You know what I just discovered? You can infuriate any current toddler parent by simply asking them, "What do you think about that new Chipmunks banger, my friend?"
ICYMI:
- Terrelle Pryor looks the part of an NFL receiver.
- Jim Tressel says Pryor is still "OSU family" and that he doesn't really miss coaching.
- Urban Meyer, Cardale Jones, and Logan Stieber were nominated for ESPYS.
- Logan Stieber also won Big Ten Male Athlete of the Year, only Ohio State's fourth such honor.
PATIENT 0's ZERO HOUR. The NBA Draft (ESPN, 7 p.m.) is the best draft in America, hands down. It's not nearly as bloated and pompous as the NFL Draft, the suits are better, and you're not forced to look at Roger Goodell's orange, Botox-laced face. (The only downside? You can't boo Roger Goodell's orange, Botox-laced face.)
So needless to say, this puddle of melted glue would be watching the NBA regardless. The fact a certified Ohio State boss like D'Angelo Russell will go within the Top 5 picks is the icing on the cake.
Russell looks like he's ready for the next chapter in his career.
From Bill Rabinowitz of Dispatch.com:
“[D'Angelo Russell] was telling me the other night, ‘Coach, I’m tired of all this. I want to get to where I’m going and I want to go to work,’ ” Ohio State men’s basketball coach Thad Matta said on Tuesday. “He said it’s draining flying all over the country and doing interviews. He said, ‘I just want to go to work.’ ”
While it's hard to envision now, this wasn't always the plan for Russell. Originally, he planned to stay for two years. (O! What could've been.) Then things started to change:
“He handled it as well as any kid I’ve ever seen,” Matta said. “In late January or early February, he came in my office one day and sat on the couch and said, ‘Coach, what do you make of all this? All these people saying I’m a pro and all this. What’s going on?’
“I said, ‘My man, you just keep doing what you’re doing, and we’ll take care of it at the end of the year.’ It never fazed him.”
Matta, however, realized the NBA could come calling after a closed scrimmage against a team coached by the sublime Bob Huggins:
When Russell scored 33 points, including the winning basket, in a closed scrimmage against West Virginia, Matta suspected that the freshman might not be long for the college game.
“I remember telling the coaches afterward, ‘Fellas, we may need to find another guard because this kid could be gone,’ ” Matta said.
Put me on record: The only guy I'd take over Russell is Karl-Anthony Towns. If Towns isn't available and the Lakers pass on D'Angelo Russell.... consider me down with them (more than I already am).
DEVIN SMITH TO THE #DADS. Devin Smith survived a Stark County car accident last summer, and now he's here.
From Nate Ulrich of Ohio.com:
“I’m very, very excited about that,” Smith said Tuesday while players from the AFC participated in a youth football clinic at Browns headquarters as part of the NFL Rookie Symposium. “I’m looking forward to seeing [my son] grown. It’s a blessing to have a great girlfriend, and she’s a great mother to him.”
The Jets excused Smith from their recent minicamp so he could ensure he was in Northeast Ohio for his son’s arrival.
“It was tough because I didn’t want to miss anything with football,” said Smith, who was drafted by the Jets last month in the second round (37th overall). “But at the same time, when you have something like this, you can’t miss it.”
And here's a look at the newest member of the Smith clan:
June 18th, 2015 8:49 AM the best day of my life! God sent me a beautiful angel! pic.twitter.com/djsffCbEAk
— Devin Smith (@dsmithosu) June 24, 2015
CLARETT STILL ON THE TRAIL OF GOOD. Maurice Clarett started from the bottom — won a title — went to prison, and now he's here:
One time for @ReeseClarett13 on sharing his story & speaking to our team today. #ItsAboutUs pic.twitter.com/U42TEy9ibu
— AggieFBLife (@aggiefblife) June 23, 2015
Sounds like Texas A&M swept Maurice off his feet. From FoxSports.com:
"I would be lying if I told everyone that I've visited a better place than this. First class people and first class facilities," [Clarett] wrote. "Coach Sumlin is the real deal. No doubt about that. I've been enough places to know who's real and who's not."
Maurice's campus revival tour won't be stopping there, though:
I have LSU, TCU, Alabama, Florida State and the University of Connecticut on the calendar. I also get to spend a week in Brooklyn with kids.
— Maurice Clarett (@ReeseClarett13) June 24, 2015
Woah, woah, woah, Maurice! It's one thing to be helping out the likes of Texas A&M, LSU, and UCONN, but Alabama, TCU, and Florida State? OSU could actually face those teams in the playoffs!
CLARK DYNASTY EN ROUTE? 2017 commit Danny Clark — a.k.a the most committed prospect in Ohio State history — looks like he could start tomorrow.
6'4 230 @BillBankGreene @Birm @MarcGivlerBG @RyanGinnBSB @SYRmotsag @Kevin_Noon @osu_recruiting @OSUFOOTBALL_ https://t.co/vpLlBMVJqE
— PROTOTYPE (@DClarkQB) June 24, 2015
Even crazier than sharing a video of "a shirtless #teen in a backyard" and not immediately going to jail is that the Clark family could theoretically QB Ohio State from 2017 to 2024:
This dude is going to be a dragon slayer @georgewhitfield @Birm @MarcGivlerBG @TheBuckeyeNut @OSUCoachMeyer https://t.co/fFq0ilPdwr
— PROTOTYPE (@DClarkQB) June 24, 2015
In other, semi-related news: I am old. So, so old.
HUNTER, YOU SEEM WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE TWEETING. Listen kid, the first lesson about life is never to Tweet:
OMG I JUST MET OHIO STATE LINE BACKER DARREN LEE @DLeeMG8 pic.twitter.com/31t1MXL5xo
— Hunter Mowery (@HunterMowery5) June 24, 2015
Kids these days are basically witches with electronics. It's terrifying. That's probably how this world ends, with kids like Hunter controlling the death machines while the Chipmunks rage over the loud speakers.
THOSE WMDs. The (Obtuse) Triangle Offense... Will book publishers ever start fact-checking? They're already starting... The man who was jailed for 22 years — on the fantasy evidence of a single hair... How Minions Destroyed the Internet... Timelapse: Puppies running for dinner.
