It has been six hard months since a Game Day Skull Session. We're almost to the Promised Land, but this reprieve gives me time to think of another suffix besides "Get Dumped Then, [Opponent]."
P.S. My girlfriend took a well-paying job with a pension in Springfield. What do we know about the Shield, folks? Keep in mind I'm from Marion when forming your critique.
IT'S PREDICTION SEASON, AND BUSINESS IS BOOMING. I love the smell of Ohio State football predictions in the morning, especially when the flavors are so bold you suspect they're emanating from Guy Fieri's latest restaurant.
Let's see what's on the menu today.
From theozone.net:
1. Mike Weber will lead the B1G in rushing.
See? Bold. The leading returning rusher in the Big Ten is Justin Jackson from Northwestern. He put up 1,418 yards on the ground last season, so if we use that as a mile marker it certainly becomes attainable for Mike Weber.Since Urban Meyer came to Ohio State, the Buckeyes' starting running backs are averaging 1,548 yards rushing per season. If Weber can win the starting job over Bri'onte Dunn, then he becomes a fairly decent bet to lead the conference in rushing.
[...]
3. Joe Burrow will throw for three touchdowns in at least one game this season.
The last time the Buckeyes didn't need to start two quarterbacks in a season was 2012, but I'm not here to predict that Joe Burrow will start a game this year. Instead, I'm just telling you that he's going to get into a game pretty early and Urban Meyer is going to want to see what Burrow is capable of doing.
Poor Bri'onte Dunn, a former five-star RB who was misfortunate enough to sit behind second- and first-round draftees. He is getting no love heading into his senior season, despite making an impact during spring drills.
Such are the perils of signing with Ohio State, where you can sit behind guys like El Guapo and Zeke and have beasts like Mike Weber recruited behind you.
For the record, I'm buying all the Weber stock I can right now. If he goes on to lead the Big Ten in rushing, Ohio State's enemies are going to be sick. When was the last time the Buckeyes didn't have a dependable running back? That was a trick question because I don't remember (nor do I want to).
I also like the prediction on Joe Burrow. Ohio State might not roll its opponents in 2016, but Meyer will find time to work in Burrow, regardless of Barrett's health.
THE MAN WHO BUILT RUTGERS FOOTBALL SPEAKS. Last preseason, I said Tim Beck would be blamed (right or wrong) for any offensive struggles, should they occur. I feel vindicated in that.
Though there was a time when Luke Fickell's performance as DC got some random pizza guy with hot #takes fired, such will be the case this year for Greg Schiano.
If Jim Harbaugh had hired Schiano, an autocrat who flamed out in the NFL in spectacular fashion, I would've laughed. But since Urban Meyer hired him, I feel it's shrewd. (Sports, baby!)
Schiano, however, knows his task is daunting.
From 247sports.com:
“I think in the secondary there are a lot of unknowns, and I think that overall both at safety and corner some guys have stepped up,” Schiano said. “Really, all that does is put them in position to have a chance. Had they not had good springs then you’d sit there and be really concerned.
“They had good springs … but that’s not the season, so we’ll see. Training camp is so much different, you’re doing it every day. It’s back to back practices. It’s day after day after day. Where spring time you practice a day, and then you lift and do some meetings, and then you come out and practice another day. So I think by having a good spring a lot of those guys have put themselves in position to really go have a great training camp and get ready for this season.”
[...]
“[The NCAA rule change allowing some offseason contact between players and coaches] is huge,” he said. “Again, I haven’t been here for the previous four years here but just listening to the coaching staff – our development, it’s the year of development, and our development right now is critical. We have a lot of guys that have not played a lot of game time experience, and we need to get them ready to do that.”
Despite Meyer's blessing, it's not as if he's infallible when it comes to hiring assistants. I'm skeptical, but the results will speak for themselves (as they did with Chris Ash, peace be upon him).
DID SOMEBODY SAY BASEBALL? The Houston Astros selected Ronnie Dawson, the best Ohio State player in the three games I watched this year, with 61st overall pick in the 2016 MLB Draft.
Dawson is excited to get started with his new club.
From dispatch.com:
“I still can’t believe it," said Dawson, who grew up in Grove City and graduated from Licking Heights. “I’m excited. I’m just blessed for this opportunity to get drafted, especially on the first day. Houston is taking a chance on me, and I’m grateful for that."
Dawson was watching the draft on the MLB Network with Buckeyes teammates when he heard his name called.
“I was thinking I was going to the Yankees," he said. “The Dodgers also were thinking about it. Then I heard ‘Ronnie Dawson to Houston’ and said, ‘That’s me.’ I was just screaming. I was with my teammates. I was with the fellas and thanking them for helping make this possible. We did a lot of grinding and sweating together."
Good to see Dawson is in high spirits despite going from the Yankees or the Dodgers to the lowly Astros. But if they're drafting guys like Dawson, perhaps they won't be so lowly anymore.
HAPPY JAMARCO'S BAD #TAKE. There's an old Ohio saying—perhaps it's in other places but I know it's in Ohio—"Tweet enough and you will dispense a bad #take."
For an example of this parable in action, we turn to Ohio State LT Jamarco Jones:
The Harry Potter series is 10x better than Lord of the Rings series
— Jamarco Jones (@jjones_74) June 10, 2016
Look, I like the Harry Potter series and I read all the books, but this is indefensible. I respect J.K. Rowling's world-building, but it's not as if she created the books because she sat around and created five languages like J. R. R. Tolkien did. Plus, Gandalf would kick the shit out of Harry Potter and his cartoon spells.
If you want to say Harry Potter is better, fine. I'll let you live in your wrongness. Ten times better, however? We may have to duel outside a Waffle House.
Now, Game of Thrones > Lord of the Rings is a #take I can get behind.
FROM THE ASHES OF KELLY'S CARRYOUT. Looks like Campus Partners finally figured out what it's going to do with the ruins of Kelly's Carryout:
Daycare slotted for former Weinland Park carryout purchased by Campus Partners/OSU https://t.co/wcxIjbSnHh
— Tom Knox (@TomKnoxBiz1st) June 10, 2016
I'm in the minority in that I enjoy the threat of a mugging while making a $5 purchase at a convenience store, so this is one Campus Partners move I won't lambaste.
For those of you who haven't been to Columbus in awhile, the renovation of the 11th Ave corridor will shock you the next time you're in town.
THOSE WMDs. The United States of Paranoia: The world of gang-stalking... Sorry, but medieval armies probably didn't use fire arrows... Video: The great Gordie Howe... The app boom is over... The Maserati-driving Deadhead lawyer who stands between hackers and prison.
