SUNDAY
Campus Cleveland fans wore both their Braylon Edwards and Grady Sizemore jerseys.
Ohio State clinched the B1G Leaders division.
And an edgy freshman played cello during quiet hours.
MONDAY
Campus Steelers fans all went back to being Browns fans.
The OSU police announced it would use its new military vehicle to enforce the Oval walk zone.
And anatomy students used their Monday afternoon lecture to study the backs of their eyelids.
TUESDAY
Interim President Alutto announced that if he had any sort of control, he wouldn't shut down OSU's government.
Students reacted to the cessation of the American government system by immediately making fun of it.
Advice: How to combat midterm stress.
Rent-A-Fence admitted it was out of fences.
And campus Cincinnati fans couldn't believe one of their teams lost in the first round of the playoffs.
WEDNESDAY
OSU Student Wellness began offering free vibrating massagers, you know, the kind for your back.
Les Wexner further expanded his empire by purchasing the AMC Lennwex theater.
And a failing art major's project grade was also not a pretty picture.
THURSDAY
An Oval glass art sale was probably hiding a few bongs in there.
A professor with a Ph.D was unable to understand the "ad before video" feature of YouTube.
A student struggled to open an umbrella en route to an exam on simple machines.
Ohio State announced it would switch to a live athletic mascot.
And we talked smack with Northwestern's satire paper.
FRIDAY
Students worried about the north campus transformation were relieved to remember it only took Ohio State 3 years to dig holes in south campus.
And we asked readers where the best party was Friday night so we could come ruin it.
SATURDAY
Freshmen used family weekend to show off their cool parents to everyone in the dorm.
Northwestern students took a short study break to study the rules of football.
Northwestern's band accidentally made a sideways Z.
Ohio State's wishes were "Grant"ed.
Carlos Hyde was dismissed from the team following a late Saturday night assault of 11 men.
OSU won a road night game by double digits against a ranked opponent but was it enough.
And Cameron Johnston totally got his Didgeridoo sucked after the game.
The Fake Lantern is the fake student voice of The Ohio State University. You should follow them on Twitter: @TheFakeLantern.
