Welcome to another day on Earth. It's a pleasure to have you here.
Word of the Day: Germane.
BIG-ASS TRUCK. The first words Urban Meyer uttered to Jack Sawyer upon meeting the five-star prospect were "Damn, you're a big son of bitch." Now, he can say the same about his truck.
Courtesy of Mark Wahlberg Chevrolet in Columbus – yes, that Mark Wahlberg – Sawyer will be driving an absolutely gigantic hunk of metal this season as part of an endorsement deal with the dealership.
BIG thanks to @MarkWahlberg and the people @WahlbergChevy for the awesome @Chevrolet Silverado! Looking forward to a great season. GO BUCKS! pic.twitter.com/N6AQW03pmG
— Jack Sawyer (@jacksawyer40) August 10, 2021
I mean, it's no Holy Kombucham but it'll do. Congrats, Jack.
Also, just casually writing "Jack Sawyer gets a free truck" in the headline and that being perfectly fine and acceptable is definitely going to take some getting used to
FREAK. All it takes is a normal set of eyes and potentially a stopwatch to tell you that Master Teague is an absolute freak of an athlete.
The dude's got Billy Price's arms and Curtis Samuel's speed. So naturally, he cracks Bruce Feldman's annual freaks list.
19. Master Teague, Ohio State, running back
Called the biggest height/weight/speed Freak on a gifted team, 5-11, 225-pound Teague has produced some impressive numbers in the Buckeyes program, vertical jumping 40 inches, broad jumping 11 feet and clocking a 4.35 40. In his career in Columbus, Teague has run for 1,409 yards and 13 touchdowns. In 2020, three of his four touchdown runs were of 40 yards or more, really showcasing that terrific straight-line speed. In March, the Buckeyes Twitter account displayed a photo of just what a hulking figure Teague is.
Teague is absolutely deserving of this list, but it's now time for my annual rant about the most glaring snub in college football – how the hell did Zach Harrison not make the cut?
The dude is a 6-foot-6, 272 pound monster who moves so well he was the anchor in his team's 4x100 relay in high school and was the second-fastest player at The Opening camp coming out of high school. This list was basically invented for him.
BOOMSHAKALAKA. Duane Washington Jr. had himself one of those games where scoring is like throwing a rock in the ocean – he could not miss.
Dude hit his first seven shots of the game, finishing 8-for-9 from the field with 23 points.
.@dwizthekid4 led the Pacers in scoring today pic.twitter.com/xRfazqv0F6
— NBA G League (@nbagleague) August 9, 2021
I know a lot of Ohio State fans seem to only remember the bad parts of his streaky scoring, but the times when he played like a sentient video game cheat code were fun as hell and will be certainly missed, especially when the Buckeyes do the thing where nobody hits a bucket for six minutes.
GOODBYE, DREAM SCHOOL. Four-star offensive lineman Ryan Jacoby entered his name in the transfer portal yesterday, and I can assure you he did not do it lightly. Because Ohio State was his absolute dream school.
Really, he didn’t expect any of this.
He never imagined he’d ever sign papers to play for the Buckeyes. Until seventh grade, he didn’t even think he’d ever play football.
“It's surreal, honestly,” Jacoby told Eleven Warriors on Wednesday. “I could never have imagined how well it went. It feels like I'm in a dream. It's crazy.”
Personally, I applaud him for making the tough decision the same way I applaud him for coming to Ohio State in the first place.
And to be honest, with the ease of the transfer process these days, I don't think there's any harm at all in guys like him chasing his Buckeye dreams. He got to be a Buckeye, he got to wear the uniform, he got to fight for a roster spot, and even though it became clear that he didn't really have a path to playing time, he'll likely be even better off now as he joins a new program.
But all in all, I wish him the best. He'll forever be a Buckeye. Nobody can take that away from him now.
SONG OF THE DAY. "Are You Bored Yet?" by Wallows ft. Clairo.
NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. The forgotten case of the Liberty City Seven... Why are porn ads telling you to put apple cider vinegar on your penis?... Why sex workers are taking to social media... The fugitive and the chameleon...
