Skull Session: Happy Valley Remains the Worst, the Evolving Quarterback Profile, and Assistant Worth

After last night's basketball game, I'm just glad Flava Flav is still alive. I was worried there for a minute.

ICYMI:

• Spring position battles not limited to the QB room.
• Former special teams standout Zach Turnure pursues his NFL dream.
• Forecasting the class of 2019.
• Video: Draymond Green pays $100 to Evan Turner to settle Ohio State–Michigan State betting account.
• Reserve your (or your business’) spot next to the life-size statue of Woody Hayes coming to Newcomerstown!

Word of the Day: Tonsorial.

 THE VALE OF TEARS. I figured the last-second loss to Penn State in the last match would have Ohio State's mind right for last night's rematch in Happy Valley. I prepared a five-course meal of ALDI dumpster meat for my feline army, and we dined as those navy blue bastards picked apart our beloved basketball team on the conference network.

From Dan Hope of Eleven Warriors:

Ohio State suffered its second loss to Penn State of the season, this time in convincing fashion, on Thursday night at the Bryce Jordan Center in State College, Pa., where the Nittany Lions defended their home court and thumped the Buckeyes, 79-56, also handing Ohio State just its second loss of the season in conference play.

Tony Carr, who beat the Buckeyes on a buzzer-beater and scored 28 points in the previous meeting in Columbus on Jan. 25, scored 30 points to lead the Nittany Lions to another victory on Thursday.

Ohio State fell into an early hole in Thursday's game – much like it did in its first meeting with Penn State and many of its other Big Ten games – as the Nittany Lions put together a 12-0 run that gave the home team an early 14-4 lead.

Unlike all of those other games, however, Ohio State fell into a hole that it couldn't claw its way back from.

At least this wasn't the shocker of the night, which belonged to Wisconsin's 57-53 sleeping of Purdue in Madison.

I would say I hope the Buckeyes catch the Lions in the B1G Tournament or the Really Big Tournament. Yet I remain unconvinced a rubber match would go the other way. For as much as Chris Holtmann has improved the program, Penn State clearly has his number right now.

 WHAT DOES IT MEAN? We don't yet know who will quarterback OSU when it takes the field against false flag OSU in September. We can surmise, however, the quarterback will possess the ability to "drive the ball vertically" as the big wigs love to say.

From landof10.com:

The signs have been there for a few years that coach Urban Meyer ideally would like to evolve his offense by adding more vertical passing elements. When Ohio State decided to stick with Cardale Jones following his national championship run, it wasn’t as much a reward for his performance as it was a glimpse at what Meyer seems to want from his quarterbacks as the next phase in his system. Jones provided a ridiculously strong arm to stretch the field, had the physical build to take hits or shrug them off in the pocket ― plus more mobility with his legs that people have given him acknowledged.

So, in some ways I think the pro-style tag is a bit of a misnomer when it comes to Jones, Dwayne Haskins or even early enrollee Matthew Baldwin. All three of those quarterbacks can move the football on the ground to varying degrees, whether it was Jones bowling over defenders in the postseason in 2014 or Haskins busting loose for a crucial 22-yard scramble in the comeback win over Michigan. Baldwin certainly doesn’t qualify as a true dual-threat, but the quarterback run game was a part of his playbook in high school at Lake Travis (Austin, Texas) and he has the ability to use his feet to get out of trouble.

Oh, even if Meyer's quarterback is in a wheelchair, he better be able to execute a draw in a pinch. 

Fans seem to be in the camp of the Dwayne Train or Tate Martell. Somehow Joe Burrow, the elder statesman, gets lost in the mix. 

I'm riding the Train until reality proves otherwise. Burrow as the backup could force Martell to more favorable pastures. 

 THAT'S TRUE. Urban Meyer is worth every penny Ohio State pays him because he's an elite CEO that oversees a multimillion dollar program. While two of his assistants will earn north of a million dollars this season, their true market value has yet to be determined.

From Doug Lesmerises of cleveland.com:

Right after the players, the head coach, the facilities, the NFL track record, the locker rooms, the alternate uniforms, the stadium, the fanbase, the national TV exposure and the flavor of the smoothies at the juice bar at the program headquarters, assistant coaches are the key to building a successful program.

This isn't an attack on assistant coaches, who obviously are the on-the-ground instructors, mentors and recruiters of the players who actually determine the fate of the team. They work long hours. They form strong bonds with the players they lead in meetings and on the field.

But they are the middle managers of the college football world, in an era where companies everywhere are cutting that middle layer of the workforce. For some reason, college football programs are hellbent on overpaying them, with Ohio State now joining the trend.

Well, it's not like they can pay the players with all this excess cash. The thread of society would collapse.

I see this as Pandora's Box. Mediocre teams like Texas A&M is throwing around $75 million guaranteed to a Florida dumpster fire magnate. If Greg Schiano walked to Ann Arbor for Michigan, Big Nut would install a junta within 72 hours.

There is no bottom to this well. 

 LAWYER BACKS CLIENT. The fortunes of Michigan's 2018 season could rest on a current case being litigated by the NCAA. 

This may shock you, but the lawyer of former Ole Miss quarterback Shea Patterson says the NCAA should let his client play next year.

From Kyle Rowland of The Toledo Blade:

Ole Miss has 10 business days to submit a statement supporting the request, opposing the request, or the school can choose not to respond. Ole Miss does not have to admit to or deny any allegations.

[...]

The NCAA’s ruling is expected two or three weeks after receiving Ole Miss’ response.

“As confident as I am that Shea will be granted a waiver, it becomes something close to a no-brainer if Ole Miss supports the waiver,” Mars said.

I hope they let him play. It will make the annual drumming of Michigan that much more entertaining.

 THOSE WMDs. 36 hours in Bangkok... New Jersey authorities charge seven with gun trafficking from Ohio... "An extraordinary man" who spent 1/3rd of his life wrongfully convicted in prison... The astronaut who might get us to Mars... What's the history of Old Beechwold?