Skull Session: Ohio State Draft Recap, Ezekiel Elliott Lobbied Cowboys to Take Noah Brown, and the Total Confidence of Paul Brown

By D.J. Byrnes on May 1, 2017 at 4:59 am
Noah Brown mosses a felon for the May 1st 2017 Skull Session
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After 72 hours of genuflection upon the eternal destination of my soul, I have walked back my Browns draft prognosis from "burning all Browns memorabilia except my 'Marion Area Browns Backers shirt and hoodie" to "they may mess around and win five games this year. Don't let them go 1-0, either, because they may never lose again."

Though it's all tempered with the dread of comparing Ohio State's draft class to Cleveland's over the next three years. It'd be one thing if the in-state power was Rutgers... but the local team would've probably produced four top-10 picks last year if the league didn't sleep on Michael Thomas.

The only other burning question I have is why did one time frontrunner-for-the-OSU-vacancy Tim Brewster turned Florida State tight ends coach Tim Brewster bang on Michigan like this?

Just kidding. It's the ol' Monday morning "rhetorical question." There's never a bad time to bang on Michigan, the team with 11 draft picks (most on Day 3) that finished third in its division after losing three of its last four games.

Somebody pass me my Hater's chalice and chinchilla coat. It's time to go to work.

2017 NFL Draft notes:

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Supple.

 NOAH BROWN: FUTURE PRO BOWLER. This time last year I proclaimed Noah Brown a future problem for opposing defenses. I would have been willing to wager non-vital organs.

Outside of one night in Oklahoma and a knockout blow to the Badgers in Madison, the big-bodied receiver with an impressive catch radius never contributed to the local offense. 

Brown, like Jalin Marshall before him, surprised a lot of fans by declaring early. Sometimes people forget there's more to a decision than on-the-field performance.

After Brown impressed with a 4.5 40-yard dash at the combine, I figured Brown would go late Day 2 or early Day 3. He has the tools.

When the sixth round hit, I switched to hoping he went undrafted. At that point, it's better to have your option of suitors.

And then 11W Slack informed me the dreadful Dallas Cowboys selected Brown with a seventh-round pick. (You can hear Cowboys coach Jason Garrett call Brown over here.)

As it turns out, Brown's biggest fan didn't belong to the Dallas scouting department. It was his old teammate and breakout rookie Ezekiel Elliott.

Jerry Jones made it clear hours after the pick:

Few things worse than when your enemies make a competent, low-risk high-reward decision like the Jones cabal made Saturday night. Oh, I was sick.

Sure, maybe Brown gets cut before the season starts and spends 2017 on Buffalo's practice squad. But I didn't abandon his swagwagon late in the season, and it wouldn't be Marionaire of me if I did so now.

If Brown doesn't end up in the Pro Bowl, you can expect me going down like this:

 O.G. PAULIE BROWN. Paul Brown is one of the silkiest figures in Ohio football. He turned Massillon Washington into a prep power and rectified Ohio State with a national championship. Of the two in-state NFL teams, one is most-likely named after him while he founded the other.

What I had never realized was how young Brown was when the local team tapped him.

From The Canton Repository:

After firing Schmidt, 63-year-old Ohio State Athletic Director Lynn St. John needed to convince himself that a 32-year-old high school coach could withstand the pressure of the big school in the big horseshoe. Their conversations included secret meetings in Wooster, where St. John had been a high school coach 30 years earlier.

St. John took note that this particular high school coach outscored the opposition 2,395-178 in his last six football seasons at Massillon.

Rumors flew as to who the next Buckeyes coach might be. Don Faurot, a rising college coach at Missouri, was one interesting candidate. Another was Wes Fesler, head coach at Wesleyan, which years later became Bill Belichick’s college team.

“I had no misgivings about making the leap from high school,” Brown wrote in his 1979 autobiography, “because I had total confidence in myself.”

Sounds as controversial as it will be when Ohio State athletics director Martin Jarmond taps a 32-year-old local blogger to pick up Urban Meyer's sword after Meyer retires as a five-time national champion in January 2019.

Don't worry, I won't have any misgivings, either. I'm too stupid not to think I can do any job with under 30 minutes of training.

But if Brown's story interest you, that article is a #goodread. (How could anybody read that and think his youngest son Noah isn't destined for NFL stardom?)

 MARCUS AND NAJEE GET THEIR SHOT. Current Buckeyes took the first step in realizing their NFL dreams this weekend. Some former Buckeyes made it too.

Akron defensive end Jamal Marcus signed as an undrafted free agent deal with the Almighty Browns:

Kent State cornerback Najee Murray signed with Cleveland, too:

Now that the Browns have discovered Akron and Kent State, it's only a matter of time before news of an even better football school just down the interstate reaches the shores of Berea. 

 POTTER SAYS THANKS FOR THE NEW HAT. Ohio State passed out iconic dabbing Brutus hats to students on Saturday night before the baseball Bucks played Nebraska. 

Some of y'all questioned my sartorial sense in that thread. As it turns out, I'm still a fellow #kid in touch with the #youth:

The local team won that game, 9-7, by the way. Not that Buckeye men's basketball center Micah Potter saw any of it: 

The only thing I would've done different than Potter is not be talented enough to be a recognizable basketball player.

 THOSE WMDs. Police using Fitbit records to build case against man accused of killing his wife... Video: MythBusters say Jack and Rose weren't smart... The most flamboyant figure in table tennis history... North Korea's dollar store... Four hearts and an NHS miracle.

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