The Eleven Dubcast was created as a result of an offhanded conversation I had via IM with a few other 11W guys way back in the heady days of 2010, when Eleven Warriors was an internet backwater that mainly served as a depository for Mark May jokes and an endless parade of my horrible MS Paint creations. I mean, sure, we tried hard. But we were a few major scandals and successes from being the media empire that you see before you today.
Anyway, when I suggested that we create a podcast, it was mainly because I envisioned myself as some kind of genius combination of Marc Maron and Edward R. Murrow. As it turns out, I am not that.
But despite my proclivity towards burning through co-hosts like so many tissue paper lanterns ringing a negligent parent's poorly-maintained hot tub, the Dubcast persists, defying all logic and reason.
And it's all thanks to you guys. 2015 was very good to the Dubcast; more people listened than ever before, and, more to the point, we got some incredible Ask Us Anything questions throughout the year. Here are the 11 best in chronological order, and in the interest of not sounding like an idiot for once I've decided to revisit each answer.
11. CalPoppy Wants To Know The Process
How much audio do you capture to create an episode? Do you just record things once and edit? Do you need 2 hours of audio for an hour of podcast? What’s the process?
Generally what you hear is what we recorded. Michael and I will BS to a certain degree before we start recording, but for the most part we try to keep edits minimal. Neither Michael or myself are able to record much earlier than 7:30 at night, and since the process of recording/editing/creating a Dubcast post takes somewhere around two to three hours, neither of us really have the desire to stay up past midnight doing it.
I still do, because I'm nothing if not an all-time great procrastinator, but I try not to for the most part.
Prior to the night we record (usually Tuesday nights), we try and line up a guest for the show. This can take a while, especially where former players are concerned. We record through Skype (which can be a very dodgy proposition) using a program called Pamela, and we try to keep each segment (intro/AUA, Matt Finkes, second interview, closing question) to around 15-20 minutes. We then take the raw audio file and import it into Audacity, a pretty cool and free audio editing program, edit as much as we have to, and then upload the finished product into Soundcloud and into your ears. While that's processing I usually write the incredible post which is obviously the only reason why anyone clicks on a Dubcast in the first place.
10. Aaron L. Has Dolo Q's
Cardale's press conference was an hour ago. So my question is: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??!? Don't get me wrong, I'm pumped, but why have a presser at all? Was this just a giant troll move? Did Tyvis put him up to this? I feel we need answers.
I love this question because it perfectly sums up my reaction to Cardale's press conference. It was befuddling and hilarious and to this day I still don't really know the purpose of the entire thing. Yes, it would've been nice if Cardale had come out this season like gangbusters and made that presser all the more enjoyable in retrospect, but as a piece of football theater it was hard to match.
Also: 100% Tyvis' idea. Had to be, right?
9. Jim Trusts Us Entirely Too Much
I will take you up on that engagement ring advice. What kind of ring should I get, you know, style wise? Also, should I go with a conflict free diamond, cubic zirconia, or just a blood diamond?
Simple. Classy. Lord of the Rings reference if at all possible.
Also, just get a lab grown diamond. De Beers is an evil, evil company and given that diamonds are common as hell anyway, it's stupid to buy into a narrative that serves to line the pockets of millionaires and exploits the desperately poor.
8. Greg M Plays Pokemon And Is My Internet Best Friend
If Urban Meyer was a Pokémon gym leader, which gym would he lead?
Greg will appear several times on this list, and for good reason. This is a pretty high contender for my favorite question of the year, mostly because it reminded me of this, which, not coincidentally, is also my answer to this question.
7. Greg M Wants You To Get Fat
What is your advice for someone going through an existential crisis? How much ice cream are you allowed to eat during one of these? Is the ice cream even real?
If you are going through an existential crisis, keep going. Don't stop, because an existential crisis is a crisis of the mind; if you linger too long, you'll never get out. Do something positive, get something done. It doesn't even matter what. Go to the gym, read a book, clean a room, whatever. Your mind is stuck in a feedback loop of sadness and you need something positive to break out of it.
