I vividly remember the coaching search that brought Rich Rodriguez to Michigan.
Mostly because of its most notable failure. Les Miles, a Michigan Man who at the time had an established record of competence (and yeah, weirdness) and was choice numero uno among Wolverine fans, never got a serious look in part because of administrative hubris and in part because Michigan boosters are giant crybaby wieners.
You can read a recap by yours truly here, but my larger point is that the lesson I took from that saga was this: institutionally Michigan football only ever succeeds in spite of themselves. The eventual choice Rich Rod to replace Lloyd Carr was, at the time, a weird but decent hire, and literal books have been written about how Michigan hamstrung him at every opportunity. Subsequently, Brady Hoke was a bad choice who was initially buoyed by having the right pedigree and a decent first season.
Jim Harbaugh is a combination of both; he's an abject weirdo who activates the nostalgia reflex for Michigan fans, and has had limited success (kind of). But he's also really, really bad at key aspects of his job and can't beat even slightly good teams.
And now his contract, which pays him a trillion billion dollars in gold bullion annually, is almost up. Michigan has a choice.
THREAT LEVEL
Oh, and before we get into all of this, I don't even know as of this writing if The Game is going to be played on Saturday. The Wolverines didn't play against Maryland because of COVID cases, and that may extend into this week as well. The scuttlebutt is that the outlook is grim; the Buckeyes may need to look for another opponent. On the other hand, the outlook for Ohio State/Michigan State looked grim until about halfway through last week, so who hell knows.
What I do know is this, which is hilarious because not one single person could argue with it:
Ohio State has opened as a 30-point favorite over Michigan.
— ESPN College Football (@ESPNCFB) December 6, 2020
This is the largest point spread in the rivalry in at least 40 years. pic.twitter.com/rH9wUwHYQl
Anyway, Jim Harbaugh.
Option one is that the dude has been offered a contract extension, somehow, for some reason. I don't get it either but I'm just the messenger.
Well, it looks as though athletic director Warde Manuel isn’t ready to make a change and while there have been rampant rumors about Harbaugh, this latest insider info comes from Chris Balas at Rivals (subscription required) who reports a three-year deal could be done or in the works.
Cool, cool, cool. Things certainly aren't getting any better for Michigan, but if they give 20 or so million dollars to Harbaugh maybe they won't get any worse but of course they probably will. I don't need to point out the myriad ways that this would a hilariously terrible thing for Michigan to do, especially since doing so might speak it into existence out of spite. I'm so, so tired of this clown and his boring, unimaginative program. Maybe Michigan isn't.
Option two is that Harbaugh doesn't give them the chance to do something that stupid.
Per multiple sources, Harbaugh is believed to be eyeing a return to the NFL, as a head coach.
Another source said that teams are doing their homework on Harbaugh, who instantly took the 49ers to the NFC Championship and who nearly led the team to a Super Bowl win in his second season with the team.
I've long thought that the NFL exists mostly as a multi-decade experiment to confirm the Peter Principle; the current iteration of this study is the presence of Bret Bielema as a linebackers coach for the New York Giants. Anyway, if you're asking whether or not an NFL team would seriously entertain bringing Harbaugh in after *gestures wildly at the last six years* the answer is yes, they would. Because the NFL and all of the teams in it are aggressively stupid.
The final option, unspoken and correct, is for Michigan to fire Jim Harbaugh. I want to believe that they're smart enough to do it, that the universe can occasionally make sense, that sometimes organizations swimming in piles of cash can make good choices instead of burning it. I also want a pony.
The Threat Level this week, whether there's a Game or a new coach or a new contract, is -459.67 degrees Fahrenheit: absolute zero.
That's LOW.
