Before I ascend to my bully pulpit, I would like to command a moment of silence for the big homie, Art Schlichter.
Schlichter is doing ELEVEN FEDERAL YEARS for crimes federal authorities described as, "scamming participants in a million-dollar sports ticket scheme."
That was in May 2012. Art Schlichter is still locked up, y'all. (#damnitstrue.)
What are you doing with your freedom today? I'm typing on the internet and awaiting death.
DIENHART DROPS A #TAKE ON OSU'S PRACTICE. BTN was at Ohio State yesterday. (Here's its bus homage to legendary Big Ten program Rutgers.) BTN's Tom Dienhart took in practice.
His article is a treasure trove of access that'd only be granted to BTN heavy-hitters, and it's worth your time in full.
Here are some of his quick hits:
Most impressive player: Joey Bosa. Pure energy. Think Jared Allen.
Top specimen: Braxton Miller. The guy is chiseled from granite.
Best drill:& Soon after the team hit the field, players circled and “bull in the ring” started. It was spirited, loud, raucous and hard-hitting.
Loudest coach: Kerry Coombs. He has leather lungs. Never has a small man been so loud.
Impressive newcomer: Curtis Samuel. The guy is pure, unadulterated speed at running back.
Top moment: Larry Johnson running his defensive linemen through the drills. He’s fun to watch. And the Buckeyes have a large collection of big men who can move. It’s scary.
Again, the whole article is dynamite. It includes interviews with Braxton, Urban, and a lot more.
Curtis Samuel, however, is my pick to be the tongs to Ezekiel Elliot's hammer. Sure, Dontre Wilson's hype fizzled a bit last year (the DeSoto Jitterbug will ride out this year), but Urban Meyer singled Curtis Samuel out on numerous preseason occasions.
HERBSTREIT, WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS ONE? Isn't Kirk Herbstreit supposed to hate Ohio State? This tweet perplexes me:
In the recruiting room at #OhioStadium. #7Heismans!! pic.twitter.com/JdZDlxkFwn
— Kirk Herbstreit (@KirkHerbstreit) August 6, 2014
Assuming he was there with GameDay, that raises a few questions. Why is Ohio State letting his colleague Desmond Howard, prodigy of Lloyd Carr, into Ohio Stadium's recruiting room, and why is a supreme hater of OSU using TWO exclamation points after #7Heismans?
A lot to digest here.
(Digression: If any parents are out there... please do not let your children do irony. Not even once. They'll end up talking in nothing but new-age riddles, and you'll end up detesting them by their 12th birthday.)
Kirk Herbstreit, you have not fooled me... but I do like how Ohio State left a space for the eighth Heisman winner.
THE PASSION OF CURTIS. I'm cheering for Curtis Grant this year, y'all. I really am.
From the venerable Doug Lesmerises of The Cleveland Plain Dealer:
"His confidence level has really gone up, and that's probably the biggest thing," Fickell said. "Curtis has always had the ability. The reality is when a guy is not in a good place in his mind, it's really tough. And not to give Curtis an excuse or anything, but he's had a lot of tough things that have happened and things haven't quite gone his way since the day he walked in here. But I'll tell you what, he's a different kid. I shouldn't say kid, he's a different man.
"He battled through a lot of things, he's got a lot of confidence in what he's doing and he's the passion and energy of that defense right now."
I think, in the end, Raekwon McMillan coming to Ohio State will be the best thing to ever happen to Curtis Grant's career.
Fickell has said the unit is its best if the elders are performing at a high level. Hearing Curtis described as "the energy of the defense" is certainly a step in that direction.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW: MAURICE HALL. Ol' Shiny Diamond Ramzy sent this one across my cyber desk.
Remember Maurice Hall, contributor to the 2002 national title team? Like Eddie George, he's into acting now. Unlike Eddie George, he's done syndicated shows. He's onto his biggest project ever, though.
Tell us about your new film project “Baker’s Man.”
MAURICE: “Baker's Man” is a romantic comedy that everyone will love. It's has the jokes that a 70 year old and a 16 year old will appreciate; the obstacles that we will all have to overcome and the love that everyone wants to see.
What lead you to performing in this new arena?
MAURICE: I started writing it as a short film to create opportunities for myself to be seen doing good work. The more I wrote, the more ideas I got and the creative juices started flowing. The next thing I knew I had 100 pages written and a now feature film. I'm very excited about it.
[...]
What can you share with us about your NFL friends support for “Baker’s Man”?
MAURICE: They have been great. Malcolm Jenkins (Philadelphia Eagles) and DeVier Posey (Houston Texans) both played football at Ohio State which is where I played as well, so once I told them about what I was doing now they were immediately on board to help. [...]
"A romantic comedy everybody will love."
...
......
.........
There is no such thing as romantic comedy, Maurice.
THE SEC IS BULLSHIT. Thanks to "Sterling Cooper" of – and I wish I were making this up – TotalFratMove.com, I now know the SEC is overhyped:
Let’s start with how the polling system is biased. Most people will claim that preseason polling is useless and has no real bearing on the game. This is certainly true if you look at polls as indicators of how teams will shake out in the season. However, they’re extremely important in terms of maintaining a ranking. See, it’s much harder to climb the polls as the season goes on if you were underrated going in. Conversely, if you start in the top 10 and play in the SEC, you have to REALLY shit the bed to drop out of the rankings. It’s because the conference itself is set up to allow that.
Thanks for the startling revelation, Sterling. That was, in retrospect, a total frat move.
Yes, the SEC is overhyped, but it's still the best college football conference.
Why, though, is it so hard for people to admit their favorite football conference might not be the best one? That's the $10 question.
THOSE WMDs. Man buys 23 Burger King apple pies to spite a small child... FSU is paying Jameis Winston's loss-of-value insurance policy... 90-year-old veteran jogging across America... VIDEO: Supermarket comes up with brilliant way to save food... Great Manziel-Hoyer-Browns look... Eat the bread, everyone... Let’s Watch A Shirtless Russian Dude Lead An Army Of Obedient Ducks Into A Barn... Like beer? What about whiskey?
