BOOM
2025 cornerback Jordyn Woods flips from Cincinnati and commits to Ohio State.
I logged in while vacationing on the east side of Columbus to write the Monday Skull Session. The haters and losers can say what they want—at least my tripe trains run on time.
- ICYMI: OL Grant Schmidt, Ohio State's first South Dakotan, is transferring and 2016 three-star CB signee Kareem Felder won't enroll at Ohio State this summer or fall.
GOLDEN KINGS KINGED (AGAIN). Ryukyu Golden Kings frontman Evan Ravanel has been ballin' overseas for the 2016. He has grilled yakiniku, launched Evan Ravenel Okinawa Vodka, and fed a baby Japanese deer.
That's a career year for mortals, but Ravenel added another milestone yesterday when he bossed his way to bj-league championship and playoff MVP honors.
From japantimes.com:
Ryukyu Golden Kings big man Evan Ravenel made a big impact in Sunday’s bj-league championship game against the Toyama Grouses.
The Ohio State alum scored nine of his game-high 22 points in the fourth quarter and pulled down 12 rebounds. He made 10 of 14 shots from the field to help the Golden Kings secure their fourth title.
The 204-cm Ravenel was named the playoff MVP after the Okinawa-based basketball powerhouse completed its 86-74 win over Toyama.
As the No. 1 fan of the Ryukyu Golden Kings, I demand the good people of Okinawa do the right thing and build a 612-cm statue in Ravenel's honor.
HITNER CASHES OUT. I watched every game last year of the Cleveland Browns' magical 3-13 season because I hate myself. Never once did I question Donte Whitner's effort from the comfort of my cats' scratching post that is also my couch.
But I also wasn't surprised when the Browns released him earlier this year. Despite his athleticism he was never great in coverage or as an angle-taker. After Father Time drove his scythe deeper into his soul, he no longer struck fear into opponents as somebody that could send them to the hospital.
Whitner is a free agent and one of 69 (niiiice) former Ohio State players active with the NFL. A nine-year vet and No. 8 pick in the 2006 NFL Draft, Whitner won't be hanging his head in shame if this is the end; he'll retire as the highest-earning Buckeye in the league.
From 247sports.com (a * denotes 2016 free agent):
| RANK | PLAYER | YEARS IN LEAGUE | DOLLARS PAID |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | DONTE WHITNER* | 9 | 61,423,750 |
| 2 | RYAN PICKETT* | 14 | 45,625,147 |
| 3 | NICK MANGOLD | 10 | 39,577,430 |
| 4 | A.J. HAWK* | 10 | 36,015,708 |
| 5 | SANTONIO HOLMES* | 9 | 34,636,764 |
| 6 | JAMES LAURINAITIS | 7 | 33,031,297 |
| 7 | MALCOLM JENKINS | 7 | 26,521,960 |
| 8 | TED GINN | 9 | 25,952,086 |
| 9 | CAM HEYWARD | 5 | 22,732,735 |
| 10 | BRIAN HARTLINE | 7 | 18,567,975 |
Active Bucks have earned $463,584,158, which is a number I can type but can't fathom. Malcolm Jenkins is underpaid, though.
MEYER SEEKS EFFICIENCY IN SATELLITES. Jim Harbaugh and Michigan are hitting the summer satellite camp circuit with the relentlessness of a spam king.
Urban Meyer and Ohio State, which you might remember dismantled Jim Harbaugh's Michigan, 42-13, back in November, is looking for a more efficient attack.
From dispatch.com:
“We’re going to do a lot,” OSU coach Urban Meyer said this week. “How many? We’re still fighting through that. (Program assistant) Tim Hinton has kind of taken that responsibility.”
[...]
As for the Buckeyes, what is known thus far is they will be part of camps in Florida (Tampa and Fort Lauderdale), Georgia (Atlanta and Gwinnett County), Texas (Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston), Michigan (Detroit area) and New Jersey (teaming with Rutgers and Temple at Fairleigh-Dickinson). Some OSU coaches also will join their counterparts from Michigan, Michigan State and other schools in a session in Cleveland Heights, Ohio.
[...]
“We’re going to be very efficient with it,” Meyer said. “I want a fresh staff and a fresh team when we start preseason camp in August, so I’m being very cautious about what we do. I do think you have to do it. But you have to pick your spots where you’re going to do it, too.”
Who do you think has the better plan? The guy with three championships or the guy who isn't even the best coach in his family? It's tough to say. We may have to sit back and let this one play out before we can render an ultimate judgment.
Also good to see Tim Hinton get a defined role. According to MarionTMZ, Hinton's move from the tight end coaching job wasn't a choice. It is, however, impossible to keep a Marionaire like Hinton from contributing.
OHIO STATE: 20TH CENTURY HAZING CAPITAL. It seems like 80% of campus stories from the early 1900s involve gangs of freshmen and sophomores looking to kick the shit out of each other.
From The Ohio State University Archives, a poster meant to intimidate freshmen:
... And then World War 1 came along. Makes you think.
HERO SLAYS TERRORIST IN NORTH DAKOTA. A hero in North Dakota is under attack for some reason after doing the only reasonable thing after encountering an aggrieved 30-pound wolverine: Murdering it and boasting about it on Facebook.
From dailymail.co.uk (via @TonyGerdeman):
A rancher has shot dead the first wolverine spotted in North Dakota in 150 years because he thought the animal was going to attack his cattle.
Jared Hatter spotted the 30-pound animal south of Alexander in McKenzie county, late last month when he opened fire.
He posted photographs of the animal on his Facebook account which prompted the North Dakota Game and Fish Department to investigate.
I'm only an historical authority on Warren G. Harding, but I'm pretty sure The Rivalry and its laws are older than the North Dakota Game and Fish Department.
There was no crime here.
THOSE WMDs. The Cat Psychic... Facebook's biggest setback: India... Mud Hens: Toledo to Cleveland to Toledo... Game of Thrones' Tower of Joy scene featured bad sword play... The Snapchat plastic surgeon... Unearthing the secrets of New York's mass graves.
