Game Day Skull Session: Get Dumped Then, Maryland

Fear not folks, it's time for the annual squabble against the turtle people with the bad flag.

Nothing screams Big Ten football like a late-November matchup with a school that wishes it were still in the ACC. And honestly, that all checks out.

The Big Ten is staunchly divided between schools with fans wearing basketball jerseys to football games, and schools with fans wearing football jerseys to basketball games. Maryland fans are the rare breed wearing lacrosse pinnies to both and dipping out before halftime.

I'm not convinced there's a single Maryland fan that genuinely cares about this game, or this team, or this sport. I could say horrible, horrible things about this squad and not one person would come to their online defense because nobody cares, which is extremely un-B1G.

I even got a furious email from a raging Rutgers fan when I described their program as a "disaster" earlier in the year, which is one of the least controversial stances I've taken in a Skull Session. I can't imagine a Terrapin fan standing up for their team like that. Hell, I can't imagine a Terrapin fan.

Maryland's crowning football achievement will forever be holding a commitment from Dwayne Haskins for eight months before he hung them out to dry three weeks before national signing day. And now the local kid is going to napalm their ass in their own stadium while celebrating his own personal homecoming.

And this is all failing to mention Maryland's mascot: a turtle.

There are exactly five turtles I respect – four of them are crime-fighting, pizza-eating sewer dwellers named after Italian Renaissance artists, and one can count by twos and tie his shoes. None of those beloved reptiles will be roaming the sidelines for Maryland on Saturday.

There's not much good about the Terps. But hey, at least the Big Ten saved their athletic program and got that lucrative east coast viewing market in return just before the cable television bubble bursts.

Bucks by 30 today.

And as far as the rest of today's menu, enjoy the ever-delectable chickenshit Saturday from our pals down south.

Word of the Day: Slaughter.

 THAT 11W PREGAME FIX.

• Game Preview.
• Q&A with Maryland beat writer Emily Giambalvo.
• 10 Reasons to hate.
• Five Things to know.
• Roundtable.
• Game Poster.
• Game Trailer.
• Our picks against the spread.
• Baron Browning out again against Maryland.
• Ohio State is focused on Maryland, fighting against distractions. 
• Dwayne Haskins heads home to take on the team he was once committed to.

 ACTUALLY, DWAYNE HASKINS IS LEAVING. Earlier this week, Matt Miller wrote mentioned in an article that team sources told him Dwayne Haskins was planning to return to Ohio State after this season.

It switched! He's leaving, actually.

Miller is more than just backtracking on his report, he's doing a complete 180.

From Matt Miller of Bleacher Report:

Earlier this week, I posted my first Big Board of the season and included a note that Ohio State first-year starter Dwayne Haskins wasn't expected by school sources to declare for the upcoming draft. I've now heard differently.

Multiple sources reached out soon after it published and disclosed the offseason plans of Haskins. Barring injury or a massive drop-off in play down the stretch, the plan is for Haskins to leave for the NFL draft after this season.

Another underclassman quarterback expected to declare is Michigan's Shea Patterson. The source explained that Patterson and Haskins both feel they can drive their stock up in this class and will benefit by not competing with the 2020 group that includes Jake Fromm and Tua Tagovailoa. Patterson, a transfer from Ole Miss, also has prized recruit Dylan McCaffrey behind him on the depth chart and looking poised to play next fall. This could, of course, change, but currently, multiple sources expect Michigan to lose Patterson.

I think I've moved squarely into ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ territory with regards to Dwayne Haskins' future with Ohio State, and I recognize that's a pretty absurd thing to say about statistically the best passing quarterback the school has ever seen.

I just think whatever he decides will work out just fine for both the Buckeyes and Haskins. If he wants to stay for another year, great. Welcome back. If he doesn't, I get it. I've been mentally prepared for that for months, and the next man up is already getting meaningful game reps.

 CAN'T PLAY NOBODY! Today is the magical chickenshit Saturday in the SEC, where the conference takes a collective week off with a slew of FCS and decidedly overmatched opponents ahead of next weekend's rivalry games.

It's a slate you expect to see on the opening weekend, with Alabama taking on noted powerhouse The Citadel. And according to our pal Nick, it's because they can't find anyone else to play.

Nick Saban: I dont think anybody out there realizes the difficulties we have in scheduling, finding someone to play. Its really, really tough. Says nobody listens when he calls for 9-game conference schedule.

— Cecil Hurt (@CecilHurt) November 14, 2018

Here's the thing, I actually believe him that it's hard to find a quality non-conference opponent to play at the end of November, because everyone else is uh, busy trying to win their conference.

What I don't believe for a second is that he's doing a damn thing to fix it, because why would he? He's got a banged up Heisman Trophy frontrunner who just needs to survive two more games and they waltz into the playoff, and one of them is against the Citadel.

There's nothing about this system that's hurting him in any way at all.

 FIVE QUICK WINNERS. I went 2-2-1 last week. If either Boston College or Mississippi State manage one (1) offensive score, I would have had a winning week. Also, Virginia allowed 24 points to Liberty? At least Ohio State and Utah State came through relatively stress free.

I'm sitting at 25-29-1 on the year, a sweep away from living above .500. I remain optimistic that this is the week.

Ohio State -14 against Maryland

I think the casual college football fan thinks Ohio State really hasn't fixed anything from its loss to Purdue, based on two relatively ugly scores against Nebraska and Michigan State. But from actually watching the games, I think the Buckeyes sincerely have answered most of their questions on defense, the running game and in the red zone, and just need to put all the pieces together. This weekend is a great chance for that against a depleted Maryland team in pretty solid November weather.

Nebraska/Michigan State Under 48 Points

The weather conditions in Lincoln are going to be just miserable with a high in the 30s and 22 mph winds. Combine that with the fact that one of these teams has an extremely stout defense but shows no interest in scoring points in a game with regular weather and I am all over this under.

Utah State -28 against Colorado State

Utah State has been straight up hilarious this season because it seems like every week they're a huge favorite with more than 80 percent of the public riding them – which usually spells disaster, but not for the Aggies. Because the Aggies cover every damn week. They're a nation's-best 9-1 against the spread this year and usually cover comfortably. They're bound to go cold at some point, but I rode them to an easy win last week so I figure what the hell, let's try this again.

If you want to double up, the over is also 9-1 in Utah State games this season. I'm telling you, this team is the public's dream.

Notre Dame -10 against Syracuse

Look, I really hope I'm wrong, and will be actively rooting for me to be wrong, but I just don't think this game is going to be close. I want more than anything for Brian Kelly's squad to get dumped in Yankee Stadium while wearing Pinstripes, for some reason, but that's just not what's going to happen. Notre Dame is a drastically better team and I think we see that on the field.

Duke +28.5 against Clemson

I think this is the perfect opportunity for a letdown game from Clemson. The Tigers just played a tough road game on the road against Boston College, which is supposed to be their last real test before waltzing into the playoff, now they return home to face a sneaky good Duke team. Let me be clear, I don't think Duke is going to win this game, but I also don't think they lose by more than four touchdowns either. This is a team that handled the Big Ten West champs, after all.

 LINK LOCKER. An oral history of Nirvana "Unplugged"... How a selfie saved a man from 99 years in prison... Painting earns record $90.3 million for a living artist... Why 536 was "the worst year to be alive"... I found the best burger place in America. And then I killed it...

Would a possum make a good pet?