Thanksgiving Skull Session: Ohio Stadium Seismic Activity, How Ohio State Wins, and Michigan Thinks This Year is Different

Hopefully everybody's Marionaire Christmas didn't get too hectic, and we all remembered to chug six glasses of water before passing out under a westside Marion Marathon heating vent.

Now it's on to the more mainstream holiday, Thanksgiving. Folks say traditional food is good, but I say it's bad. Thank you to everyone who agrees and be sure to throw a hefty tip at the local pizza driver who delivers your sacred meal.

 BRING THE RUCKUS TO THE SHOE. Ohio State asked its fans to bring the noise against Nebraska. Buckeye fans answered in spades.

Here's what that first pick six did to a seismograph stationed in the bowels of the stadium: 

Ohio Stadium rocks like an earthquake when the Buckeyes score. Here's how much it rocks, on a seismic scale. https://t.co/liT9MzxaXS pic.twitter.com/ADRSReE8Bf

— OSU Research News (@osuresearch) November 22, 2016

I'm going to need it twice those levels come Saturday at 12:04 p.m. Michigan crumbled in a night game at Iowa because its schedule didn't prepare it for adversity.

Fans might say, "We had all day to party against Nebraska. That's a tall task being that hyped by noon."

Follow this simple life hack: Buy a five-hour energy shot and a FourLoko of your choice at 7 a.m. Dump the five-hour energy into the Loko. Chug before 7:15 a.m. Repeat the process by 8 a.m.

You are now "in the zone" as we in the biz say. You will be ready to sacrifice your life if it means a Buckeye victory, which is the kind of psychosis the local team needs to turn a noon game the Saturday after Thanksgiving into a #banger.

You might say, "D.J., my job is too serious to drink malt liquor in a convenience store parking lot on Lane Avenue."

Is it, Randy? Nothing is serious in this world besides beating Michigan. Buy the damn elixir. Who knows, you might have fun.

 THE OHIO STATE DIFFERENCE. People think Ohio State vs. Michigan will be offense vs. defense. Michigan's defense is very good. But don't let Urban Meyer's offensive reputation fool you: The Buckeye defense will be the difference.

From profootballfocus.com:

The defense being played in Columbus has been every bit as outstanding as the offense, and has carried the Buckeyes through rough patches this season. Ohio State’s top four pass-rushers all have at least 27 hurries on the season; the only school in the country that can boast more raw production from its top four players is Alabama. DE Tyquan Lewis comes in the hottest, as he notched a sack and four total pressures against Michigan State last week. Ohio State is equally adept at stopping the run, as nine starters have run defense grades of at least 78.7 or higher.

The secondary may not be tested significantly if John O’Korn is the quarterback on Saturday, but it’s worth noting it has possibly been the most consistent unit on the entire team. CBs Gareon Conley and Marshon Lattimore have combined for seven interceptions and 12 other passes defended, with just one touchdown yielded between the two of them. Safety Malik Hooker leads the Big Ten with five interceptions, and QBs have a rating of just 38.2 when he is the primary defender in coverage. Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh is likely to throw the kitchen sink at the Buckeyes, but with such strong play across the board on the back end, Ohio State looks well-equipped to shut down the Wolverines.

That whole article is recommended if you want a tactical deep dive into The Game.

Right now I feel like points will be tough to come by, but it switches every week into a blowout by the time I sit down to type Saturday Skull Sessions. I may be calling for a 60-point hiding by 4:59 a.m. Saturday.

 THIS YEAR, IT'S DIFFERENT. This may be Michigan's best team since the era of Lloyd Carr whipping John Cooper. 

Michigan players know this is the best crack they've had at their rivals since arriving in Ann Arbor, and they're not just gunning for an upset.

From mlive.com:

"They're a great team, they're No. 2 in the country," senior defensive end Taco Charlton said. "But (we have) the best defense in the country.

"So we'll see Saturday who the best team is. They have a good offense, we have a good defense. We'll see which one is better."

Michigan fifth-year senior offensive lineman Erik Magnuson discussed this earlier in the week, explaining how nearly every time he's played against Ohio State during his career, the group was just hoping for a massive upset. Or hoping to find a way to keep it close and see what happens.

This year's different, though.

Michigan better hope their team wins Saturday, because if it doesn't—well, it's about to be nuclear winter in Ann Arbor. 

It was evident from the beginning they'd only tolerate Harbaugh's antics if he beat Ohio State and won trophies. If he can't beat Ohio State this year, it bodes worse for future efforts too (and would make a Godfather offer from the Indianapolis Colts that much more appealing).

 OHIO STADIUM: IT USED TO BE DUMPY. My friend works in Ohio Stadium and swears it's on the verge of condemnation. 

Apparently, it used to be a lot worse, according to former athletic director Andy Geiger.

From Tom Knox of bizjournals.com:

“It was substandard,” Geiger said in a lengthy 2005 conversation on his tenure at the university. “Paul Krebs, then associate athletic director, and others came to me and said, ‘We have a real problem getting the city and the county to let us use our own stadium each year because it’s so far below code requirements.'”

Geiger watched over the stadium for a football season and then told then-OSU President Gordon Gee about the myriad problems he found. There was no seating for people with disabilities and a “woeful at best” bathroom situation, including none on the C-deck. Aisles were narrow and blocked, which would have been a nightmare if the stadium needed to be evacuated.

No bathrooms on C-Deck? It's amazing they got anybody to buy those tickets.

 HELL YEAH, WHITE SNAKE. Shelley Meyer should bring this look back for Saturday's big game:

Soooo, imagine Urb's Stache next to my WHITE SNAKE hair-so called by Kent Merker-back in '88 at OSU tailgate. GA gf then, made it to WIFE. pic.twitter.com/FTFr1ZQm4q

— Shelley Meyer (@spinnershells) November 23, 2016

Don't let Urban lead the team out of the tunnel while sporting a Buckstache. Michigan's biblical ass-kicking would be written in stone at that point.

 THOSE THANKS. Learn from Lutz... How the Browns can compete in 2017... States college graduates leave... Inside a money-making machine like no other... Akron man ejected from six Youngstown bars: "If partying is wrong, I don't want to be right."