Twitter Reactions: The Great A'Tuin Knows All

By Johnny Ginter on November 15, 2015 at 8:30 am
Here comes trouble!
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Same, Mark!

Here's something that you may not know about the Ohio State/Illinois rivalry: they've played the Illini more than any other team in college football. More than Wisconsin, more than Indiana, more than the Michigan freaking Wolverines, the Fighting Illini is in fact our oldest and most constant rival, with a rich history built up through decades of turtle-related animosity.

But you'd be forgiven if you've forgotten most of that. Ohio State is 17-4 in their last 21 games against Illinois, and though I vividly remember a particularly awful 2007 loss (it was my last game in the Shoe as a student), it historically holds a 68-30 win advantage in the matchup. That's pretty horrible on the part of Illinois, but this rivalry has something very awesome and neat that you will not find anywhere else on this cold, barren planet: a wooden turtle. A got-dang wooden turtle.

Rivalries mean little if one side is a doormat. This is why I always root for Michigan to be competent and good and successful (outside of The Game and outside of when it'd be really funny if they lost); I want to play a team in a game that means something from both an emotional and empirical perspective. Illinois, by being bad for a long time, has failed to hold up their end on both counts. But Illibuck, a medium-sized wooden turtle that only exists because we accidentally killed the original live turtle that was emblematic of the contest, makes up for that. Illibuck is great because it represents the kind of "ah who cares how dumb this sounds, it'll be fun!" attitude that makes college football roughly ten thousand times more interesting and cool than the NFL.

College football is about coeds making stupid pun-related diss signs, flea flickers, marching bands, unforgivable mental errors, 400 yard rushing games, a little brown jug, an oversized axe, a ridiculous statue of Paul Bunyan, and one awkward looking wooden turtle that was probably made as a joke that people forgot the punchline to. So as Kenneth Parcell once said, haters to the left. Every game-related Tweet in this post will be coupled with an enthusiastic homage to our tree-based Testudines friend.

Barrett back! Again! J.T. was... okay. He was not helped by an offensive line and more specifically a right tackle that functioned more like a sieve than a wall during passing plays, but he might've also been trying to shake off his suspension by pressing a little too hard on some plays. 15/23 for 150 yards passing isn't particularly impressive, but 74 additional yards rushing always looks nice on the stat sheet. What stands out for me is that even a mediocre Barrett can give you something that Cardale just can't right now, which is a confidence that the quarterback will figure out a way to win even when that path isn't so clear.

And yes, there is an extreme irony typing that when Cardale Jones remains unbeaten as a starter.

But really, the story of the day was the defense and Joey "I'm a truck" Bosa. Aside from several large passing plays that made the defensive backs look amateurish, the defense completely hamstrung the Illini offense, and that was largely on the back of a supreme performance by the defensive line.

They held Illinois to just 20 yards of net rushing, which during the Tressel years I just assumed was the norm for good defenses and not the complete insanity that it actually is.

And seriously man, Joey Bosa. He's the best defender in the country right now and it's not particularly close. A half sack and three tackles for loss are great (although they won't give anyone the vapors), but the sheer chaos that the guy brings on every single play, the way that he must be accounted for by at least a double team on every snap, and the amount of bruises that quarterbacks have to count after every game shows the worth of the man.

And finally, Zeke. He moved into third all time rushing at Ohio State, and if you want to hand wave away his record as a product of having played in more games, know this: despite being third in rushing yards, he's only 15th in attempts. His 6.8 career yards per carry is the highest among any Ohio State player with more than 100 carries. His level of consistency and excellence is something that we haven't seen for a very long time at his position.

So all in all, a decent game. A good game, even. But Sparty looms, and The Game after that. The two game season that we always knew that this would be is upon us. Luckily we're Jalyn Holmes and 0.

And the best thing about Jalyn Holmes and 0 is the opportunity to go Vonn Bell and 0.

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