Ah, fall camp has finally opened. It's always marked by one of the odder traditions of Buckeye fans: flocking to photo galleries to ogle muscle-strapped 17-22 year-olds carrying luggage and listening to headphones while "checking in" to camp.
And yes, as I confirmed the other night through members of three other Buckeye outlets, there is quite the demand for these pictures. What gives? Are people really that football starved by early August? I mean, I guess I just watched a half of the Hall of Fame game, and preseason NFL football is an abomination, but at least it's actual football and not pictures of teenagers carrying luggage.
Granted, I'm not claiming to be THE NUMBER ONE BUCKNUT IN THE WORLD, like the guy whose house is Scarlet and Grey but has never stepped foot inside an Ohio State classroom, but I just don't see it. There are many things about Ohio State fans that leave me scratching my head, and the fascination with these types of photos is probably at the top of the list. Regardless, the Buckeyes' quest for their first national title since 2002 has officially begun. (If you want pictures from camp of players actually doing football things, our photography don dada Walton Keys has you covered.)
ALSO: There are 117 days until Ohio State wrecks that clown-show up north.
OSU FIRES NEW VOLLEY IN FACILITIES ARMS RACE. Everybody was enamored of Oregon's football fantasy factory the Ducks unveiled last week, but Ohio State has never been one to let their facilities degrade. There's a new addition to the Woody Hayes Athletic Center, per a release from Ohio State:
When the players arrived at the Woody this morning they had breakfast in the player’s lounge and then on the way to their locker room they walked by their new Gatorade Fuel Bar, which wasn’t completed when they left for their short break on Wednesday. The fuel bar features all stainless steel cabinets and appliances, an eight-stool seating area, five leather recliners, two rather large HD flat screen televisions and ample display and storage space for nutrition/energy bars and sports fuel drinks, shakes and thirst quenchers. Ahhhhh!
The venerable Jerry Emig tweeted out this picture:
For whatever reason, I am now craving a Gatorade. Related: This is where The Gold Pants Social is going down. Do you have your ticket?
HATERZ TARGET JOHNNY FOOTBALL. According to Darren Rovell, who took a break from informing the public about what athlete's make by the second, the NCAA has opened an investigation into Johnny Football potentially profiting from his own signature, to which I say: I hope he made four billion dollars.
For people flabbergasted somebody with as much money as Johnny Manziel could be greedy, I'd like to show Example 1A) Billionaire Bernard L. Madoff siphoning billions of more dollars through a ponzi scheme.
I would also like to tip my cap to Johnny Manziel for offering another opportunity to point out what a complete sham the NCAA's definition of amateurism is. The fact Johnny Manziel can't profit off his own signature is almost as hysterical as it is pathetic. I still haven't heard a moral indictment of why it's wrong to accept money from people who want to give it to you or trade your signature for cash. This is not a radical opinion, and I'm not trying to present it as such, but it's hilarious Johnny Manziel having a side-hustle is apparently more of a harm to the integrity of the game than North Carolina basically making up classes for athletes.
Hopefully Johnny wasn't dumb enough to accept checks in return for his (alleged) signatures, because any influx of cash into his bank account could be explained by his dad being disgustingly rich. I didn't think my bro-crush on Johnny Football could get any larger, and yet, here we are. STAY FROSTY, JOHNNY, AND DON'T LET THESE HYPOCRITICAL MONEY-CHANGERS TEAR YOU DOWN.
ALABAMA'S RECRUITING PITCH: 51 MILLION DOLLARS. No, no, I assure you this headline wasn't born of fruit I found laying on the ground. This does, however, clarify another level of Alabama recruiting (that players will have success beyond bull-dozing the college ranks):
Touché, Nick Saban, touché. Ohio State has certainly been lacking in representation in the NFL draft the last two years, but that will surely change as Urban Meyer's recruits take the reins of the program. (Also tangentially related: this Alabama fan's awful tattoo with a typo. #ROLLDAMNTIDE.)
THOSE WMDs. DMX - Where the Hood at? (Explicit)... The excellent David Roth on what even Riley Cooper knows... Frontline: Al Qaeda in Yemen... Jadeveon Clowney flipped a blocking sled... How Commodore Perry gained legend status on Lake Erie during the War of 1812... The Game of Thrones food blog is both disgusting and awesome... O-H-I-O cheer takes over Michigan Stadium... Reminder: General Sherman used kids' gloves on the South during his march to the sea... Dennis Dodd with a terrible #sprothottake on Johnny Football... Condom maker breaks down penis size by state; Ohio checks in at 38, Columbus 14th in rank-by-city... Who the hell feeds their 3-year-old Taco Bell anyway?... Stephanie S. took the time to give the 9-11 memorial a 1-star review on Yelp... An 11-year-old American has signed with Real Madrid... Pay-It-Forward Funding of Colleges Coming to Ohio?...
