This is a weekly spotlight that highlights a trash football tradition of Ohio State's upcoming opponent. And even though the Buckeyes' matchup against Michigan was tragically canceled, we're not wasting an opportunity to take a swing at that team up north.
And while it's admittedly difficult to roast a basketball school in this setting, I'll give it my best shot.
It's a shame Ohio State didn't get the chance to put a bow on the worst season of Michigan football since 2008. The Wolverines were limping down the stretch, boasting only wins over 2-4 Minnesota and Rutgers, which was secured in triple overtime.
The lowlights have been delicious. They gave bragging rights back to little brother by allowing Rocky Lombardi to throw for 323 hilarious yards and three touchdowns against no interceptions. Then they were thoroughly thumped by Indiana and Wisconsin before giving previously winless Penn State its first victory of the year.
That was the lead up to Jim Harbaugh's sixth attempt to secure a win against the Buckeyes as head coach of the Wolverines. Ohio State was favored as if it were facing off against a MAC squad, with oddsmakers giving the Buckeyes 30 points.
We'll never know how macabre the scene would have been in Columbus this Saturday, which is ironically devastating because it would highlight how far Harbaugh and Michigan are from competing at a championship level.
And speaking of that...
Tradition's Origin
At the end of the 1968 season, Ohio State was celebrating a 50-14 win over rival Michigan in which Woody Hayes famously went for two instead of kicking an extra point near the end of the blowout. That punched the Buckeyes' ticket to the Rose Bowl, where they beat USC and were named national champs.
Michigan moved on from head coach Bump Elliott and brought in some MAC guy named Bo Schembechler. Several players left the program, and Schembechler promised "Those who stay will be champions."
It only took one year for that prediction to come true.
An early defeat to a good Missouri team and an upset loss to Michigan State were the only blemishes Michigan had when it faced off against No. 1 Ohio State, which was riding a 22-game win streak and the favorite to repeat as national champs.
But Schembechler led the Wolverines to one of the biggest upsets in the rivalry, beating the Buckeyes 24-12 to win a share of the Big Ten title, as well as the league's bid to the Rose Bowl.
It became the first game in a series often referred to as "The 10 Year War," and "Those who stay will be champions" became an officially recognized cornerstone of Michigan's tradition.
Why It's Trash
Because it's a lie.
Or at least, it has been for nearly two decades now.
The last time Michigan won the Big Ten was in 2003, and unsurprisingly, that was the Wolverines' last win over an Ohio State team that wasn't led by an interim head coach (which makes you think, for sure).
Michigan has brought in three different head coaches during this stretch, and each just slightly improved the mediocrity of the program. Harbaugh was supposed to be the Wolverines' savior, but his program seems to be regressing like a weird football version of Benjamin Button.
Despite that, Harbaugh had Michigan on the brink of the Big Ten Championship Game on two occasions — 2016 and 2018 — and we all know how those efforts hilariously collapsed in on themselves.
And that brings us to the current day, where Michigan is staring at the possibility of playing in the last-place game in the Big Ten's crazy COVID-19 season. That is, of course, if the Wolverines have enough players to even field a team after canceling the last two games of their season.
So Ohio State will move on to the Big Ten title game for a showdown with Northwestern, which is making its second appearance in Indianapolis. That is, for the record, two more times than Michigan represented its division in the title game.
There are kids around the country getting their driver's license who have never witnessed Michigan winning a Big Ten title. None of the players who have filtered through the Wolverines program during that span have been able to call themselves champions.
You just absolutely love to see it.
