Skull Session: Donald Washington's Last NFL Venture, ESPN to Jettison Cris Carter, and Jim Tressel's Last Halftime Speech

On-air TV power rankings, May 10:

1. Game of Thrones
2. The Americans
3. Peaky Blinders

As always, rankings are final. Thank you.

 WASHINGTON STILL IN THE GAME. Athletes younger than me no longer phase me. At 29, I'm more shocked by athletes my own age—especially those on the gridiron.

I rarely drink anymore because the hangovers are too unbearable. Just reading about somebody my age competing in the NFL makes my intestines curl up like a cat in search of a nap.

And yet... Donald Washington, 29, is out here trying to do the damn thing. After spending the last couple years in the CFL, Washington tried out for the Steelers this past weekend during their rookie mini-camp.

From triblive.com:

“The more you can do, the longer that you can kind of hang around,” Washington said. “I kind of take it as a compliment. They can see me as an either/or. I have played all over the secondary, so I am not uncomfortable anywhere.”

Even if this is his last shot at the NFL, Washington said he never will give up his dream.

“Anything you are passionate about you shouldn't give up,” he said. “They will probably have to break all my limbs to say I am done.”

The Steelers, who could use experience in the defensive backfield, expected to see professionalism from Washington. He satisfied their expectations, as the Steelers signed Washington to their 90-man roster on Monday. Let's hope this comeback tale doesn't end with the Steelers breaking Washington's legs.

It's no guarantee he'll be on the roster when Pittsburgh opens its vile 2016 campaign in Washington on Monday, Sept. 12. Whether he makes the team or not, I'll always remember him for his 2008 fumble return against Michigan State where he toppled 11W's former beat writer, Kyle Rowland:

"Donald Washington going the other way with a convoy!" is seared into my brain because of that. I also need people to repeat their phone number to me three times when entering it into my phone. The wonders of the (subpar) human mind, baby!

 CRIS CARTER OUT. ESPN is a corporate behemoth undergoing some belt-tightening. As such, the Worldwide Leader is reorganizing its NFL coverage.

Mike Ditka, Trent Dilfer, Ray Lewis, and Cris Carter are on their way out. 

From thebiglead.com:

ESPN’s NFL coverage will look dramatically different next year. Our site already reported that Mike Ditka is out from his Countdown gig (though will remain with the network in an emeritus role), and that Matt Hasselbeck and Charles Woodson are on their way in.

Trent Dilfer has also been widely reported to be leaving Bristol. In addition to this, The Big Lead has learned that Cris Carter and Ray Lewis are also expected to be on their way out, and that Randy Moss is expected to be on his way in. Moss spent last season at Fox Sports, appearing on the pre show that pitted him in debates with Colin Cowherd.

As far as people in my television yelling at me about sports, there were better and worse than Carter. Coincidentally, Ditka, Lewis, and Dilfer were all worse—and Lewis might've murdered a man.

Carter probably didn't earn too many future backers at ESPN with his "fall guy" spiel, but I refuse to weep about the exit of anyone from my life if it means more Randy Moss.

I could, however, do without Charles Woodson, the last intimidating Michigan Man still breathing. That man has sabotaged my football experience for my entire adult life.

 ALL RISE FOR THE SENATOR. Jim Tressel's Sugar Bowl halftime speech was uploaded to Youtube on Jan. 6, 2011. I didn't see it until 11Wer ChicagoBuckeye10 linked it on May 9, 2016.

So yeah, you're damn right I'm including it in the May 10, 2016 Skully. The scene is the 2011 Sugar Bowl; Ohio State leads 28-10 at halftime, and the Vest is demanding perfect special teams:

Your follow-along transcript:

... Perfect special teams. Defense keep playing your ass off. Offense, no mistakes.

You want to punch 'em and daze 'em? If you want to daze them right now this is our chance. You want to give some hope? Go three and out. That's real. You got to go after their ass with it.

You got 30 minutes take these guys out the right way. Thirty minutes, fight hard, prepare hard, and it comes down now the way it should, in a BCS game... the way it should... two good-ass teams, two good-ass teams, they go for 30 minutes... does everyone understand?

Yes, sir!

Sideline, do you understand?

Yes, sir!

Gotta love rare glimpses into the side of coaches we know is there but rarely see.

I hope one day we'll get a more candid look at Urban Meyer's and Jim Tressel's halftime speeches. I bet it'd be fascinating to compare, only because I doubt Meyer asks his team to stop at "dazing" their opponents.

Still, the Senator not needing fire and brimstone to win five collegiate championships speaks to his own kind of swagger.

 SLOBS GET NEW TOY. Ohio State offensive linemen have a new training weapon, courtesy of former Ohio State offensive lineman LeCharles Bentley.

The Ohio State University o-line's new toy. Makes you want to go train..... @powerliftequipment #BuiltToDominate pic.twitter.com/hOKKrgGPzQ

— LBOlineDesign (@LBOlineDesign) May 9, 2016

These sleds are of Bentley's own design. They're part of his line of workout gear proliferating among NFL franchises. 

What are the purposes of these sleds? Glad you I asked.

Here's 11W's film guru, Kyle Jones, who sat down in an exclusive interview with me, the author of this article:

I believe they are like a block sled except instead of wrapping around a big pad, you put you hands in those handles and the top and push more with your arms curled, like you would in real life.

The technique is called the "double under," and I talked about it in my tight zone technique piece a couple years ago.

The point is to cup your hands underneath the breast plate of the defensive lineman's shoulder pads, and lift him up using the same muscles as you would in a shrug or power clean.

Here's a look at how the sled is used, featuring former King Slob Taylor Decker:

Congrats to @TDeck68 - Time to roll.... #OLPBuiltToDominate pic.twitter.com/TOPU1VN74b

— LeCharles Bentley (@OLineWorld65) April 29, 2016

Just further proof Urban Meyer keeps his program on the cutting edge in all facets of the game.

 HARBAUGH'S WORLD TOUR. Michigan assistants better enjoy rental cars and drab hotel rooms, because Jim Harbaugh has them booked from coast to coast next month. 

From mlive.com, here's a look at Michigan's satellite camp attack plan:

(Note: Ohio State and Rutgers are holding a satellite camp six miles from Michigan's June 8 camp in Paramus, N.J.)

Seems like a lot of work to gin up unheralded two-star commits Harbaugh is just going to cold shoulder two weeks before National Signing Day, but circuses were never known to stick in one place for too long and shows must go on.

 THOSE WMDs. How laxative teas took over Instagram... Punks look back on their wildest days... InBev looks to replace Budweiser with 'America' on packs... Pigeons wearing lights illuminate New York skies... Couple watches house burn down 20 minutes after evacuation.