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Let's talk about Bloody Beer.
Oh, I'm sorry, you probably wanted to hear about how Beau and I broke down the Bowling Green game and geeked out about the most dominant offensive performance in the history of Ohio State, or maybe about the insane weekend of college football that we just watched, or maybe you wanted to listen to us dance on the grave of SEC football, which is now assuredly so chastened after a horrible weekend that they'll all mutually agree to devote their energies toward something more culturally constructive, like playwriting or hunting boa constrictors or something.
Ask Us Anything, you say? Yes, there were questions this week (which you can send via e-mail or Twitter), and yes, we did answer them.
And you'll get that in due time, but I combined Clamato and beer in one glass and then drank it so you're going to have to sit right here and read about it.
APPEARANCE
The classic amber of America's favorite beer-like drink – beer – slowly gave way to the bright red, Saturday-morning-cartoons-in-the-summer hue of the Clamato, a drink that I had literally never heard of until last week. As the bubbles and froth became less pronounced (I assume a side effect of the clam juices now in my glass), the Bloody Beer took on the look of an adult version of what might be served at your nephew's sixth birthday party. It was fun, festive and exciting to behold.
4/5
AROMA
The relatively cheap beer that I bought to complete the recipe is likely purposefully distilled for minimum odor, and as a result the Clamato had the entire glass to itself to run around and mark the area with its scent. Mission accomplished, insane tomato/clam hybrid drink.
2/5
TASTE
Clam. Clam. Clam clam clam clam clam. That's all my mind could think of as I washed down my first few swigs of the Bloody Beer. "You're drinking clam, Johnny" came before any considerations to the overall taste, which in retrospect was not very different from a Bloody Mary (in part because I apparently added about five times the recommended amount of Clamato).
This is not the fault of the Clamato, or the beer, or Beau Bishop, even though I was very angry with him at that moment. No, the fault was mine. Despite my best efforts at an honest review, I was swayed by the clam.
Clam/5
MOUTHFEEL
Surprisingly good! The Clamato actually went a long way toward making a somewhat garbage brand beer feel like an actual drink instead of the byproduct of a very dry and very mean German joke that stopped being funny about 75 years ago.
4/5
OVERALL
Okay, I clearly put in too much Clamato and screwed this up fairly significantly. My bad. While I can't really see myself enjoying a Bloody Beer under even optimal circumstances, I love trying out new and weird foods and drinks, so the chances of me trying to get this right with tomato juice and a different brand of beer are pretty high. So while gross, Bloody Beer remains on my menu, until I actually do try it again and just give up.
2.38/5
My video review is below, because this is a media website and the law of Internet 2.0 dictates that we have a video in conjunction with an article explaining the exact same content that's in said article:
i drank it. full details next wednesday with @BeauBishop and i on the @ElevenDubcast pic.twitter.com/LXD0XYMBLT
— Johnny (@Johnny11W) September 3, 2016
Anyway, here's how the Dubcast worked out!
0:00- The Bowling Green game was an utter destruction of a team that probably didn't deserve it, but dammit if it wasn't incredible. We could be lucky enough to approach peak J.T. Barrett this early in the season.
21:57- Oh whaddup, rest of the country? This was one of the best first weekends in recent memory, and we break down the successes of the Big Ten, the SEC falling flat on its face (with one very annoying and obvious exception), and a really rousing (read: confusing) speech to Texas that you should check out if you haven't already.
39:30- Ask Us Anything takes us to the incredible Estadio Azteca for a matchup against the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Iowa Hawkeyes!
And that's the Dubcast for this week, next week we'll hopefully be celebrating an equally awesome win against Tulsa and looking ahead nervously to Oklahoma. Enjoy your Bloody Beers and we'll see you soon!
