FourLoko, originally an unholy combination of caffeine and malt liquor, burst onto the scene a few years ago. It didn't last long either, because kids started dying after embarking on the foolish endeavor of FourLoko benders.
Of course, the DEA only cracked down on the combination of malt liquor and alcohol. FourLoko survived, if only in watered-down version.
But, "people," for whatever reason, still drink the alcohol/sugar-spiked sewer water, and one of those people apparently has a class with Ohio State linebacker Josh Perry:
A classmate of mine opened a Four Loko in the middle of a speech he was giving and drank some. No lie! #StandingOvation
— Joshua Edward Perry (@RIP_JEP) December 3, 2014
I don't know the context of the student's speech, but, uh, I'm pretty sure "sipping a FourLoko before 10 a.m. is a calling card of alcoholism. Hopefully, this isn't the beginning of the FourLoko Uprising, which was long ago prophesied by fundamental FourLoko clerics.
Because if it is, the thread of society may no longer be the same.
Source: @RIP_JEP
