A Firsthand Account of the 2016 Ohio State Football Women's Clinic

Sunday, June 12 marked the fourth year of the Ohio State Football Women's Clinic benefiting The Urban and Shelley Meyer Fund for Cancer Research. If you've thought about going but haven't pulled the trigger yet, I'm here to tell you to get it done.

The day runs from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. with check-in an hour before things kick off. I arrived at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center at 8:10 a.m. thinking I was ahead of the curve—actually I was behind about 200 other women who had already arrived and queued up. Still, it was a good call as close to 600 women showed up for a day of Coach Meyer, the assistants and players you know and love, a tour of the WHAC and football drills with players and coaches.

Upon entering the indoor practice field you have several choices: get in line for a picture with Urban Meyer, play cornhole with some players and your besties, stop, talk to and get an autograph from Ed Warinner, Tim Beck, Zach Smith, Larry Johnson, Kerry Coombs or Mickey Marotti, hit the silent auction, or snag a front row seat for the first half of the day's instructional presentation. I opted for Coach Meyer and then snagged a 3rd row seat for one of the best presentations I have been privy to.

Of course, Urban starts the show.  Even as a giant fan, I had no idea how funny and sarcastic the man really is. He's captivating, motivating – and hilarious. I have no idea why anyone would want to play for another coach.

He called us “nutjob ladies” and we ate it up. Even in June, with 166 days until The Game, Meyer sticks to his guns. There is to be no blue worn in Urban's house and the two gals who showed up wearing that color were brought to the stage for pushups and a tongue-lashing in front of everyone.

Before Meyer left the podium, he took time to teach the women in attendance the proper football stance. We would use this stance throughout the rest of the instructional presentations by the coaches, which included staging routes using quarterbacks J.T. Barrett, Stephen Collier and Joe Burrow – with volunteers from the audience learning and performing “Quick Cals.” At one point, Barrett joined the women in formation to participate. I turned around and—OH MY GOD!

This was followed by a rather risqué demonstration of the Ohio State football uniform and how it is custom made for each player. The model for this session was none other than Butkus candidate Raekwon McMillan, appearing with Dre'Mont Jones. As pieces were described, a volunteer from the audience removed each article of the uniform.

This led to a discussion about drawers – with McMillan stating his preference for nice undies – and culminated with each player standing on the stage wearing only said drawers after the rest of the uniform had been peeled away to the tunes of Beyoncé, accompanied by screams and cat-calls from the crowd and taunts from the conditioning coaches. I will report one pair of Calvin Klein and a rather stylish cashew nut print. Definitely a bonus for the ladies.

Let's be honest – by this point, I was fan-girling pretty hard. You know when they release hype videos before any big Ohio State game on social media? And you watch it and are ready to run through a wall? The Women's Clinic was like that for six straight hours.

While the players and staff were great, the crowd did its part too, making the day beyond fun. In one instructional demonstration, a volunteer took to the stage, walked up to Barrett and said, “Please tackle me.”

Then, when asked by quarterbacks coach Tim Beck how her ball-handling skills were, she replied, “There's a really dirty joke in there.”

Nobody ever said Ohio State girls were shy.

Next, we stopped for a lunch break and as we had free reign of the WHAC to eat, many of the players ate near the girls and made themselves available for autographs and photos. I have to say, I was impressed with their enthusiasm and level of interaction with the fans.

They talked to us, answered our questions, took the tour of the WHAC with us, were patient, ready with a smile and I saw many of them hugging a participant who was wearing a “1951 OSU Grad” t-shirt.  These guys are not only rife with talent, but manners and personality too. Personally, I'm looking at you, Austin Mack and Branden Bowen. I asked Austin how he liked his first time doing this and he said he absolutely loved it and it was a great day.

And then, after the enormous line for J.T. Barrett had finished, Urban had one of his assistants come to get him, announcing that the head coach needed the quarterback.

It was time for the outdoors segment of the day: eight offensive and defensive football drills and relay races in pads and helmets.

(My team? Four-time winners in the relay races. We were in it to win it, man.)

Broken up into groups, we started with tackling, led by linebackers coach and defensive coordinator Luke Fickell. This may have been the most fun I had all day. We were taught how to get low, hit with the shoulder, and then let loose on these young men holding large pads.

Some of the ladies really got into it.

I asked the kid I took down five times what he had done wrong to deserve this job? He wasn't sure. And after my first take down, Coach Fickell was laughing as I was picking myself up.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing, that was just a good tackle,” he replied.

DAY. MADE.

After the tackling drills, we ran routes and caught passes with offensive coordinator Ed Warinner and quarterbacks coach Tim Beck, learned how to sack and scoop fumbles, attempted field goals (so not easy), practiced running back routes with Tony Alford and wide receiver routes with Zach Smith.

When scoring presumptive touchdowns, we were encouraged to dab or do an excessive celebration dance. Let me tell you, the ladies on hand for the day had some serious moves. I spiked the ball several times and then asked if anyone remembered the “Icky Shuffle.”

After each drill, we huddled up with the coaches and on three yelled BUCKEYES! or GO BUCKS! or WE GOT THE JUICE! when asked. They made us run from drill to drill – always hustling – reminded us that we were walking on hallowed ground paved by Orlando Pace and Eddie George, and took it all very seriously.  They are all great men with huge personalities and It. Was. Awesome.

I have to mention Executive Director for Football Operations and Special Assistant to Urban Meyer, Tim Hinton, who pretty much ran the day and actually let me pick some new music to compete on the field to, Assistant Strength and Conditioning Coach Quinn Barham who was a huge part of the day, and Assistant Strength and Conditioning Coach Phil Matusz, who also played a big role and was constantly ragged on by the other coaches due to his primping to look good for all of the ladies in the morning.

Everyone was so personable, so friendly, so talented and so approachable. They made us all really feel like a part of the team, a part of the program, and let us experience something very special that not that many people ever get to experience.  I didn't think I could be any bit bigger of a Buckeye fan, but somehow I absolutely am.  

Next year, I want a group of pals and a videographer for the day.

Kristin Conrad is the biggest Buckeye fan you know. You can follow her on Instagram.