It's our first Saturday without any college football since August. You might be tempted to watch the NFL today. If your team is playing in the big game, I understand.
But if your team is still smoldering in a ditch like my Brownies, consider taking the day off and doing literally anything else besides watching a league puppeteered by garbage men in fancy suits. Just watch 1-minute highlight reel after the games conclude. Your coworkers won't know the difference.
ICYMI:
- Jaylen Harris, Ohio's top 2017 wide receiver, committed to the local team.
- In Harris, the Buckeyes landed a big-bodied receiver they've lacked in recent years.
- Gene Smith switched his game length position and joined the CFP committee.
NEGATIVE 'CROOTIN, BABY! Every coach in America denies negative recruiting. But deep down, there's at least one assistant coach talking shit about enemies to recruits.
With Tyjon Lindsey's decommitment, it's speculated Nebraska wide receiver coach Keith Williams—an old Twitter nemesis of Ohio State wide receivers coach Zach "100 emoji" Smith—got in the head of the talented #teen.
From 247sports.com:
“Lindsey has been hearing from Nebraska how going to Ohio State just makes him another rotational guy,” the source began. “And they are saying look what happened to Austin Mack. They are showing him how at Nebraska they throw to the wide receivers. But Kevin Wilson can show him how the wide receivers got open and they threw to them at Indiana. It’s maybe the one hope.”
People say "Ohio State put three wide receivers in the NFL last year." That's true, but Michael Thomas' bloodlines and hard work destined him as a technician. Braxton Miller got drafted in the third for his athletic potential. That's what earned Marshall his shot, and he made his bones returning the ball this season.
Flash back to this October article from our brilliant Kyle Jones rooting problems facing Zone-6:
The easy response is to replace these underperforming wideouts with highly touted recruits like Austin Mack or Binjimen Victor. But if the coaching staff hasn't been able to teach simple route-running techniques to guys like Campbell or Clark that have been in the program for years, there's no reason to think those techniques will have been instilled in young guys that have only been there for a matter of months.
So, I can't hate on Nebraska. It's all in the game. And if a recruit puts more weight in words than Ohio State's dismantling of Nebraska, God bless.
B1G STILL BALLING. It's true, the Big Ten East had a minute on the top before getting sucker-punched by a backwoods Florida football cult, a school the size of Bowling Green, and the gilded urn holding the ashes of Pete Carroll's dynasty.
The haters can talk this offseason. They won the big games. But the Big Ten is still crispy.
From espn.com:
“The conference is as strong as it has been in a long time,” Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith said.
[...]
“It starts and ends with great head coaches,” Northwestern athletic director Jim Phillips said.
[...]
The cash spigot that is the Big Ten Network continues to pay huge dividends, especially since Rutgers and Maryland joined the league. In the fiscal year that ended in June 2015, according to USA Today, the Big Ten distributed $32.4 million to member schools that had full shares (Nebraska, Rutgers and Maryland did not). The money is about to go up, up, up.
The B1G definitely upgraded in coaching. Who is the worst coach now? Probably Indiana's Tom Allen, who is not to be confused with Tim Allen, the infamous Michigan cocaine trafficker, and a name I definitely didn't have to Google.
OFFSEASON #CONTENT, ALREADY? If you're looking for a new recipe involving a not-so-secret secret ingredient, former Ohio State and current New York Jets teammates Devin Smith and Jalin Marshall and their agents have you covered.
You know what grinds my gears? When people self-censor their cussing. Either cuss or don't. You're not saving any youth. You're not getting any "edgy" respect. I like Frank's, but it's behind Sriracha for a reason.
Pet peeve aside, this is the face you make when you remember you're about to cuss in a hot sauce ad:
And that's how the capitalist meatball gets made, folks.
BAUGH GOES UNDER THE KNIFE. It's officially surgery season, folks. With a multi-week hiatus from all football related activities, it's prime time for players to have any and all ailments mended. It appears tight end Marcus Baugh was the first Buckeye to go under the knife.
Surgery was successful
— Beeezy (@MarcusBaugh85) January 14, 2017
Baugh is the top returning pass-catcher in 2017, which is a curious development for a team that doesn't throw to the tight end.
DOUBLE D's TAKES AN L. How confident was Double D's Pub in Merion Village that Ohio State would make the title game? It ordered scarlet dye to serve beer that looked like this during the game:
Only one problem: The local team lost the big game, and my source took this picture at 10 a.m. Friday.
Still, shoutout to Double D's for the faith!
YOU'RE DEAD WRONG, FED EX GUY. There is a reason I mail via the patriots at the United States Post Office. It's because FedEx employs bitter Michigan Men with bad opinions.
Here's a note one left on the door of former Michigan cornerback Jourdan Lewis, who I would definitely not okay maybe for sure definitely take on the Browns.
When the FedEx guy is a Michigan fan I thought I had a package, shoot. pic.twitter.com/V9jq3isib2
— k. (@koliekoleee) January 13, 2017
Bad move, guy. Buckeye Nation's of boycott of Fed Ex will put you in the bread lines.
Seriousness aside, whenever I dwell on the Clemson fiasco, I'll always think, "Well, at least the local team knocked Michigan." And it will look exactly like the classic Alonzo Mourning GIF:
Enjoy the good Saturday, everyone. Even if you're watching commercial-kickoff-commercial sequences from the NFL and its ad partners.
THOSE WMDs. Why I'm worried the Nintendo Switch is just another Wii U... One high school player's secret struggle with CTE... How Albert Woodfox survived solitary... The man who assembled a curling dream team before putting himself on it... The final flight of Walter McNally.
