Former Ohio State cornerback Eli Apple is 20 years-old, so it wouldn't be a shocker if it were revealed he can't cook. Most college students can't cook, which is is how urban legends like "the freshman 15" came into existence.
But unfortunately for Apple, he's trying to enter THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, a league comprised of GROWN MEN.
While cooking and playing cornerback in the pass-first era of the NFL would seemingly have nothing in common, it's only because most people weren't gifted minds like those that belong to anonymous NFL scouts.
Last week, one said Cardale Jones "reminded him of a poor man's JaMarcus Russell," which was at least an asinine #take based on football ability. An anonymous scout raised the bar on Wednesday when he revealed he didn't like Apple because he has "no life skills" like cooking.
From The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:
3. ELI APPLE, Ohio State (6-0 ½, 202, 4.39, 1): Third-year sophomore from Voorhees, N.J. "He got beat probably more than you want but he's got tremendous upside," said one scout. "He is too young (20) to be coming out but he is so you've got to project what he's going to be. I think he's going to be a pretty high-level starter." Started 27 games, finishing with 86 tackles (7 ½ for loss), 4 picks and 18 PBUs. "Some there (OSU) were worried he wouldn't break 4.6 and then popped the (4.39)," said another scout. "They were surprised he ran that well. I worry about him because of off-the-field issues. The kid has no life skills. At all. Can't cook. Just a baby. He's not first round for me. He scares me to death." Wonderlic was 21. "He probably has as much talent as anybody but he, like a lot of those Ohio State guys, is inconsistent," said a third scout. "He squats, and receivers run by him. He's more in catch-up mode than reaction mode. He bothers me a little bit."
It didn't take long before word reached Camp Apple. Apple's mother, Annie, took to Twitter in her son's defense:
We dont respond to anonymous people & things. They're not real to us. What's real is this amazing dream our son is living rite now. #GoBucks
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 27, 2016
Btw, Eli's dad is a retired five star chef. We eat well. So stop playing with our name. Next time you say our name, put some respeck on it
— Annie Apple (@SurvivinAmerica) April 27, 2016
What sort of dishes does this son of a retired five-star chef have in his arsenal? Ezekiel Elliott testified early Thursday afternoon:
Eli has made me some fire fried chicken and mac and cheese. The source seems to be pretty unreliable
— EzekielElliott#15 (@EzekielElliott) April 27, 2016
Exquisite fried chicken and macaroni and cheese. What else could an NFL scout possibly expect a 20-year-old college student to know how to cook?
Last, but not least, Bradley Roby weighs in with real talk:
I can't cook either ! Maybe hot pockets at best lol .. And I'm a SUPERBOWL CHAMPION .
— Bradley Roby (@BradRoby_1) April 27, 2016