Ice cream is allowed, but ironically only as a reward for pulling out of an existential crisis. Also I'm lactose intolerant so ice cream had better not be real in my case or else the five hours I'll have to spend on the toilet absolutely will be.
6. Matt Lives In An 80's Movie
So does Joey Bosa look more like the guy who walks into a bar and shamelessly hits on your girlfriend and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, or, does Zeke Elliot look more the guy who's always at the front of the lunch line in the cafeteria?
To be completely honest... it's an apt descriptor of both.
5. Curt Needs You To Keep Your Eyes On The Road
I hate texting and driving, especially when you see that Texty McGee has kids in the backseat. I've been watching The Dark Knight a lot lately and am inspired to be a Cleveland version of a vigilante. What can I keep in my front seat that I can throw out the window of my speeding car that will get the attention of a texter but not cause a car crash? Bonus points if it's something cheap that I can replenish my stock because vigilantism doesn't pay well.
I may have mentioned this in the Dubcast, but if you want to play an especially terrifying game, take a look at the drivers of the cars around you the next time you're stopped at a light and make a mental note of how many people you see messing with their phones. THEN MAKE A NOTE OF THEIR LICENSE PLATE NUMBERS AND CALL THE POLICE (after you have safely pulled over to the side of the road).
Anyway Curt, I'm not sure that your "throwing things" plan will be all that effective, but those sticky toys that destroy both fabric and paint might be a solid choice.
4. Patrick Sees All, Knows All
B1G COY. An Ohio State coach has famously not won this since Earl Bruce in 1979. The intervening years have seen an assembly line of far less deserving coaches receive recognition. What does it take to be so (un)worthy, and is repeating as an undefeated wire to wire number one enough? Or is a 10-win Pat Fitzgerald-led Northwestern team going to steal our glory away? Or worse, should Kirk Ferentz get his speech ready for his fourth win?
3. Greg M Tests the Limits Of The Geneva Convention
Is listening to Nickelback a form of torture AND if so, is it morally objectionable to use it against our worst enemies?
Greg's interesting Ask Us Anything innovation this year was his Philosophical Question of the Week, which delighted me to no end because I very much enjoy these types of hypothetical questions, and also because it led to some very deep and important discussions that have shaped me as a human being.
For instance, the answer to both of these questions is yes, but not just because Nickelback is a terrible band, but also because they are Canadian, and current international treaties probably do not have a provision to accommodate music of mass destruction. This question goes beyond mere moral concerns and into the realm of international law. The Hague might eventually get involved with this hypothetical.
2. Mitchellr15 Is Worried About Breakfast
How are each of you responding to the WHO's new classification of bacon and processed meats in relation to cancer?
Briefly thinking about changing my eating habits, and then choosing to ignore science in favor of the much more authoritative "yeah but it tastes good" peer-reviewed research that I've been conducting for the past 30 years.
1. Jason's Daughter Is ONE Of US, ONE OF US
I have a six month old daughter. What's is the best way to teach her to hate Michigan with the white hot passion of a thousand suns?
I mentioned this in the Dubcast, but dupe her into thinking that she lives a world where Ohio State has little to no success against Michigan, and then tell her that she's watching the Michigan game every year but really just show her the 1995 edition of The Game every time.
That should do the trick.
Again, thanks to everyone who wrote in to us, but I especially want to thank Greg M., one of our most loyal and creative listeners. You are the real Dubcast MVP, sir, and I'm glad that this post finally affords me the opportunity to showcase one of your beautiful embedded e-mail images. I'm not sure if you created this yourself, but I really hope that's the case.
Either way man, thanks for all of your great questions and input. And the same to the rest of you! Alvin, CalPoppy, John H., on and on and on, thanks for all your awesome input. The Dubcast is a grind, but you all make it worthwhile. See you guys next week for our Fiesta Bowl preview!
