The rumors are true: Most people (author included) are bad at Twitter. Perhaps carrying around a bullhorn to broadcast random inane thoughts into an abyss of strangers and colleagues/competitors won't go down in history as a great experiment in mental health, but that doesn't mean a few brave souls aren't carrying their Twitter torch aloft like a beacon to humanity.
Back in the day, these men had names like Socrates and Zeno. In this era, they go by monikers like @OsuCoachCoombs, and they drink Red Bull with apocalyptic abandon.
They also keep a timely hashtag.
Here are a few examples of Kerry Coombs' powers. Any #brand social media guru reading will want to take some notes after a thankful prayer Coombs' didn't decide to come for their job.
Back in the Queen city planting flags today! #youcantravelthecountryseelotsofgreatpeoplebuttheresstillnoplacelikehome! #GoBucks
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) May 19, 2016
Planting flags all over TSUN today! #yesterdayDetroittodayLansingFlintandSurroundingareas #makingthismysecondhome #somanygoodplayers!
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) May 18, 2016
2nd stop of the day-Lone Star State! Specifically Dallas! #mighthavetogetZeketoruninterferenceformehere #toomanygreatplayersallovertheUSA
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) May 16, 2016
Planting flags all over TSUN today! #receptionfromhighschoolsuphereistremendous #lotoffutureBuckeyestars(Youknowwhotheyare)alreadyontheteam
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) April 25, 2016
Buckeye corners getting strong on Harley Davidson day in the Weightroom! #thxcoachmarottiandstrengthstaffforthegrind pic.twitter.com/fRvgXbIpVz
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) March 4, 2016
Flags are up & ready 4 planting this morning! Sunny Orlando then off to Pittsburgh! #sunshinetosteelnostoneunturned #onlythebestfortheBucks
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) January 28, 2016
Flag planting continues today! Spent the morning in Norfolk, & going to spend the afternoon & evening in Jacksonville! #seeingtheeastcoast
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) January 26, 2016
Another day, more flags to plant! On the way to Detroit to see some of the nations best players and coaches! #lovethatmotorcity #gobucks!
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) January 20, 2016
Buckeyes have arrived in Phoenix! Awesome reception! #thankstothefiestabowlcommittee! #timetogettowork! #GoBucks pic.twitter.com/Gd28xMpe1L
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) December 27, 2015
Second stop! The White House! #lovemyguys #thisisanunbelievableday pic.twitter.com/jdo0qH6U85
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) April 20, 2015
Stop # 1 on the DC tour! MLK memorial with a speech by Buckeye Leonard Haynes! #inspriational #thedreamliveson! pic.twitter.com/dtYtvoFazI
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) April 20, 2015
The first of 3 Championship rings delivered today! Power of the Unit! #wellearned #letsgogetanotherone #GoBucks pic.twitter.com/kTL79xQRac
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) March 27, 2015
Getting ready to speak to hundreds of great high school coaches in Detroit tonight! #greatmendedicatedtotheirplayersandagreatprofession!
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) February 12, 2015
The day in the sun is done! Flags planted in south Florida! Time to set the sights northward! #hotmusichottercarsgreatfootball #Motownbaby!
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) January 29, 2015
Planting the Flag in Indianapolis today! #littlebitofsnownotgoingtoslowusdown! #GoBucks
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) January 26, 2015
I could keep going... but then Coombs may come for my job, and I don't handle homelessness well.
You might be asking, why do only a mere 30,000 people follow this man? Justin Bieber controls an army of 81.1 million, 50 million of which would kill for him without question or remorse.
Because Twitter, like the world, is dark and full of horrors. Improve your social media safety (as well as your mental health) by lending a follow to @OsuCoachCoombs. You won't regret it.
Back in the Queen city planting flags today! #youcantravelthecountryseelotsofgreatpeoplebuttheresstillnoplacelikehome! #GoBucks
— Kerry Coombs (@OsuCoachCoombs) May 19, 2016
