Lancaster, Ohio is a lot like my hometown of Marion: A land of adventure replete with cheap heroin.
One thing Marion lacks, however, is wild-ass monkeys that escape from RVs and assault Wal-Mart employees. But such is what happened in Lancaster on Sunday.
Monkey gets loose in Lancaster Walmart parking lot, apparently biting employee https://t.co/kmCns4BnDY pic.twitter.com/HZvh03xlV4
— NBC4 Columbus (@nbc4i) August 15, 2016
In the above video, a brave cart wrangler can be seen tussling with a wild-ass monkey, before some crazed woman runs in screaming, “Let him go, let him go, let him go! If he bites you, they will put him down!" as if the employee is the one at fault.
While it's unclear in the video, apparently the monkey got his bite before his guardian whisked him away like a child throwing a tantrum in a toy aisle.
From The Lancaster Gazette:
Lancaster police call logs indicate a monkey escaped from a camper parked in the Walmart, at 2687 North Memorial Drive, parking lot at around 7:50 p.m. Sunday. A woman is said to have opened the camper door when the monkey got free. The monkey reportedly bit a Walmart employee, though the associate did not require medical attention.
The caller advised that the monkey was larger than her 2-year-old.
The lesson, as always, is to avoid Lancaster whenever possible.
