ICYMI:
- Rashard Lawrence, a 2016 five-star DT, decides between LSU and Ohio State this morning. The Lord of Whispers prophesied the Louisianan will stay home.
- The women's basketball team warded off Michigan in Ann Arbor, 97-93.
- The men's basketball team lost to Purdue Pete's creepy ass, 75-64.
- Mike Vrabel (surprisingly but sagely) declined the San Francisco 49ers defensive coordinator job.
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- Steve Harvey: Where did cussing come from?
- George Carlin: Seven dirty words.
- Lil Duval: Snitches.
THE SENATOR SPEAKS. Crime lord Jim Tressel is still, thankfully, on the lam. But whenever he gives an interview, I fret the NCAA/CIA could track the report to Tressel's secret lair somewhere on Youngstown State's campus (much like how the Mexican government reportedly tracked Sean Penn to El Chapo).
As for returning to the football arena, Tressel seems content to retire as a certified triple O.G.
From cleveland.com:
"I hear from the headhunter search firms encouraging me to do so and saying they've had clients call to see if they can convince me to do so. It is what it is. You have to respect the thoroughness of people sitting down and saying, 'OK, now who might be available that has demonstrated some success?'
"So, they start listing names and assessing the fit and the interest and everything else. But, I've told all of the search firms when they call that I've made a commitment where I am and right now that's what we're going to do. So, it's in one ear and out the other."
If Jim Tressel were a grifter, he'd be bad at it.
But I tip my cap to Tressel for sticking to his commitment in Youngstown. Perhaps most interestingly, however, was this graph:
Maybe Tressel will seek out some Rolling Stones or Elton John or Billy Joel [on the radio while traveling]. He saw the latter two perform together in Columbus, one of the most memorable concerts he has attended, he said. He also saw the Stones at old Cleveland Municipal Stadium many years ago.
I've heard third-shift factory workers speak in hushed reverent tones about Cleveland's old Municipal Stadium. (One once told me it made the Muni Lot look like a J.V. game.)
I've slagged the Stones in the past (fight me if you want), but I'd pay good money for footage of a lightweight saucy Tressel swaying to the dulcet tones of the Stones.
DECKER PULLS OUT OF SENIOR BOWL. Taylor Decker might've been the highest-rated prospect in the Senior Bowl, but the LeCharles Bentley ward pulled out of the process on Thursday.
Braxton Miller, Tyvis Powell, Joshua Perry, Adolphus Washington, and Nick Vannett are all slated to play for the North squad on January 30th. Former Buckeye DE Noah Spence is on the South Squad.
Chase Farris, another ward of LeCharles Bentley, "created some buzz" this week during Shrine Bowl practice after looking more comfortable at guard. He'll play Saturday.
KURT COLEMAN, STILL BALLIN'. Kurt Coleman's playmaking abilities were never questioned coming out of Ohio State, but some scouts questioned his size.
Chip Kelly, the smartest man in every room he's ever entered, didn't have a use for him in Philadelphia. So Kurt to his talents to Charlotte, where he's thrived.
From dispatch.com:
“I’ve always believed in myself to be a playmaker since I started playing football,” Coleman said. “It’s just about having the right opportunity. And when I came to this team, I found out I am dealing with some great guys and great players, like Luke Kuechly, Thomas Davis, the D-line which is playing unbelievable, and the DBs are unreal.
“My stats are only a symbol of what we’ve been able to do as a team collectively.”
What stands out about Coleman, Kuechly said earlier this year, is his constant effort.
“He’s one of those dudes you love having on your team because his attitude, his will to win are just fantastic,” Kuechly told the Gaston (N.C.) Gazette.
Coleman compiled 90 tackles and seven interceptions so far this season. And that's (in part) why Chip no longer works in Philadelphia.
WE ALMOST LOST THE SHOE. Here's a story the lame stream media won't report: We almost lost the Horseshoe on Thursday when an Ohio State worker caught a microwave on fire.
It was a close call, but the heroic Columbus Fire Department quenched the flames before they engulfed the iconic stadium. Here's an exclusive pic delivered to me, the man who broke this story:
This is why I stay away from witchcraft like microwaves. The last time I used one I ruptured a heating pad (like the washed scrub I am) and 10 trillion tiny little plastic balls went all over my kitchen. I still have nightmares of those bouncing balls.
THIS SEEMS GOOD. We end the workday with Mike Thomas doing Mike Thomas things:
Major @TonyVillani_XPE am I at the right place @criscarter80 ??? #shhhh pic.twitter.com/G4cwCxcxLF
— Mike Thomas (@Cantguardmike) January 21, 2016
THOSE WMDs. Aurora Borealis illuminates the Earth's northern hemisphere.... The Undertaker is old, but strong... The last days of Target in Canada... Maryland has a chocolate milk–concussion scandal on its hands... Here's what an Ashley Madison blackmail letter looks like.
