be following the best recruiting guy in the game today. I don't say that because I work here and I'm obligated to, I say it because it's true. Birm is genuinely the best there is and it's a pleasure to work with and learn from him. Give him a follow today, especially as he tirelessly covers the Friday Night Lights camp tonight.
- Eric Seger @EricSeger33 Eric, our beat writer extraordinaire, will also be out there providing great coverage of tonight's camp. You should follow him. Also, you should tweet at him and tell him that his twitter handle is awesome. He loves hearing that.
