For those who don't watch Michigan football, which is frankly something I don't recommend doing if you were considering it, one of the things that you might need to understand is that the actual games they play are kind of meaningless in light of the week's worth of anticipation that occurs beforehand. In other words, their games are essentially a three and a half hour long punchline to a seven day joke.
"Ha ha Michgan is a joke," okay yes, that's true, but that's not really what I'm saying. Under Jim Harbaugh, the Michigan football program has become so ridiculously inconsistent and rudderless that whatever their effort was in the previous game plus the week's worth of anticipation based on said effort leads to the unexpected conclusion that is whatever happens in the the next game. This is the basic structure of a joke. Setup plus anticipation plus ironic/unexpected payoff.
I mean, it's funny to me. If you've foolishly allowed yourself to become emotionally invested in a particular outcome of said joke, then I don't know what to tell you other than "quit thinking you're going to get what you want."
Michigan, as is their wont, looked kind of good in a game before they played a rival. Then, as is also their wont, they lost in utterly uninspired fashion against said rival. At some point you need to start blaming Charlie Brown instead of Lucy.
THREAT LEVEL
Okay, so, Michigan State quarterback Rocky Lombardi threw for 323 yards on just 17 completions while beating the Wolverines 27-24 on Saturday. And you're thinking "well that's terrible, but we knew going into the season that their secondary was going to be at least a little assy."
And you'd be right, but this is exacerbated by the fact that Michigan's safeties coach, Bob Shoop, apparently hasn't been actually coaching or something? Maybe for a while?
"Bob Shoop is not working with the team in an on-field coaching capacity at this time," a team spokesperson said in a statement. "He is performing team-related duties remotely. In consideration of his privacy interests, we will have no further comment."
For the time being, 247Sports has learned that defensive analyst Aashon Larkins has filled in for Shoop in his absence.
So that's fun. What's even better is Lombardi was pretty much just throwing to one dude over and over; wideout Ricky White had 196 yards receiving and a touchdown, and the Wolverines were utterly helpless to stop him. Overall the Michigan defense accounted for a grand total of two tackles for loss and zero sacks. I am contractually obligated to note that Tommy Togiai, a singular Ohio State defensive tackle, had three sacks alone against Penn State.
Joe Milton threw 51 freaking times and yes, he hit that magical 300 yard mark and along with it five dollars off any purchase at Blimpy Burger, but 5.9 yard per attempt is doo doo. But hey, you lose a game at home to a rival, there's really no option but to take the high road and admit that you were bested by the better team.
Michigans Joe Milton was asked if he knew MSUs Antjuan Simmons was so good.
— Brad Galli (@BradGalli) October 31, 2020
I wasnt really worried about him. Hes a heck of a player, but he wasnt really on my radar, he said. pic.twitter.com/pLOZ7dyiFZ
Antjuan Simmons is a Sparty linebacker who had 11 tackles, .5 TFLs, and two pass breakups, meaning that he was a more valuable defender than anyone wearing maize and blue. So while I'm not an expert, Joe, my advice would be to stop trying for the catty Mariah Carey dunk on a player and team that just kicked your ass and win an important game for once.
Jim Harbaugh is 1-6 at home against Michigan State and Ohio State since he saved Michigan football with a combination of milksteak and khaki pants. One of his coaches isn't coaching, his defensive guru couldn't figure out a way to stop a quarterback named Rocky throwing to literally one wideout named Ricky, and his running game is cribbed from Alsace-Lorraine circa 1916.
After the game a lot of national and local writers went in on Harbaugh for sucking ass, saying he's failed at Michigan and should be fired. Michigan sites and boards are aflame, and everyone is generally pretty pissy. My only take on that is: welcome to the party, baby!
The Threat Level is LOW.
