Being a Buckeye is something every Ohio State fan dreams of: taking the field while listening to the screams of thousands of fans, beating up on the Big Ten, and, most importantly, beating That School Up North. But it's not quite as easy as we'd like it to be... I tried out for the Ohio State football team as a walk-on. Here's how it went.
Ohio State Football walk-on tryouts were held on Jan. 12 in the Woody Hayes Athletic Center.
When I received this news, all the memories of my Buckeye fandom flooded my mind, including the time I dressed up as Woody Hayes for Halloween. Ten years ago, I wanted nothing more than to be an Ohio State football player, but as I grew older, I realized the 5-foot-7 guy who weighs 145 pounds has almost no place on a football field.
On the morning of Jan. 12, I was still undecided about going to the tryout. The idea had been given to me, but no decision had been made by me. I knew going would be a complete failure by me, and I might even embarrass myself a few times, and that certainly discouraged me.
But I am sticking to this damned "two workouts per week" resolution of mine if it kills me. This tryout gave me the perfect opportunity to work out somewhere other than on a treadmill.
When I decided I was going, I began to disseminate the news to my friends and family. They weren't exactly optimistic about my chances based on my otherworldly backyard football skills lack of football experience, but they encouraged me nonetheless.
Other text messages were not quite as optimistic:
So upon making my decision, I took another look at the flyer sent out on Twitter, and all of a sudden I noticed a huge problem.
Last chance! pic.twitter.com/2qAkVBXmmQ
— Ohio State Football (@OhioStateFB) January 12, 2017
As I mentioned above, I am 5-foot-8, 145 pounds soaking wet. There was no way I was going to get even a single rep on a 225-pound bench press. I went against my better judgment and still went to the tryout.
I arrived at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center around 5:30 p.m., and there were already about 15 Buckeye hopefuls waiting inside the doors (forget the fact that I tried to go in the wrong door the first time and spent 5 minutes wandering outside the building).
These guys were obviously not here for the lulz like myself; they were stocked with their football cleats and gear. I overheard one person say that he actually had collegiate football experience as an offensive lineman at a previous school. I was in so far over my head.
Promptly at 6, we were led from the lobby to the practice facility, where we filed in and were given a document to fill out for Ohio State athletics and a green slip to keep with us to track our results in the various events.
At 6:30 or so, Ohio State assistant strength and conditioning coach Quinn Barham came out to lead us in stretches. I did most no problem, but then we were told to skip while doing high kicks. This combination did not sit right with me, and I nearly fell approximately 10 times in 20 yards of kicks.
But this was only the beginning. Shortly after, we were split into groups; prospective offensive and defensive linemen, tight ends and linebackers filed into the weight room while the rest of us "skill position" players (and special teams) stayed on the turf.
Now, let me tell you. I am a man who enjoys his shoes. My Jordan Futures are probably the most comfortable shoe I own, and the only athletic shoe I had with me at the time, so I wore them. Jordan Futures are not good on turf.
The first event was the 40-yard dash. I had never even done a 40-yard dash. I didn't even know how to position my feet to start, so I just tried to mimic what the guy ahead of me did.
Each of us ran two 40-yard dashes, unless the coaches wanted to see more from you, in which case you ran an additional one. The coaches did not want to see any more from me, and it certainly didn't help that my shoes almost fell off in each rep.
After that, we were split into smaller groups, and my group was sent to do an L Drill. By this point, I'm already winded, and nausea is beginning to set in. The 40-yard dashes already constituted probably the most intense workout I've had in a year.
Each time I tried to corner in the L Drill. I had to catch myself from falling to the ground as the turf slipped out from beneath my feet. This was a recurring theme through each of the drills.
Next, we had to do what was referred to as a bag drill. We were told to shuffle through one set of bags placed on the ground, run forward about 5 yards, flip our hips and do the same thing facing the opposite direction, and then back. To finish, we had to weave through three tackling dummies, wrap around the final one and sprint to the finish.
Oh, boy, was I in for a treat.
I watched as a few people went ahead of me, each of them grunting from the effort they were giving, kicking themselves for not being faster. My heart began to race, as I simply hoped I wouldn't fall.
My hopes were not enough. As if not knowing how to properly swing my hips around wasn't enough, I fell while trying to weave through the tackling dummies, only a few feet away from the coach who was instructing us. When I fell, I was dumbfounded for a minute, but the yells from everyone to get up and keep going quickly brought me to my feet.
After that, we moved to a shuttle drill. My favorite.
On my first rep of the shuttle drill, I felt more nervous than the others, we were all in close proximity to the coach, and I could feel him watching my every move.
When he told me to go whenever I was ready, I didn't hesitate. Maybe I should have, because he called me back before I could even touch the line for the first time. He politely told me that I needed to start with my hand on the ground. So I tried again. And fell. Starting to pick up on how this story goes?
There was a plethora of other drills, including one that I only know as "follow the ball" - you stand between four cones, and you run whichever way the coach points, all while keeping your eyes locked on his hands (which usually have a ball in them, but not this time). Want to guess how this one ended? That's right, with me laying on the ground after wiping out.
By this time, the nausea was really getting serious, I think I pulled a muscle in my leg, and I developed one of the worst cramps I had ever felt.
Go ahead. Call me a crybaby, or whatever else you want. I'm still going to complain about my cramp.
Horror still loomed as I had yet to do a bench press, and this was only strengthened as more and more of the players who had originally gone to the weight room began to trickle into the skill position drills.
However, my one good stroke of luck came when it was announced that skill position players would not be doing the bench press. Thank the heavens above.
To finish the night, all of us were called to the 50-yard line and told to take a knee. A coach walked over and began speaking to us, thanking us for coming out, and informing us that he would call the name of anyone who the coaches were interested in beyond this tryout.
You could feel the nerves build in the crowd as we waited patiently for our names to be called. Even I, who ran a 5.5 40-yard dash, held out hope that somehow I would make it to the next stage. (It must have been the spirit of Vince Papale rising up in me again.)
As the coach came to the end of his roll call (which consisted of approximately eight people), he began a speech about how this tryout was not the end of the road; to use our green slips as motivation to get better. Most of the Buckeye hopefuls didn't want to hear it. I couldn't help but chuckle under my breath, because I knew all along that this was how the night would end.
Who knows? Maybe I'll have a better chance of making a major sports team if I find myself at an Ohio State basketball tryout.
